Just Me...

As a photographer I believe my mental state is directly tied to my visualization of the world around me. As a writer I am just dennis..No more or less. I try to connect the two in my mind but find the task a contradiction at times.The simple dennis is full of emotion and awe.The photographer Ducilla is concerned with F-stops and exposures,with DOF and composition, and a myriad of technical equipment that can, (at least at times,) complete the assigned task.The two disconnected parts of my brain are in constant turmoil ,left brain vs.right brain? My emotional response to a certain beauty my eyes record is to slow down and simply enjoy the beauty, try not to interact but try to ….experience…. the essence ,the soul, of that moment . My right brain is reaching for the camera bag as my left side is enjoying this moment ,constantly.. How can I achieve happiness in this impossible situation?.. How can I truly enjoy the moment that is exclusively mine as a gift from nature? With this constant battle raging ,it is a frustration that I feel in my heart, in my soul?…My response to this conundrum was to begin to keep a journal.A recording of my feelings and emotions .. The journal is the real dennis..The heart and soul of the simple me. I gave in to the Ducilla photographer with the absolute knowledge that the right side will record that moment in all of its glory for the simple dennis to re-live over and over again.. This WIN/win solution was a armistice made in every fiber of my being.Ducilla is happy with the intense learning curve of the increasing ISO ratings and the advanced HDR capabilities whereas dennis can look at a moment in time much like he would if time had stopped still for him and him alone.. Dennis is complete, the marriage of Ducilla and dennis is a union made in the wake of a impossible situation with a peaceful conclusion!!!The point of this little expose’ is to let the two readers who are still not asleep that my writing is directly connected to my images. I am not a writer in the truest sense. I think(and believe) that the writing is more a way to explain myself to me?. I write as I think and am sure that the syntax and punctuation are all totally wrong,much like my mind….The Red Bubble will not allow me to import images into my writing so I will use the image title as the heading to my written entries. You will understand my writing if you look at the image first(or last?..) and I will post the image right next to the written word in my profile under the cute heading of “writing”…. All of this typing and emotion is being slowly organized into a book that hopefully will let others know how to heal the wounds created by the left/right war in our brains…Titled “The Epitaph of a Addicted Photographer”. It really is a guide to photography with feeling, or potentially a guide to feelings with photography…At least I hope ?….Dennis


Currently unavailable for purchase

A attempt at trying to analize the unknown..


  • debsphotos
    debsphotosover 3 years ago

    You’ve made it all sound just like it is Dennis!!The artist and the admirer..trying to find a happy medium!!*-)

  • LOL..You do understand!.. I am trying to find that “happy” middle ground.. It is a constant struggle but if I can be sure the right brain is working I have been able to keep the left side in check!..lol.Thanks again Deb…D.

    – ducilla

  • Arla M. Ruggles
    Arla M. Rugglesover 3 years ago

    Oh MY! Like looking in the mirror!
    Beautifully expressed!

  • That is a great way of putting it Arla.. If you see a beautiful stallion out on the ridge do you rush around looking for the camera or do you just watch?.. A inner struggle for me it seems?…Thanks for the comment…D.

    – ducilla

  • Arla M. Ruggles
    Arla M. Rugglesover 3 years ago

    Me? I never have to look for the camera- mine is always on my neck

    BTW- You CAN include images in your written articles; just as in a journal or sidebar entry; paste the URL code between exclamation points. Just the image address; not the comment page.

  • LOL.. The camera is always close but there are those times I get distracted!!…I tried to insert a image in the writing area but it just comes out as a box with a “x” in it? You can actually see the box its still there!.. Maybe I am just challenged . This is the thread I inserted ! http://www.redbubble.com/people/ducilla/art/683...! … All I get is the red “X”..lol.. Thanks for the help…D.

    – ducilla

  • paintingsheep
    paintingsheepover 3 years ago

    All part of being an Artist…beautiful Dennis!!

  • LOL.. That is so true Gena..But to actually write it out and then let everyone see my mixed up brain is a very personal endeavor.. I have kept a journal for a long time but never let anyone see it!..lol I appreciate your time and effort to give me some feedback…D.

    – ducilla

  • seeya
    seeyaover 3 years ago

    Dennis – In other words, let it go with the flow :) Sandy

  • LOL..Yes!… Or as the Grateful Dead once sang…..Keep on Truckin’..!!…Thanks Sandy ,D.

    – ducilla

  • Murph2010
    Murph2010over 3 years ago

    Hm, I’m starting to truly understand the importance of keeping a journal when I shoot. Too often when I’m shooting I look at a scene as being “pretty” or I think “oh wow the light’s good here.” “Kevin” has gotten lost in “Murph” (and “Raven,” I suppose, since he came first). Having a journal will encourage me to sit down and look more deeply into a scene before shooting. Thanks for the inspiration. Oh, and I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, I look forward to your book!

  • LOL.. Oh God! you sound like me your poor guy.Run fast!..I wish someone had told me about a journal at your age.It is a great asset to the photography and for your appreciation of nature as well.. These days I find that journal at least as pleasurable as the photography… Enjoy it!..D.

    – ducilla

  • PatChristensen
    PatChristensenover 3 years ago

    A very interesting piece. Being an artist, photographer and writer I find I see things very different than others often. Not that it is a bad thing it makes me apprecite that I can record with a brush, words or my camera, from the view of my eyes, my mind or my heart. The struggle is as you say when one overlaps the other. The happy medium is a grand place when actually found, rare for myself, lol, but on occassion found. I have enjoyed this piece, it is always a pleasure to see one is not alone.

  • Hi Pat!..Its nice to see your thoughts are so similar to my own.. I totally agree that the “happy medium” is a wonderful place to reach and not always such a easy task to accomplish?.. I just returned from a month touring the southwest parks and the words and images came together a few times for me during this trip.Perhaps it was the grandeur of the red monoliths I was camping near?…Thanks again for your input..D.

    – ducilla

  • Lois  Bryan
    Lois Bryanover 3 years ago
    “I gave in to the Ducilla photographer with the absolute knowledge that the right side will record that moment in all of its glory for the simple dennis to re-live over and over again..” Dennis .. I so totally and completely understand your feelings … overwhelmed by beauty, part of me just goes “AHHHHHH!!!” while the rest of me is digging in the camera bag for the right lens, and calculating iso, aperture, shutter speed, angle … but what FUN!!!! The image you just commented on, “A Love Letter From Summer” was very much like that. The added plus is the fun I have in Photoshop … reliving the moment and enhancing it. Of course many times just leaving the image alone is sufficient. But always, always there’s the specialo connection back to that moment of awe.
  • There is no doubt in my mind that you understand…..D.

    – ducilla

  • BCallahan
    BCallahanover 3 years ago

    congratulations on the union of Dennis and Ducilla… i know what you mean too…. we all have two sides… the practical and the dreamer… congrats on learning how to combine the two!!

  • Thanks for the encouragement Barbara!.. It is a on-going struggle but there is a tentative peace agreement in place at this point!.. I appreciate your fine thoughts…D.

    – ducilla

  • Sunchia
    Sunchiaover 3 years ago

    Well written Dennis, says a lot about being alive in this human body, mind and spirit

  • Thanks for the great comment Raphael… The writing has always been a bit personal but I am encouraged when I get great input like yours…D.

    – ducilla

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