The bearer of a drunkonwater design will be a dashing individual.
You will be jolly good and top drawer.
You will shine at common household tasks.
You will demonstrate incredible guile in games of Connect Four.
Children will flock to your handcrafted homewares.
You will be a cordial connoisseur.
You will photosynthesise.
You will eat only because it tastes good.
You will sleep only to be polite.
And you will be feted suitably.