The photograph represents my personal experience with PTSD and how if effects my interactions with others & life. My hope is that it helps others understand further about PTSD. I have begun going forth into social, situations more and in that I begin to understand further, how PTSD impacts me. Does that mean I will stop no. :)
Photographic elements breakdown:
Pose: The pose was chosen to show some confidence, but guarded and withdrawn to a degree. I can feel socially withdrawn and extreme, sense of guard because of being hypervigilance. I am hidden back due to this withdrawn feeling as well rather then directly, in camera.
Expression: The impacts of PTSD can create a sense, of lack of interest or numbing.
The cat: Well, she chose to appear in the shoot, which in all the times I have done shoots, this is the first time she chose to appear with me. I left her there because it pushes the sense of detachment or interaction between me and her. This can occur with detaching with social and is meant to represent that.
TV: The TV I have used before as showing static. This is because I can feel it is difficult to concentrate on one subject with PTSD. It also, represents that my reactions can seem flat, emotionally dead in circumstances. These circumstances or where others might be extremely, expressive excited and my reaction seems rude or flat to others. It complicates my real, intent towards others or a situation.
The bandaged/blood hand: Represents a sense of wounded by guilt or over sense of guilt that PTSD can cause. I recently suffered 2nd degree burns to the hand and I was intent on using the bandage in a shoot. Not for sympathy mind you, but in reality that bandage started this whole, idea and incorporating the TV and hand.
P.S.: I would like to add that yes, I have been through counseling and take medication. However, it still means learning to recognize the symptoms & handle them from learning new, skills. Photography, is a part of that for me it allows me to communicate and connect with others socially. It has been a breakthrough for me.
Kodak: I am still learning with this camera and all its settings, but like the overall output thus, far.