The Petal'philles Chapter VI Familiaritas

I didn’t wear a skirt, although tempted the stubborn side of me won out by explaining wherever I was, whoever I was to meet, I would always be me. Freshly showered I ran my fingers through my short dark brown hair, put on deodorant, applied chapstick to my lips which I couldn’t seem to quit biting (a habit I have had since age 7 or so), and rustled through my closet. I finally settled on a pair of real deal army fatigues and a black t-shirt with a picture of Pogo on it (John Wayne Gacy).
As my face hit the cool and clean night air my lungs balked at the clarity, and I promptly lit a cigarette. I walked slowly but with determination over the dead and haunted streets. I tossed change into some of the local scamps coffee cans or cups, I even began to hum nervously. I was terrified, and quite suddenly it hit me with a vengeance I’d not experienced since childhood. Two streets over from Julius, I was on Prospect making my way to the place where I was to meet Jeremy. I was checking my reflection in the dust ridden plate glass of abandoned stores as I passed searching my brain for a viable out when the yellow sign which read liquor filled my gaze and lifted my heart. I ducked into the market and purchased a pint of America’s finest “Old Grand Dad”, and once out in the street again, began to imbibe. Large scorching drinks seemed to numb my fear and solidify my resolve once more. I was feeling excited more than anxious now and my feet picked up the pace without me having to think it. Here I must admit I was being quite naïve, I had forgotten to keep my wits about me, in the big city trouble lies everywhere. Before too long I heard them, uneven footsteps, attempting to hide themselves by mirroring my own. It was time for fight or flight, and having never earned my wings I turned around to meet my shadow. Wouldn’t you know it, I was being followed by no other than the first bum I had taken pity on. His pathetic attempt at disguising himself tickled me as I noticed that although he had ducked into an alley he had left one of his shoes behind. I knew who he was by that shoe, the town’s people called him Lucky. I thrilled to imagine him crouched down in that alley completely shoeless, as he only ever wore one shoe. I imagined he would have worn two if they had made a second big enough. Lucky procured his nickname I’m told by escaping a near death experience where a city bus ran over his lower torso. It’s been said that he died several times on route to the hospital, but when they did finally revive him, he had no real internal injury. The only proof the accident had ever taken place was the damage done to his left foot, it was completely mangled. There was very little they could do to right it. Upon leaving the hospital he was left with a badly mis-shapen hoof of an extremity, which continued to swell and deform as he declined medical intervention and opted to self medicate with heroin and cheap vodka. To imagine my stalker barefoot and lying in wait suddenly made me very thirsty, I tipped my bottle and finished it off before walking to greet Lucky and deal with him.

Rounding the corner my eyes were forced to adjust quickly, as what I seen was not what I had expected. Lucky was not so Lucky anymore. He seemed to grow from Jeremy’s arm, his neck merged with Jeremy’s grip. The white of his eyes began to yellow and blink, his eyes lolling about in their orbit. Spit ran from his air staved mouth, and tiny whines escaped his throat as I stood there completely in awe. My eye’s found Jeremy’s who were too busy with Lucky to even notice I had arrived. To say my heart beat quickly barely does the emotion justice, I had butterflies. I slid myself in close to Jeremy, smelling the breath he had already exhaled, brushing the fibers of his leather coat, listening to his heart beat take pace with mine. I don’t know how long it lasted, seconds, maybe minutes until Lucky lay on the ground and Jeremy turned to face me.

“He was following you.” Was all Jeremy said, trying to justify his actions. “I know” was all I could respond. “So I suppose I’ve wrecked our first date before it even began?” he asked. I could barely respond, the fact that he labeled it a date made the expectations of which much higher, more convoluted, but equally more exciting. “No, you didn’t wreck it, no one is going to miss him, we can clean this up later.” As I spoke I began to position Lucky in the most recognizable of drunkard slouches, I placed my empty booze bottle in his lap after covering him to the chin in newspapers. I stood back to assess my work when I finished, supposing it wasn’t exactly a Norman Rockwell, but it would do.

We began to walk, the companionship of merely being this close to someone I did not intend to kill was brand new and comforting. My mind worked double, wondering why he had chosen me to let his guard down in front of. Wondering if he had done this before. Wondering if he intended to kill me. None of it mattered really, I felt too good to be worried or scared, I felt good for the first time in a long time, maybe forever.

“Who was in the hefty bag?”, his question shook me from my tranquility and made me refocus. I stopped abruptly and turned to face him. “I don’t care who it was really, I just wanted to know if it was the land lord?” Again I stared blankly at him, not knowing what to do or say. Now was the time to go all in or turn and run. I’d been running for so long without anyone giving chase that I had assumed he’d forget me, assumed he let me go, but my thoughts were interrupted by his hand on my wrist.

“You can turn and run if you’d like, but I will follow.” he spoke softly yet with an heir of finality. Puzzled I continued to stare back into his black eyes, hoping the answer I should give would be written in them, desperately searching for an explanation, wondering how he could know me so well.

“The prostitute.” was all that came out when I spoke. At this he began to laugh, a large thunderous laugh that made me smile in spite of my nervousness. Just when I thought he was done he began to laugh some more, quieting only when his stomach cramped and he was bent over on one knee. I just stared at him, the goofy smile I wore plastered to my face.

“Not bad really. I assume by prostitute you mean thee prostitute you pinned your most recent escapade on.” He began to chuckle again, it was an odd noise, a calming and satisfied noise that told me it was okay to say whatever I wanted. It told me he’d never turn me away, never be disgusted by me.

“That’d be the very same.” I replied rather proud of myself. I bit my lip to cover my smile that was slowly gaining speed, and looked into his eyes thankful he mirrored my joy. Somewhere in those eyes still sat a seat of pain so deep I knew I’d never know it completely, but I prayed right then to brush the surface.

“So “Rave”, I’ve told you my real name, it’s only fair if I know yours.” He prodded at me with his shoulder. The moment it touched mine sparks of electricity to rival that of an electric chair shot through my body and I bit my lip harder, he noticed but didn’t say a word. “My name is Emma.” I finally revealed. Anything else you’d like to know?” He pondered my question for a moment in dramatic fashion, his head tilting left to right, and spoke once more. “Yes, why didn’t you turn tail and run when you knew I knew exactly what you had done, and were planning to do?’ “I dunno” I said, “you didn’t make me feel like a leper, your eyes focused on my face when we spoke, not on my ass. You seen me, and no one has seen me in so long that I welcomed it no matter what came with it. My turn to ask a question” I insisted. “How did you know there was a body in that trash bag?” Just as I finished the question he began to laugh again, a prideful raw laughter that infected me with it’s energy and forced me to stand closer to him. He brought his lips close to my ear and in the softest of whispers spoke, “It was the smell dearest Emma, the smell of blood that hung in the air, the smell that always surrounds you.” I grabbed at my t-shirts collar pulling it to my nose I took a deep breath in, finding it odorless. My eyes must have looked as wounded as my heart felt for he quickly followed up with “I find it hard to appreciate a woman who does not appreciate her baser instincts, the way you look, the way you think, the way you speak and importantly the way you smell are what attracted me to you Emma. Never make apologies for what you are, because what you are is beautiful.” I bit my lip hard as he finished the last sentence, before I felt the pain I tasted the blood. My eyes so focused on his watched black irises which darted from my eyes to my lip, his hands quickly pressed me to him and before I could anticipate it his lips were on mine. The sting of blood being pulled from such soft skin raised the hair on my spine, although cold outside my flesh quickly burned with shame at enjoying this and I punched him as hard as I could in the jaw. As soon as I had done it I regretted it, after all was I not picturing this very scene only hours ago in my lonely little apartment. As I backed away from him now on bended knee, hand over the mark my fist had found I realized my jaw hurt too. Note to self: Never punch someone in the jaw who is kissing you! He looked up at me, apologies I did not deserve danced in his eyes, “I am sorry Emma, that was indeed too forward of me, but as you’ll come to realize, when it comes to blood, I can seldom be dissuaded.” His feelings were hurt, and I had done it. I couldn’t undo it, even if I’d wanted to. “Tell me though, as I am quite confused, did you not expect me to kiss you eventually?” His question was so sincere, I gave him the only answer I could. “I’ve never kissed anyone before.” I hung my head, embarrassed by a truly embarrassing omission, it was several moments before he stood up, righted his coat and spoke again “Am I to assume, no one has ever tried to kiss you before?” Now it was my turn to laugh, if we were going to lay it all out for each others eyes to feed hungrily off, better that we get it over now rather than prolong the embarrassment. “Plenty have tried to kiss me, none have succeeded. I’m a very hard person to get close to, kissing is as intimate as human interaction gets and I never wanted any part of that in fear of becoming attached or weak by love’s association.” He considered my answer for a few moments before he began again “Does this mean that you’re a virgin?” The anger which welled up inside of me had me suddenly thankful I’d punched him and suddenly regretful I’d only done it once. “Who the fuck are you? What are we doing? This won’t end storybook, if it ever even starts. What do I owe you?” He had me so pissed off I bit my lip ignoring the burn that followed, hoping what blood still pooled inside my mouth, would serve as enough to spit at him. “So does that mean you’re not going to answer?”

I set my eyes to function as laser beams, hoping to cut him as deep as this omission would cut me. I swallowed hard and spoke. “People have fucked me, plenty of people. I’ve been paid to lay in more ways than most adventurous whores can claim. I wasn’t always cold. Something happens to a girl who others use, she either becomes the delicate flower they wish her to be, petals strewn everywhere, or she turns those petals to concrete and using them to barricade her heart, eventually stops feeling. I’m the concrete type. So no Jeremy, I’m not a virgin, but I’ve never given it away either.”

He smiled, no he grinned. It wasn’t a happy sort of grin, it was a “I know where you come from” type of gesture. He stood up, grabbed my hand, and we started walking back towards our apartment building. We didn’t talk the whole way there, and in keeping pace with his long strides I tired myself to the point where anger no longer existed. I was serene again, and happy just to be touching someone’s warm hand. He stopped at the entrance to our two story walk up, smiled with such intensity that my heart fluttered and spoke, “Now Emma, I plan on trying to kiss you again, if you’d like, you’re more than welcome to react as you did the first time. However, I think if you just relax, you might find it’s not as horrible as you’d imagine.” I felt faint, I didn’t want control of my emotions anymore, I wanted him to lead me down any road he wished because he could. I wanted to follow blindly giving up the shame for things I didn’t chose. “Do me a favor,” I said, his eyes responded by brightening, “if you’re going to kiss me, hold my arms here, I don’t want to punch you again”, as I spoke I motioned with my arms, mock tying them behind my back. Enlightenment dawned across his face, and just as I felt I was surely going to faint he grabbed my arms pinning them behind me with such raw strength I almost cried out in pain. He watched as my eyes closed softly and listened as my breathing became ragged, slowly he applied more pressure to my already strained arms, it took all I had not to cry out, what was he waiting for. Tears welled inside my eyes as he jerked my arms upward once more, the pain so deliciously ushering me half bent over, ever closer to his lips finally made sense, he wanted me to kiss him. My brain switched off, I lurched forward pressing the soft scared flesh of my lips to his. I could still taste my blood, smell my blood on his breath. I was so completely his at that moment that I felt no shame, no sin could reach me here, for the first time in years I felt visible. He let go of my hands, almost too quickly they found his head, stabilizing it, begging him not to back away, but slowly and ever so sweetly he receded. He looked refreshed, reborn, I was sure I just looked hungry and dejected, afraid he’d found something to finally put him off my eyes searched his for answers. “I’m afraid if I stay right next to you, right there (he points beside me), I’ll never leave. It’s almost sunrise Emma and I have to clean-up the mess our little friend will lead to. Understanding soon covered my eyes, I had forgotten all about Lucky. I shook my head in agreeance, and smiled back at him. He looked dazed and completely beautiful, he stood there all 6’ 3” of him bathed in the twilight of morning, highlighted by blues and purples fringed in gold. I decided right then he was an angel. As I turned from him and made my way into the building I heard him call, “No worries, I’m not looking at your ass.” I giggled suddenly infected with life and happiness, dramatically I bent down and shook my butt in his direction. I heard him feign shock and disapproval, and as I turned to wave he was already walking off towards the liquor store, but I could tell by his step, he was happy too

The Petal'philles Chapter VI Familiaritas

Edibl3leper

New Haven, United States

  • Artist
    Notes
  • Artwork Comments 14

Artist's Description

Pre-Story, lol, I hate to over explain myself. Let me just say, this is merely the beginning, I appreciate critique and insight no matter what it may be, please keep in mind I have only just begun.

At this time it is meant to be a voyage into the completely insane sanity that is a female killers mind. In the end I hope to high light the love that can be found in darkness, without adding flowering flourishes. Yet more than anything else, I wish to display the raw human cruelty than can exist behind long eyelashes and short stature. I am not a feminist, and neither is Emma, but I venture to say, we could all learn a thing or to from her view.

If you would like to continue on reading Emma’s journey, please look into my folder named Work in Progress , that is where you will find the following chapters numbered. I did this in the hopes of making the story easier to leave and come back to, tied up in neat little packages.

Artwork Comments

  • homeartist
  • Edibl3leper
  • lilynoelle
  • lilynoelle
  • Edibl3leper
  • lilynoelle
  • Edibl3leper
  • lilynoelle
  • Edibl3leper
  • lilynoelle
  • Symmetry48
  • Edibl3leper
  • Symmetry48
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

10% off

for joining the Redbubble mailing list

Receive exclusive deals and awesome artist news and content right to your inbox. Free for your convenience.