DLKeur

I can guide, but I cannot make.

I get involved in a lot of projects with a lot of different people who request…and pay for…my help to launch their careers, their lives, their websites, their projects, their businesses. I get requests to help reorganize and to salvage business ventures, and I’m very good at it. However, there is a sticking point, and that sticking point is this: I can give them tools, I can give them how-to, I can show them methods, I can analyze and outline successful methods to streamline their operations and increase productivity. I can guide — point the way, give them a roadmap… — but what I can’t do is make them do it.

I cannot force someone or many someones to do, rather than to remain idle. I cannot change their habits. I cannot maintain their motivation for them. And I cannot make them a success despite themselves. ...Well, I can, but I won’t.

I have “made” people, businesses, projects, building them up to high levels of success, but the minute I turn the project loose, guess what happens? It dives to its old levels of “muddle.” I stopped doing that years ago, though. Now, they pay me money, I show them, set it up, prove it, then allow them to make the difference. And most don’t. They just don’t have that spark inside them to “make it happen.” It’s very sad.

There is a sculptress I know. Her work is, in a word, phenomenal. Yet, she cannot…will not pursue success, even though success is, for all intents and purposes, in her hand. She has the contract; she won’t sign with the very big company who has offered her a very lucrative deal for her work. Why? Lack of faith? Maybe. Fear? Yes. More so, though, she absolutely does not want to commit herself to herself. She doesn’t want to believe in herself, and, in essence, sign a contract with herself that mandates self-motivated discipline.

Just musings this morning because I’ve made a decision to drop a client.

  • vonne

    vonne, 8 months ago

    Thats really a shame All that hard work on both sides, only to let it fall to the wayside. Im sorry Dawn It must be very hard to say the least = (

  • DLKeur

    DLKeur, 8 months ago

    Thanks, vonne. It is very hard. The delight I feel with this woman’s work, the desire to share her wonderful humor with the world. I always wind up personally believing in someone and/or their work…even when they really don’t and won’t believe in themselves. I really should be icier, but I just don’t work that way. So, yes, it then becomes a sorrow when they “won’t.”

  • vonne

    vonne, 8 months ago

    I Understand completely! Im the same way. All you can do is lead them to water and pray they have the sense God gave them to drink sometimes. I see that in life in general. Make me crazy sometimes lol.

  • DLKeur

    DLKeur, 8 months ago

    I cannot figure out why they go so far, only to balk at grabbing the golden ring!!!

  • velveteagle

    velveteagle, 8 months ago

    I see talent go to waste also Dawn. I have worked in the corrections field for over 30 years at the Sheriff’s Department. I have seen people locked up for life who could be very successful people with there art or creative brains. But I fear that a talent for one side of the brain does not mean they wish to deal with the job of dealing other human beings. Values etc.. Do not let your heart be in pain too long. We are given the blessing of Choice in this world. Right Choices more Choices.. Wrong ones lead to less.. There are many who only need direction and a chance. Look for those..

  • DLKeur

    DLKeur, 8 months ago

    Good words, velveteagle. Problem, they find ME, we go through what amounts to an interrogation by me, they PAY me, then, when they get “their big chance,” after lots of hard work on all our parts, they…..........................................!

  • velveteagle

    velveteagle, 8 months ago

    I guess its a person afraid of hard work.. Low self esteem. And little or no tangible thoughts of any realistic goals.. I also would say they would starve in a work for bread world.. or eat bland foods.. too bad really.. They need constant support .. because it does not come strong from inside them..

  • DLKeur

    DLKeur, 8 months ago

    You, in this case, this woman works VERY hard, but she does have issues. And she’s dirt poor, and here she got handed a millon-dollar opportunity with royalties on top of that!! I’ve given her over thirty days to reconsider, because the deadline for signing is coming up, but, you know, she’s even refusing my phone calls now.

  • DLKeur

    DLKeur, 8 months ago

    Unfortunately, I feel HORRIBLE because I will NOT refund her money, and she IS very poor, but, by heavens, you know, it isn’t as though I didn’t earn it and I only charged her half what I normally do.

  • velveteagle

    velveteagle, 8 months ago

    Either fear or she thinks she can do better on her own without paying anyone else.. too bad if she is dealing with fear.. that is the mind killer..

  • DLKeur

    DLKeur, 8 months ago

    Actually, she shakes in public. But she’ll stand up at a podium for a cause, go figure. Anyway, it’s over. I composed a letter already. It’s a done deal. But I know for a fact that, since this company ships worldwide and is carried by every big gift store and department store chain in the country, she just shot herself in the foot bigtime.

  • brummieboy

    brummieboy, 8 months ago

    Silly lady … she should have leant on you and let you guide her through the problems …

  • DLKeur

    DLKeur, 8 months ago

    She’s not the only one to get cold feet when, suddenly faced with the prospect of producing work for a contract, they start sweating. The thing that is at issue for me is, why hire somebody to get you into a position where you have opportunity, only to drop the ball? It utterly makes no sense. Rationally it doesn’t. Psychologically, yes, I understand their fears of suddenly going “dry” of ideas or losing their inspiration or failing to produce something brilliant, but, by gawd, if you don’t try, if you don’t raise your sails to the wind, you are never, ever going to fly. And she has such talent.

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DLKeur

Written by:

DLKeur
November 18, 2007

Tags:

doing, motivation and success