Every morning I open my eyes hoping to see… a better day…new meaning… new beginning
As I roll out of bed I find that my hopes are clouded…the day is not…same as before with the same feeling.
Taking a deep breath…I exhale with a heavy heart… looking over seeing HIM…him laying in dream.
A feeling of discuss overwhelms me…. Discuss… this life is not as it seems.
Drinking my coffee I look around…just to see sadness….despair…seeing nothing but the dark cloud.
Longing for more…I take another sip…my mind won’t stop…this hate…my anger screaming at me so loud.
Anger….at the fact I have allowed me to become this way….anger..to have accepted my fate.
Sadness then over powers me…never knowing….if I will know joy…question, is it too late?
Morning becomes afternoon…I take a breath… tears…flowing like rain…once tears of joy…now of sorrow.
Not wanting the night…not willing to sleep…knowing that the same will be tomorrow.
As I make dinner I’m lost once more…wanting to run… never stopping…to scared this will find me.
Trapped….I’m living this lie…trapped without hope…hope of ever being free.
This house…these people…never alone..always wanting….OH MY GOD I yell…I’ve become a shell.
Nothing…I am nothing…could this be my fear?
Once I was this vibrant…brilliant…beautiful woman…empty…I lost who I am.
This house…this family…this life…no longer I wish to be.
Inside I’m dieing…slowly dieing…fading…who is this person I once called me?
Morning…afternoon…the days end…yet knowing tomorrow will be the same…my soul is aching.
The foot of my bed I pray….the angle of death…the only way this life will end…my sorrow….anger….discuss…death I already know…life in this house I no longer wish making.
Every morning I open my eyes hoping to see…a better day…new meaning…a new beginning.
Tony Ryan
I am sure so many people have found themselves in this position, with these same or similar thoughts. I think in some ways people in general are locked inside a cage with how society has conditioned us to feel controlled. All so scared to speak up for fear of offending. I think we all have a map to freedom and it is in our hearts. We just have to start by being honest and not fearing loss. This is so hard to do in a world that so protects and manipulates and hides truth. However if our emotions scream loud enough I feel we have no other choice than to listen and slowly and passionatly follow the path our hearts have for us. For our hearts are all we should really be dependant upon in my opinion.
DragsterMom077
you are very right…thank you for taking the time to read my work…thank you
barnsy
i love the emotion you have portrayed.
a realy good and uplifitng piece.
DragsterMom077 replied
ty for taking the time to read this… ty again…glad you liked it