“Is it true?! They can cure us?”
“No, Rogue… they can’t cure you. Do you know why? There’s nothing to cure. Nothing’s wrong with you… or any of us, for that matter.”
X3: The Last Stand might very well have been the worst movie out of the X Men movie trilogy, but some of the underlying social/ ethical issues throughout the movie really did hit home for me. The biggest of these was the issue concerning whether or not Rogue ought to have taken the “mutant cure” and become a normal human being.
First, let me provide a bit of background information for those of you who might not be familiar with what I’m talking about – X Men started out as a very popular comic book series that eventually made its way onto the big screen, featuring people who were born with special traits/ abilities/ powers that made them different from others. These people were called mutants, and were feared by the rest of the human race because of what made them different. Eventually, however, that fear began to melt away, and was instead replaced with (misguided?) compassion – in X3: The Last Stand, a medical company develops a serum that, when taken by injection, removes the mutant gene from the body, and turns the mutant into an ordinary human being, without any of the different traits/ abilities/ powers they had been born with.
This, of course, sparks a fierce controversy in the mutant population – for some mutants, their special abilities (ranging from telepathy, fast reflexes, the ability to manipulate the elements, etc.) are something to be celebrated, and any attempt to remove that or take it away is a huge insult to everything they are. For other mutants, this cure is viewed as an opportunity to finally be free of oppression, exclusion, and prejudice – an opportunity to finally be accepted by the mainstream society that has given them the cold shoulder for so long.
This is especially true for a mutant named Rogue, whose special ability is that she can inflict intense, even life-threatening, pain on somebody just by touching them. Some might think it to be amazing, but for Rogue, it is a curse, as she feels condemned to live for the rest of her life without ever coming into contact with another human being. Her powers prevent her from being able to touch her boyfriend, Bobby, and prevent her from being able to even kiss him without putting his life in danger. As a result, she is eager to get a dose of the mutant cure, in spite of the fact that a lot of her peers and friends advise her not to, or at least think it over instead of just rushing into it.
The question that I would like to ask the RedBubble community, particularly the gay and the Christian community on RedBubble, is: what if there was a way to cure homosexuality? What if it was possible for a gay person to change his or her sexuality and become a heterosexual? How many of us in the gay community would take that cure?
I don’t care if you believe your sexuality cannot be changed. Assume, for a minute, that what I’m asking you right now is actually common knowledge and you really did have a choice.
The reason I am asking you this question, is because this is a path that I have recently wondered if I am capable of walking on. As I said in a previous journal entry- , yes, I am gay… I also became a Christian four years ago, and have been trying to live my life in tune with the message of Jesus Christ ever since. I can’t say I left behind a life of promiscuity, since I’ve only had sex twice in my entire life… but the fact remains that my sexual desires are still directed towards other men, and even going beyond sex, I find it virtually impossible to even imagine myself married to and in love with a woman, with biological children of my own.
Now this probably isn’t a problem at all for the gay man who doesn’t believe in God, and recklessly acts on his sexual desires every chance he gets, but for someone like me… it’s tough to call yourself a true follower of Christ when you find yourself getting really uncomfortable with verses in the Bible like Romans 1:27 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. Promiscuity no longer feels like freedom… instead, I only feel like a slave to my own body, which is humiliating, considering that I’d like to be seen as an intelligent human being that’s above bowing to every single request made by the area between my legs.
In terms of love… I’d like to imagine that there’s a man out there who sees past whatever he witnesses with his own two eyes. I’d like to imagine that there’s a man out there who sees kindness and graciousness before he even notices muscles or good looks… a man who knows and loves Christ more than he could ever love me, and at the same time, be willing to make a commitment so that my lips would be the only lips he would ever kiss for as long as we both would live.
And then I wonder… am I wishing for an impossibility, hoping that there’s a good Christian man out there that I could love with all my heart? Is it even more outrageous to hope that God would look down from Heaven at the two of us and smile? Is it like holding an apple in your outstretched hand, and hoping that it’ll fly up into the sky, instead of falling down to the ground when you let it go?
I ask all this because I just get so tired of being at war with myself. The worst fight is over, mind you – I feel that it’s important to let you all know that I’m NOT struggling with this because I’ve got this intense fear that God is going to send me to hell. If it’s true that whosoever believes in the divinity of Christ Jesus will have everlasting life, then there’s no need for me to be afraid of the future. But if it’s also true that real Christianity transcends mere religion, and is instead a relationship with God, then I see my homosexuality as a barrier preventing my relationship with God from becoming more wonderful than it is as of today.
Think of it this way – imagine a man who has the perfect wife… a wife who loves him wholly, unconditionally… and constantly forgives him in spite of the fact that he’s constantly cheating on her. The man sees how much his wife loves him and feels an intense wave of guilt over the fact that he feels so unworthy of her love because of his unfaithfulness to her. The husband knows that his wife’s love for him is so pure that she would never divorce him, but instead of seeing that as an incentive to keep cheating, the man is now inspired to stop, in hopes of becoming at least a little more worthy of the love that his wife gives so freely.
That’s kind of the way it feels between me and God. I know, of course, that salvation is given by grace, and that even if I was as good of a person as Mother Teresa, it could never match the kind of love that God has for me. That being said, I also feel it important to mention that I’m not looking to destroy my sexuality in order to earn God’s love. There’s no point in trying to earn something that was already given to me freely. The reason why I’m trying to do this is because it tortures me to know that God is so madly in love with somebody like me, and I feel as if He deserves so much better than me. So even if I could never be “good enough” to God, I feel as if I should at least try to be good enough, so I can feel a little less guilt over the fact that I’ve received an incredible blessing that I know I don’t deserve.
Think about the last time you deeply hurt somebody you love. Then think about how good it felt to be forgiven…to have that person hug you, look into your eyes and say, “It’s okay. I forgive you. I love you and will always love you.” I think about God’s forgiveness, and I as much as I am filled with relief and happiness… there’s another voice that points a finger at me and says, “You’re such a fucking asshole! If you really understood the weight of what you had done, you would’ve jumped into a tub of acid, because a person as bad as you doesn’t deserve to even look into the face of the person you wronged.”
I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s felt this… more often than not, even though we wish to be forgiven… a lot of us sometimes wish that the person we hurt would stop loving us altogether, because we know that punishment is what we actually deserve, as opposed to having that person look us in the eye and say “I love you still, and I don’t love you any less than I did yesterday, or the day before.” To have God say that makes you all the more aware of how unworthy you really are… it makes you feel bad about yourself… it makes you want to hold God at arms length and wail “Look, God – just don’t_… STOP IT, okay?! I know You love me, and I love You too…but You’re too good for me, and I love You too much to let you settle for less than what You actually deserve… so let me just jump off this bridge, so You’ll have room in Your life to actually find someone who’s _GOOD ENOUGH for You, because that person isn’t me, as much as I wish it was!”
So, going back to homosexuality… what if there really was a way to become straight? What if there really was a way to be at least a_little_ bit less ashamed of yourself when you look into God’s face for the first time? Why would anyone turn down the opportunity to make life a little easier, Christian or not?
And if the opportunity is truly there, what am I supposed to do? Watch lesbian porn for weeks on end until I finally get turned on by it? Ask a random girl out on a date and pretend that I’m sincere enough times, hoping that by the end of the date I really will be sincere about it? It’s obviously not enough to argue the point that one should turn away from homosexuality because the Bible commands you to… if that was all it took, then nobody on this planet would be gay because nearly everybody on this earth has heard a pastor say those words at least once! So having a valid point in an argument clearly doesn’t do the job…
So to my fellow brothers/ sisters in Christ, I ask you, how exactly does one deal with and fix homosexuality after letting God into their lives? I’ve prayed about it more than once, believe me, and my prayers have not been halfhearted either… yet I woke up the next morning and was still gay, so if “former” homosexuals are the real deal, it’d be nice to know what it is they did that I am obviously forgetting to do. I’m not even leading a homosexual “lifestyle” – been celibate for four years, don’t go to gay clubs/ bars/ events, don’t go around looking for hookups with other guys – check, check… checking everything off my list and I still know quite clearly in my heart that I’m gay. So what exactly am I missing?
And to my gay friends/ family… if there really was a way to turn yourself around, if there truly exists out there a way for you to no longer be a homosexual, would you take the opportunity? And if you wouldn’t, why not? I sincerely hope you’ll try to give me more than the “I was born this way/ love yourself for who you are” cliché. There are serial killers and pedophiles out there that could probably make that same argument (keep in mind that I’m not equating my fellow gay brothers/ sisters with serial killers and pedophiles – I’m just saying that clichés heard a thousand times will not justify you in the eyes of the rest of the world when worse people than you will say the same things). Just because you’re born a certain way doesn’t mean you need to stay that way. If a person is born blind, would it be wrong for him to accept a doctor’s offer to give him a new set of eyes? Would the rest of his blind friends tell him there’s no need, and that he’s fine the way he is? And is that just because none of them have ever known what it’s like to have sight, therefore they just don’t know any better?
Again, I say all this because I want to at least try. For all anyone knows, I might fall flat on my face and fail. I might never get married or fall in love for the rest of my life. I might even fall deeply in love with a man and stay married to him for the rest of my life. At this point, I hardly know what to pray for anymore. I might show up in Heaven one day just to have the angels say, “We’re letting you in, but just make sure you know that you were fooling yourself when you thought being in a loving monogamous relationship with another man would erase what the Bible said about homosexuality. Doesn’t matter if you sincerely loved him and weren’t having one-night stands all over the place.” I might hang my head in shame (I’m going to be humbled in the presence of God regardless), but I want to at least be able to say, “Yes, I failed at being able to live completely by Your word, God… but I can tell You, if nothing else, that at least it wasn’t for the lack of trying.”
BYRON, 6 months ago
Hiya Daniel,
(restraining myself from entering the whole god vs gay debate)
Those of us in the Autistic community also associate strongly with the X-MEN movies for exactly the same reason.
In relation to god and being gay. If some non-religious people can accept gay people and some religious people can accept gay people then surely god can accept it too.
IF god is about love and forgiveness then he/she has to accept you.
There is nothing in the Ten Commandments (any of the 3 versions that appear in the bible) about being gay, and that is supposed to be the word of god. IF god hates gays so very much, then do you really think he would have forgotten to tell Moses about it?
I think not.
The other “references” to homosexuality in the bible are NOT the word of god – they were written by men either hundreds of years after the time of Jesus, and have been translated from their orginal languages many many times so any original meaning could well have been lost.
I think that if you treat all people with dignity and love and respect and do not judge them in anyway, then you can stand proud before god and he will welcome you.
Besides, remember this: Adolf Hitler prayed to god, and I am guessing he was a lot worse than you being gay. And I bet that he rots in hell.
Kenny Gulley Jr., 6 months ago
I’d say it depends if they want to change who they are.
For them to be forced would be unconstitutional and pathetic.
You know i find it irritating when the gay community equals their issue
(gay marriage) with that of civil rights of colored people (i am mexican and black). But i’d say thata “cure” to them would be like asking…would you like to be white so that u can now be equal to the majority of America (in 1960s).
umbra, 6 months ago
daniel,
there are other stories in the bible as well as the passages that you mention….
how can you negate the love stories of David whose love for Jonathon was greater than that of his love for women, and of Naomi and Ruth whose love was so anointed by god that the words of their love are often recited at Christian wedding ceremonies, or of the love that Jesus had that was so unconditional that he healed the male lover of the roman?
do you have so little faith that you think that those examples of love are there by accident?? That despite all the years and translations and agenda’s of man that they still survived intact in the Bible? Are they also not the word of god?
Think about the difference, the passages you mention speak about what would be considered “sins” of the flesh while the ones i mention speak more about love….
just some food for thought….i am not judging or advocating one view over another because no matter what anyone says you must find your own peace with God…
for myself my perception is that i was born the way i am so to suggest that my nature should be changed would be an affront to God or whatever higher power that created me i.e. that he/she made a mistake….
knowing that this is a struggle for you right now i wish you healing and peace on your journey….
Ashley Ng, 6 months ago
Interesting thought. Sociologically, however, I’m of the opinion that homosexuality isn’t a disease. This was interesting described by Kinsey’s group in the 1940s and 50s, challenging the concepts of the day. It’s not a disease if the bisexual reactions/thoughts or behaviours could be elicited in the majority of a studied population!
What makes a disease is one of
1) Definition (as previous psychiatric classifications had labelled homosexuality eg DSM I) which was more a reflection of opinion rather than sociological behaviours
2) If a behaviour interferes significantly with the functioning of an individual within their social network.
Unlike biological diagnosis of disease (eg. heart attack, stroke etc), bevavioural classification of disease is a sometimes “moving target” from generation to generation and individual to individual depending on their context.
A link to a summary of the Kinsey Group’s research is found here
Ashley Ng, 6 months ago
http://www.connexions.org/CxLibrary/Docs/CX5017-BisexualIdentity.htm
Ashley Ng, 6 months ago
ps. I actually quite liked Xmen3
Interestingly, the “cure” was revealed in the final scene was only a suppression of the mutant gene, as Magneto was able to knock over the chess piece as the screen cut to black….(telling point!)
ECGardner, 6 months ago
Regardless of your belief system, love is never a bad thing, be it the love for a man, a woman, a dog, a doorknob, whatever… Love enriches the world and brings hope. How could that possibly stand in the way of a relationship with a god of any sort?
Don’t be at war with yourself, Daniel. You are a good person with a good heart, and that’s the one and only battle that matters. Once you can look at yourself and know that your heart is true, the war is won.
Love whomever you want to love and you will make the world a better place in the process. After all, isn’t that what Jesus was all about anyway? Inspiring others to love and make the world better for all?
macmichael, 6 months ago
He Daniel,
With your strong believe in God, I think it is not God that’s fighting you. Not the people that oppose of your sexual prefrence. You truly are at war with yourself.
If God made you who you are, he’ll be fine with you.
I hope you will find a way to be fine with you as well. To let go and accept who you are and what you are. For you know there is no evil in you, so how could that stand between you and God. What if he made you this way to make a point?
And to answer your question: no, I wouldn’t want to change my sexual prefrence if I could. I wouldn’t take the pil if it would ‘cure’ me. Because I am very comfortable with who I am. With what I am. I don’t believe in God, but if there is one, I m sure he has other things to worry about then me not being in the vagina-business.
ByrneFoto, 6 months ago
Hi Daniel, I can’t speak from the gay side of things but I can speak from the side of being cursed with an affliction and also being a Christian. My curse is bipolar and I have to say if some one offered me a cure and a chance to be a normal functioning member of society without having to hide it or constantly torture myself over who I can or cannot be, I’d gladly take it (incidentally meds are not a cure, they are a bandaid). My illness conflicts with my faith greatly, but my illness is the reason I turned to God. I know that He understands where humanity doesn’t. My friends don’t understand me, my family don’t, even my Christian friends and other bipolar friends don’t, I don’t understand me either but God does. He knows the difference between what is really in my heart and what is just my illness causing me to torment myself. I have days where I just meltdown because I just cannot possibly do what Gods asks of me and it racks me with guilt, but then I have to remind myself that God made me who I am. He doesn’t expect me to be perfect because He knows I cannot be perfect. Only Christ could be perfect and all I can do is follow in His steps the best way I can with the tools I’ve been given. I believe that is all the Lord wants from any of us. God loves you for who you are my brother, gay, straight, bipolar, “normal”, cursed or un-cursed makes no difference. In His eyes we are all His precious children. Sometimes we need to stop analyzing and over complicating our own matters and remind ourselves of that one simple point. I know I do.
Norman Tedder, 6 months ago
I personally know people who were gay and have been completely transformed by the awesome power of the grace of Jesus Christ and are living completely free and married with Children. The grace of God empowers us to say no to Ungodliness as the Bible says. Fill your heart with Love for God and all those worldly, fleshly desires will become dim in the light of his glorious grace. The Bible says we are no longer slaves to sin and says that we are new creations in Christ. The power of sin was broken at the cross, Jesus has given you everything you need to overcome. It also says that He who is in you is stronger than He who is of the world. The Holy spirit living in you is stronger than your flesh, the two are constantly in conflict with each other. The choice now comes down to you in which of these you feed. Will you feed your spirit with Godly fellowship, and his word allowing his word to wash you and transform you or will you feed these desires the choice is up to you, the consequences of each of these I think you know. Dont be mistaken God hates Homosexuality but he loves you and wants to set you free from its demonic grip, because you are being robbed of the awesome inheritance that he has for you, which includes righteousness, a loving family and Children amongst other things. You need to find a loving caring church where you can be counselled by loving caring people that will walk you into the freedom of the grace Christ.
Estelle O'Brien, 6 months ago
Hi Daniel,
I have written to you before and I would like to add that I agree with what Norman says above. You are torturing yourself with your questions and your focus on sexuality, you are not resting in the “peace of God which passes all understanding”. It doesn’t matter what kind of sin we have in our lives..and we all have some…the answer is to become closer to our Lord in order for His likeness to be developed in us. Try to stop focussing on this one aspect of your life…get into a loving church where you can have counsel and support…and allows the Holy Spirit to do His work in you. The Bible says you will be transformed, day by day, into the glorious image of God’s Son.
You will always gravitate to where your focus is. So change your focus and stop torturing your mind…the peace of God can be yours….He knows the begining from the end and He has promised to complete that which He began in you.
Of course you can never be good enough for God. Neither can I. Neither can anyone else on this planet. “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God”. Thats why we need Jesus – He was the only sinless one. And He has made atonement for our sin-the price is already paid. You don’t have to pay it again. All you have to do is believe with your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord and that He died for your sins and rose again and is seated at the right hand of His Father making intercession for us all. You just have to put yourself in a position where you begin to really trust God to help you see things clearly.
I am praying for you little brother.
Robert Knapman, 6 months ago
Hi Dan.
Well I really feel like I want to to say something but I’m not sure what that is. I certainly don’t want to come anywhere near telling you waht to do or how you should do it.
I can share however that in all the years I have spent on this planet I have noted endless belief systems, whether social, religious, spiritual, cultural, natural etc. These also I have noticed are never stagnant, they change over time and continue to evolve.
With this in mind, what I have found very usefull is to believe in my own truth, my own reality – one that makes sense to me now and today. Last week we were told we were sick and yesterday that disease was visited upon the earth because of us. Today, in certain parts of the world we are responsible for the moral corruption of society, while in the west we are gaining human rights more and more. Tomorrow we may even be celebrated and understood to be leaders and prophets. Point being that if I was born even 50 years ago society and christianity would have had a different opinion and treatment of me than today – and what’s 50 years in the eyes of god. Therefore how can I live one way and struggle against my sexuality (which by the way should not be interpreted as having anything to do with same sex, rather a universally legitimate sexuality) because on the 9.4.2008 I have learnt and been told that it is a sin. It is not a crime in most developed countries either.
I believe what you are struggeling with is the ways of man and not the ways of god at all. God is eternal and universal. It might be helpful to separate out what you have been told, learnt and internalised and what is your own personal truth. I suspect your truth is more likely to also be the way of God. So here I am suggesting to you what to do when I said I wouldn’t. But then again I don’t quite know why you would ask when the thoughts of non christians would be so easy to discount. owever I do understand the church and christianity quite well having grown up in it and chosen chrstian paths at a certain time of my life. Hell I even smuggled bibles into China once in the early 80’s…lol.
So maybe I should focus on your question of change. I’d not change one ioto given the chance. This is not an illness like bipola and should not be seen as a curse at all. Also to be offered a cure implies you are sick. I know I am not sick – in fact I have never felt healthier and happier. I see my sexuality if you like as a blessing. My homosexuality has given me riches, given me such an exraordinary humanity and compassion and given me the kind of life that I am really grateful for. It has shown me that prescription is an illness, a fear and such a debilitating expectation that makes me really wonder who ‘sick’ people really are. In the world of man/woman, being an outsider has been a priveledge and I would never give this up to live in someone elses truth (which by all accounts will be different tomorrow and where the hell will I be then)?
scrphotography, 4 months ago
“You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.” Lev 20:13
“If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act.” 1 Cor 6:9 “