I sleep with restless thoughts in bed
And keep heart-wrought dreams in my head.

I wake up to dreams of us.
The wheels spin in my mind like a bus.
I think back to times of a unified heartbeat
But sink back into the backseat—
The one she always had prepared for me.
She steered away from being meant to be.
She was always the driver in control
Who stole possession of my soul.
She “knew”, but sped too fast in engaging a date;
I never had a clue I’d lead her down a path to decelerate.
She stopped at the 2-way intersection
And dropped me off so each of us could go a different direction.
Her heart was a feather, dropping and drifting from me without clear visible remorse
When she said we shouldn’t be together and veered off-course.
We keep the windows closed from each other; never let the other one see
How sad we each are to have to be with another realizing we were never meant to be.

I sleep with recurring restless thoughts in bed
And keep stirring heart-wrought dreams in my head.

I wake up to these dreams
With a heart split at the seams
Helplessly trying to compose a face of stone—
Lying to myself as I pose a face of silent tears for a picture I can only take alone.
I dream of how I huddled up next to her when I was scared—
Of how I woke up cuddled next to someone I thought who cared.
She stayed because she saw the sincere purities
In the imperfections of my insecurities.
For that, she admitted I’ve been the only real man she’s ever met…
Before she committed to leaving and ran away with the speed of a turbo jet.
We keep the windows closed from each other; never let the other one see
How scared we each are to have to be with another realizing we were never meant to be.

I sleep with these recurring restless thoughts in bed
And keep these stirring heart-wrought nightmares in my head.

Russ Clement