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Casualty of Depression

Your eyes have lost their lustre,
Your smile I see no more,
Your lack passion for all around you,
Your depression is eating my soul…
Your tainting my world with your bitter touch,
Your bringing me down to your way,
You smother me in your darkness,
And there is no fucking escape…
You resist all of my efforts,
To bring a smile to your lips,
You hold back from affection,
You withdraw from all of this…
You shrink back from the light,
Ready to fight,
Oh What a sight,
Your so twisted in your despair,
You cant see how much we care,
And how much it hurts us so,
The damage you wreak,
The pain you seek,
All because your low,
Deep in your depression,
Deep in your despair,
Your melancholy anger,
Can give off quite a scare…
And then you speak of suicide,
Of wanting it all to end…
And all I can do is be there,
Try and be a good friend.
But your killing me,
With all your hate,
With all this loathing of life so great…
Its taking its toll,
Leaving a hole,
Chipping away at my defences from fate.
And I could be you,
And you could be me,
What would you offer then,
To make it all sweet…
Understanding your pain,
Is drivin me insane,
Why cant I fix it and make you whole again..
Why cant we win in this awful game…
I try to bring you light and hope each day,
but you continue to turn me away,
I’m just not sure how much more I can take….
But all this I wont tell,
Wont burden your brow,
Will keep it inside where it cant damage your plight,
To emerge from your darkness into the light…
Where you are so missed,
And cared for and loved,
But you refuse to see us,
Thru your cloud of self doubt…
And all of your hatred and anger misplaced,
Threatens to tear down the walls in this place,
Threatens to destroy all of us who you love,
But you just do not see it…
What you’re doing to us,
And sooner or later if this goes on how it is,
We’ll have to let go…
And you’ll be on your own…
But you always be loved and you’ll always be missed,
please for our sake dont let it come to this…
I can no longer tell,
If I have the strength,
to get us all thru this,
up to the end…

Casualty of Depression

dimarie

Joined December 2007

  • Artist
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  • Artwork Comments 54

Artist's Description

All writing images poetry and lyrics copyright dimarie painter
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Some people who are very dear to me are goin thru the depths of depression…
as much as I will be there for them, and do all i can…
sometimes i feel i am a bit of a casualty of their despair…
my own feelings and pain and issues are pushed aside, kept hidden, so as to give them what they need….
I cant be there if i’m focusing on my own issues…
but sometimes it all gets a bit much
but we will get thru it
no matter how long it takes…

edited to add….
I understand depression, and its power…
those of you who know me, will knhow of my own depression that I have had since i was a child…and my utter contempt for my own depression, and denial and defiance of it that i go thru daily to the point where quite often i can come across as quite positive…full of life.
Its usually an act…to a degree….
no words i speak are lies, i mean all of what i say, i see the good in all things, and its thru this that i have been chewed up and spat out too many times to count
and i have forgiven some of those who did wrong onto me
but others i havnt been able to…
this despair of my own, is always brimming just under the surface
always there waiting for me to get knocked down even slightly so it can consume me…
and so it does sometimes
but then the highs of life will kick in and i feel so great and truly positive and i have love and smiles for everything….
nothing is really that bad….
not lack of funds or food…
or peoples shitty moods
or dealing with all the past…
but it doesnt last
its never strong enough to coax my loved ones out of their own despair
and at times i have to leave
breathe
because their despair is contaminating my happy delusions… it threatens…no it does…take the sweetness out…..
and they see it…they see me breaking…
and it kills them
and that kills me
and its such a bit if a twisted mess
But i am resolved to be there for them
be there to the end

Artwork Comments

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