The playground was serious business. The swings swung idly in the breeze. There was no one else about and Jack was busy in the sand pit. There was a castle under construction. In fact, an entire village, nay, kingdom was under construction.
Jack was a dutiful king. Only the best was good enough for his people. The best houses. The best roads. The best of everything.
There was a screech. Jack looked up, his eyes squinting and his ears straining to listen. The villagers were silent, confused. He knew that sound. She was back!
Would the kingdom ever be safe from the treacherous attacks of Marga, the evil she-dragon from the land of Yurk? Super king leapt to his feet, magical sword in hand and heroic cape flapping in the breeze er, well, heroically.
The huge bulk of the dragon appeared over the horizon, flying down, low over the rolling hills of corn and barley. She came! She was so fast!
Her landing was heavy and graceless – rather like how a cow might make a landing if a cow had wings. She was twice as tall as the cubby house, and almost as wide as the entire swing set. Her body was covered with moss covered, slimy grey green scales from the top of her tiny upturned nose to the tip of her pointy tail. There were two tiny holes where her ears should have been and a thin tendril of wispy smoke drifted out of her nostrils. Her tiny black eyes glared at him. There was no thought behind them. He could tell she wasn’t that smart really. Big, but dumb.
She roared at him – a thunderous thing. The stench of her breath took him quite by surprise. It buckled his knees and he fell to the ground,. He could hear the gurgle of her disgusting belly. What foul meats digested there? What half rotten, maggoty food had she eaten? It didn’t matter. He would prevail. He held his breath, steeled his heart and, through watery eyes, he rose to his feet.
Sword in hand, he raced at the foul beast. With one lightening strike of his sword, he slew the dragon. She fell backwards, lost, gone. Victorious, Super king stood on the battlefield. The kingdom was safe and the villagers rejoiced! There was cheering and much merriment.
A roar broke out over all the cheering.
What was that?
In the distance?
The earth shook, rumbled and heaved upwards. One long great green arm shot up out of the ground, then a second. Then great hulking shoulders and black mattered hair appeared. With a thunderous shout, the creature pulled herself out of the ground. It was the great ogress Damsha, gobbler of boys and squasher of castles!
She was as tall as a tree, with huge green hands – as big as TV screens. Worms wriggled under her brown, cracked fingernails. Her hair was short, mattered and black with bits of twigs and dirt and insects all mixed together in it. Her eyes were putrid and mucky with yellow puss. Her face was covered in pimples and the snotty hair in her nose reached all the way to her elbows. She carried a club and, strangely, wore a little pink mini dress and black stilettos
Her gangly knees were turned in and her hairy knuckles dragged on the ground as she lumbered forward. And her back! Her back was covered with enormous warts, on which snails seemed to be living.
She towered above him, screeching insane, unintelligible words. He was frozen to the spot in sheer horror. The maggots in her nose wriggled as she raised her enormous club above her head.
Super king spun, threw up his enchanted shield and braced himself. The club came crashing down on the shield and, instantly, shattered into a million pieces. Damsha, the evil ogress, cried out in pain and fell back. She was holding up her aim, groaning in agony.
Super king rose to his feet and lowered his shield. He glared at her. Fear rose in her eyes. She screamed and stumbled backwards. She glanced at the slain dragon nearby. She screamed again, turned and ran. No, she wouldn’t dare take on Super king again. He had strange and terrible powers that she could never understand with her puny brain.
Super king, hero and all round good boy, smiled, then laughed. The kingdom was safe and the villagers rejoiced! There was music and dancing.
What was that strange sound he could hear? It sounded like cackling laughter. It got louder and louder and louder. The music died down. The villagers looked worried.
There was a puff of purple smoke and she stood before him.
No! It couldn’t be! How many perils could this little kingdom endure? It was She-wench, the evil cackling witch of the unhappy swamps. What was she doing here?
Her unhealthy breath levelled flowers. Her enchanted army boots killed the very grass she trod on. She stood before him, cackling insanely with wisps of purple steam rising from her shoulders. She wore army boots, purple and black striped stockings, black hot pants a purple shirt and a pointed, black witch’s hat. She raised her claw like arms up to the sky. She began to utter strange mystical words. Suddenly she pointed at him and screamed. Thick bands of purple lightening shot out from the tips of her fingers and shot directly at super king. Super king’s reflexes were sharp. There was no quicker swordsman in all the land. He deflected nay, reflected the bolt of purple lightening back at the witch.
There was a scream and showers of sparks and smoke. He closed his eyes and held his sword tightly. When he opened them the smoke was clearing and the witch was gone. Instead there sat a tiny blue and purple polka dotted frog wearing a teeny witch’s hat, and a rather surprised expression.
“Gribbit?” it said and hopped away slowly. She was defeated. The kingdom was safe and the villagers rejoiced, happy but cautious this time.
Super king suddenly realised something. The horror of it dawned on him. They were all after him. The dragon, the orgress, the witch.
It was him that brought danger to his kingdom.
He had no choice. He had to leave!
King Jack, super king, hero and all round good boy was a good king. If he had to give up his kingdom for the sake of his kingdom, then that’s what he would do. He leapt up onto his brilliant white stallion and rode off into the sunset.
“Jacky! For the last time! Mum say’s we’re leaving. Hurry Up!” she hollered.
“I heard you the first time!” Jack screamed back and, sullenly, followed his sister out of the play ground.
The kingdom was safe and the villagers rejoiced.