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As his tongue parted her mouth, she couldn’t resist: he tasted like stale Cheetos. He continued to slobber over her face as he groped her love-handles. His hands moved down and undid her zipper. Panic struck as she suddenly remembered she hadn’t shaved her legs since August.

Maybe he won’t notice, she thought.

His mouth was now attempting to create a hickey on her left breast as he pushed her pants down freeing one leg. He immediately untied his sweats to let his manhood pop out.

As he climbed on top of her, his man-boobs swayed. He thrust hard…and missed. After two more attempts, she guided all three inches into her. He made four quick thrusts and collapsed on top of her, sweating on her chest.

As they dressed, she noticed they still had 24 minutes of their 30-minute lunch break.

“Want to get McDonald’s?”

Currently unavailable for purchase

A “bad sex scene” on purpose.

My friend encouraged me to enter this challenge (Getting Down and Dirty)…I don’t know why she thougt I’d be able to come up with something.

NOT “based on a true story.”
However, I may admit that some aspects of it might…I say, might, be loosely “inspired” by an encounter or two.


man, scene, bad, sex, boobs


  • Anne van Alkemade
    Anne van Alkemadeabout 6 years ago

    hehehehehehehehe oooooohhhh eeeewwwww

  • Anne van Alkemade
    Anne van Alkemadeabout 6 years ago

    ohhh, don’t forget to paste it in the competition thread, darls!!!!

  • Anne, thanks for the laugh and for the reminder to post it. I didn’t think I could post until it was accepted to the group, so I was waiting (but I am quite forgetful, so the reminder is greatly appreciated).

    – dolphinkist

  • AndrewJP
    AndrewJPabout 6 years ago

    This is an absolute shocker… it takes a lot to make me laugh out loud, but you managed it. Well done. Man-boobs. lol. sorry.

  • dolphinkist
    dolphinkistabout 6 years ago

    Thanks, AndrewJP! I’m so glad it made you laugh.

  • iAN Derrick
    iAN Derrickabout 6 years ago

    Reminds me of the wife whose husband always insisted upon Soft Boiled Eggs for breakfast…and she didn’t own a kitchen egg timer. Now for your next tale …of happiness.

  • I forgot about that joke! It’s a good one, though.
    And…I’ll try to work on some of that happiness…I’m sure I left it around here somewhere!

    – dolphinkist

  • Lawford
    Lawfordabout 6 years ago

    Hehe. Good one.
    Bugger Maccas. If he’s that quick he has time to go to the pub for lunch.

  • Yep! And probably get more Cheetos. Or maybe something with onions.

    – dolphinkist

  • Miri
    Miriabout 6 years ago

    moobs and maccas!! great stuff, really made me chuckle!!!

  • There it is again.
    Okay…I guess this is showing how un-Aussie I am. I have no idea what “moobs” and “maccas” are. I mean, I can guess, but I’m really not sure if it’s referring to something specific or is it an exclamation?

    At any rate, I’m very glad it made you chuckle!

    – dolphinkist

  • Miri
    Miriabout 6 years ago

    moobs are man boobs, that’s probably a UKism
    maccas is Macdonalds, now that i’ve picked up in Aus ;)

  • Thanks for the clarification. I guess I haven’t learned any of that watching Doctor Who, yet (for the UK reference, of course…they don’t seem to make it Down Under much)!

    – dolphinkist

  • Cathryn Swanson
    Cathryn Swansonabout 6 years ago

    Haha, made me chuckle too.

  • Good! I mean, if you really think about it, is there anything funnier than sex?!?

    – dolphinkist

  • Zolton
    Zoltonabout 6 years ago

    OMG…. that’s all… ha ha. I am voting on these silly things and this one cracked me up good!

  • Happy to have made you laugh, Zolton! It’s good to be silly (although I’m told it isn’t good to always be silly, but I don’t know…).

    – dolphinkist

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