Had enough.
Cant keep it in…
Its too much today
The darkness wins…
I try to forgive
Attempt to forget,
Focus on living,
But my minds a wreck.
My head is damaged,
It dont work right anymore.
Thought process is tainted,
Straight to the core.
I hate you…
And I hate that so,
To hate any other,
Friend or foe…
Is so not who i am,
And what is inside.
But you ruined that,
When you made me die…
So many times,
So many ways,
To you tho…
Was it all just a game…
I was just a child,
Couldnt you see…
I wasn’t the thing you made me to be.
And now all is twisted,
You still win every day.
Can’t banish you from memory,
Can’t wipe that crap away…
Why did you do it all,
Why couldnt you be…
All that you promised you would be for me.
Why did you introduce me to that scene…
That remained to be my home even when I thought I was free…
You couldnt understand why I left the way I did,
So you sent out your posse with their guns…
You tried to extinguish all that was me,
Do you have any idea what you’ve done…
The very day you were released you came for me,
Was it all just for fun…
If you couldnt have me then no one would,
Is that how it worked in your mind,
Forever yours… forever mine…
Til death do we part…
You took me places I should never of known,
You showed me pleasure that made my mind blow,
You made me depend on your every step,
You made me lose my self respect,
And you wonder why I left…
The pleasure you supplied couldn’t make up for the pain,
Didn’t mend my mind from all your head games,
Didn’t mean a thing when you’d betray me time again…
Couldn’t hide the bruises that were both faded and fresh,
Couldn’t change the image in the mirror to the left…
I thought it did,
Thats why I stayed…
As long I as I could…
Thru all those crazy days…
You wanted to marry me,
So I became your bride,
In this life you had carved,
Full of crime, drugs and pride…
But it didnt suffice thru your time inside…
I’m sorry for you that I opened my eyes.
I couldnt go on,
I couldnt survive,
You had destroyed me to a point,
But not quite enough…
And I Hate You,
Because I loved you still…
Even when I left…
Even when you had that gun pointed at my head.
That love died soon after…as the years would go by,
And I’d realise just how much damage you’d done to my life…
You twisted it all,
My minds just a mess,
So hard to trust in others now,
My heart has healed but not so well…
You still win all these years on…
You still contaminate me with your toxic song.
And I Hate You.
Tho I try not to loathe what you are,
But you fucked me up bad…
You made me half mad…
Why I feel guilty for this I cant grasp,
Why cant I hate you and feel that its just…
when I know that it is…