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when that dark part takes hold of my mind

I cant remember where we were…Block of flats…apartments maybe… the window looked out onto a big yard, I could see other windows…balconies running across like in motels …
My man is playin with our daughter, they are laughing… out in the yard, and he comes in, says our girl is still out in the yard playing because she’s having so much fun…
There’s wierd stuff goin on, people are everywhere…dodgy happenings, drugs everywhere, bags and bowls of powders and weed…I can see it all in the various places around the room…
An older lady drapes her arm around me…her overly made up face looked comical…She was speaking to me, but I couldnt understand her.

Flash forward and I’m in a room 3 stories up, I seem to be alone…I dont know who’s room this is…why am I here? I cant remember how I even got here … I dont think I was meant to be in there…I try to figure a way out and wander toward the huge windows…
I jump back real quick…
There is a huge fkn panther out there, stalking around the yard…
I can see it down there…its black fur glinting in the light….muscles were bulging and those teeth…I swear they resembled more a sabertooth grin than an ordinary panther…this was no ordinary panther…
My hearts pounding…I hope it didnt see me…Did it see me?
I quickly sneak another look out the window to see where it had gone…
And regret it…
The thing is on the balcony…We’re 3 stories up, how’d it get up here so quick?
I hide behind the door, so thankful I’m so little, easy to hide…buit I cant resist another look…
There it is…standing by the window….staring in…growling lowly…looking for me…It must of seen me…Why would that thing be loooking for me?
I was so overcome witrh complete fear…this thing was huge…Its eyes were glowing unearthly…it was pure evil…was no ordinary panther no…In an instant it was gone….its breath still foggy on the glass.. but no sign of it.
And I breathed.
And thats when it hit me…
My daughter was out there….
Somehow in the confusion I thought she was with her father….
But she was out there…
…with that thing…
The most sickening feeling I’d ever known washed over me…I wasnt even aware fully that I was running, down all these stairs running to get to her…
At first I couldnt see her…
All I could see were shapes…
But then I did see her…
her limp form…
Face down in the grass…her dress ripped…torn off remnants strewn around her stillness… the ground was stained red…
I was screaming, running toward her… picking her up…
she went limp in my arms…wounds fresh…her eyes wouldnt look at me…they wouldnt open…I tried to get them to open…my little girl..my baby…
why her….why her
I’m so sorry i kept crying it….pleading her to wake up…look at me….cry… anything i just needed her to wake up.

And my man wasnt there….I couldnt find him…I screamed out for him to come…
I lay her down, so gently, and start to check her over… were her wounds mortal…was she alive…
A wierd lookin bug appears from her dress and jumps off her, and it freaks me, and i chase it and squish it…but it doesnt die…it breaks into these layers and , top, middle, lower….all different colours, black, brown and white….they resemble aliens or somethin strange….gross looking and they’re growing bigger by the second, right in front of me so I grab a can of acid (seemed completely normal that there was an aerosole can of acid handy, I never questioned that) and run after the giant bugs…
They are talking at me…taunting…telling me that the bugs will take over the world, that the humans were all too stupid to fight, too weak, and they’ll win….. laughing…

Flash forward
we’re in another room…I’m standing in the doorway and the bug is ontop of a wardrobe accross the room….it jumps out at me….pouncing, fangs dripping in anticipation of the kill….and I sprayed it with the acid can.
A big stream of green acid hits it square in the face and it lets out a horrendous scream….bubbling white foamy stuff oozes out of its wound, falling to the ground…. and all this happened in an instant tho it was all in slow motion….
I’m running back to the room where my daughter is, and i’m there, holding her, crying out to her but she still wont wake up…

Flash forward…
I’m with my man again…I dont recognise where we are…I’m talking rapidly, hysterically…telling him about the alien bugs and the panther…I keep getting interupted by people tho, crowded in into the room, they keep telling me it was a tiger…tiger tiger… they wont stop interupting me….talking amongst themselves “it was a tiger…she doesnt understand”…My man is looking down at me like I’m crazy and I yell out “the thing attacked our baby” I kept yelling…“It got her aren’t you listening…”
we are running thru all these passages.doors closed…some open…curtain doors are blowing fiercely in the wind, trying to block our way…but they’re curtains…we just go thru them…
“where is she” I can hear him crying out to me…He looks scared
Found the room she was in…how fkn big was this place…I kept getting lost…I swear this wasnt the room but there she is… on the floor…( i never would of left her on the floor like that…)
He was sobbing uncontrollably, My man, her father…rocking her back and forth, cradling her…the most heartbreaking sound came from him, i could feel it fill the room…
He peeled back her torn bloodstained dress…I could see he was preparing himself for a sight no one could prepare themselves for…
There were no marks…
No wounds, no scratches…her belly, her face…she was ok! She was unharmed!
Was I going crazy? I had seen her injuries…I had held her limp form…
My heart sinks as he cries out. He has turned her over…and her side is all scratched up…deep cuts…its awful to look at…she must be in so much pain…but she lays so still…
She wont wake up… but He keeps telling me she’s breathing, he can see her breathing…
There are those people again, crowded into the room… their mindless chatter getting louder as they walked aimlessly around the place…We’re telling them to get out of our way, they are blocking our access to the door…“Please move out of the way…our daughter was attacked by the panther (tiger they argue) please move out of the way We need to get her to a hospital….”
but they didnt get it…they wouldnt move out of our way…it was like we were speaking a unknown language…

Flash Back
My little girl is layin face down on the grass again…We’re outside…everything is really still….there is no breeze…remnants of her torn dress lay scattered around her…I see the panther coming toward us…I want to run but my daughter needs me…I whisper her name but she wont open her eyes…I can see she’s still breathing barely and I pick her up so carefully so I dont hurt her and she’s so heavy…and its getting harder to see thru all the tears streaming out.

Flash forward again…
I wake up all panicked…I’m at home…in bed…
My man turns to me and says “are you okay?”
“I had an awful dream” I blurted out “Our girl was hurt so bad by a panther…”
He looks so sad…shoulders slumped, eyes downcast…“It wasnt a dream” he whispers…
I felt the whole world cave in…the pain just swallowed me whole…
I jump up and run to her room…and she’s in her bed, laying still….she hadnt woken since the attack he tells me…her arm and torso are bandaged up and she has fresh clothes on…but she stll wont wake…
I broke down, sobbing " I thought it was just a dream…"
“no…it really happened…it wasnt your fault…”

Flash back.
No…no, I’m in that yard again…there’s my daughter on the ground again….but the wind is howling, blowing leaves and litter around the yard…I pick her up and hold her close…her hair is blowing in the wind…framing her pale face…I can feel a thousand eyes on us…I can hear footsteps getting closer…

Flash forward…what is going on with time…
I’m telling my man there’s been an accident…an attack….and she is in his arms and there are giant bugs crawling over the walls surrounding us….their eyes glowing menacingly…what do they want…
I pick up a chair and fling it at the window, glass smashes everywhere and we run thru it out onto a lawn…I’m barefoot i realise as i feel the wet grass beneath me…it has started to rain…
He thrusts our girl into my arms and turns back, yelling out to me to go on…that he’ll catch up… I look back and the bugs are surrounding him…but he is not how i remember…he’s dressed in some sort of medievil threads…and he has a sword? I look up and see we’ve emerged from the ruins of an ancient castle…there are horses galloping past me!
“Come on” he is yelling to me, outstretched hand…he’s covered in blood…is it his?
We are running, across a field…I nearly fall on my face as my arm is pulled back to a stop….there is the panther up ahead
(“Tiger” someone corrects….what the? Who was that?)
My man steps in front of us protectively…he seems so natural with the sword…I wonder where he’s learnt that from…
I look into the panthers eyes.
And I’m back in that room again…3 stories up…the room I dont know who belongs to…the room where I first saw the panther…
And there it is…outside the window, peering in, looking for me…I’m behind a wall…If i look to the right of me I’ll see his breath hissing on the window pane…
I look around me…I dont recognise any of this stuff…. but there’s the door, right in plain view of the window…
My girls down there…I have to get her….
I dash across to the door, barely clearing it as I hear glass breaking and wood splintering….the thing had seen me…it was after me…
I’m in the yard again…but its full of plants….their green leaves glow luminously against the nighttime sky…hey it was night…where’s my girl?
I cant see her anywhere….I can hear her crying out to me…mumma mumma…its breaking my heart…where is she…
Her face…her smiling…I can hear her laughing…my little angel….
I cant find her anywhere…I’m running thru all these leaves…calling her name….
Why cant I find her…

when that dark part takes hold of my mind

dimarie

Joined December 2007

  • Artist
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Artist's Description

This is a bad dream i had the other week…I wrote it down on suggestion that it might help….
all grammar etc has been ignored because thats how my dream was and I dont feel like taking artistic licence with it just yet….

All writing images poetry and lyrics copyright dimarie painter
MCN: CF8D7-E8F5D-4BAD5

Artwork Comments

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