Spells, Voices and the Eternal Debate

“People suck
And they’re never who they seem,
Long ago you’d think I’d have learnt that, you see.
People are rude and selfish and lie,
People are two faced, devious and wry.
Everyone has the leading role in the movie in their head,
While all the others are merely cast…
cast aside when their use is met.
People are scum
And they’ll eat you all up,
Sociopathic vampires
Preying on the love.
People are cruel, insensitive and fucked,
Nevermind the headgames, you know your time is up.
With your heart they will play, and claim affection today,
And on the morrow they’ll change their tune,
And you’ll feel the ostracism soon.
Use you as a puppet for their own twisted glee,
People suck, why cant you see.”

And this was spoken in a tone hissed at length,
By an inner dark voice hidden in the depths.
Sick of sittin back and lettin this heart ache,
She said no more of this heartbreak do I take.

And with a shake of her head, she looked to me and said
“Do not trust them all my girl,
Keep your heart to yourself.
There is too much deceit in this world,
And not much I can do to help.
So heed my words real careful girl,
For amongst the wolves you are but a lamb.
And in this venture you will get hurt.
You have to understand
The very nature of man”

A new voice utters from the depths,
“And what if on this fear of pain and rejection of the soul,
Results in nothing more than lonliness untold”
A voice of reason? Of fact based thought
No, Reason died and left a void…
This, the voice of hope is heard,
Who had felt the joy and was now disturbed.

“Do not hide your soul in fear,
They’re not all wolves at all my dear”

I’m not convinced
I’m confused as hell
How does one break free from these spells…

“You give yourself away too much”
The voice of despair cries,
“And in this trip you’ll come out last”
Voice of defeat by their side,
“You never know it could be good”
Where this one’s from i cant be sure,
Its rather small and quickly muted by all the others roar.

“Dont be a fool.
People are cruel,
You’re unfortunately too damaged to take another fall”
What is this voice,
What is its agenda…
Why cannot it allow me thoughts of surrender,
Surrender to the risk,
Surrender to the spell,
Without the fear of possibly,
Having my heart quelled.

Then a little light
sparked within the corners of my mind,
A flicker of a notion that my hurtin days were gone.
With glass half full and a smile upon her lips,
The voice was inspired and said somethin like this-

“People can be kind,
And some are who they claim to be.
People are fragile, and some like to retain some mystery.
Everyone has the leading role in the movie in their head,
But not all ‘stars’ will cast aside the others on the set.
People are so precious, so full of life.
And all have their own demons to contend with in their lives.
Genuine hearts,
Looking to connect.
There are those who are worth your time,
And the effort that you spend.
Some people can be trusted,
With your heart and soul and song…
Not all of them will fuck you over once a better offer comes along.
These People are gems you’ll find amongst the rough.
But recognising them from the rest,
is the trick you will find tough”

How do I know,
How can I tell.
Which is genuine,
Which is a spell.

No answers now,
Only silence in the air.
The voices have gone quiet,
But I do not really care.

They receede to the depths,
Of this fragmented mind.
Waiting for the opportune moment to arise.
I continue on my way,
And think about my life.
Pondering the mysteries,
And the questions,
The strife.

Currently unavailable for purchase


Spells, Voices and the Eternal Debate by 


All writing images poetry and lyrics copyright dimarie painter
MCN: C1270-1247B-C943B

Tags

consciousness, dimarie, poetry, rambling, ranting, thought, thoughts, turmoil, voice, voices

My name is dimarie,
My art enterprise is called ‘dimarie designs’ and I’m also the artist behind Darkened Mystery Artworks

  • © All images are copyright jo dimarie Painter
    © Jo dimarie Cardy
    All Rights Reserved.*

I’m an artist, a poet, a proud mumma, a hopeless romantic, an optimistic pessimist, a piscean, a writer, a lover of all things deep and beautiful.
I’m just a creative soul…

View Full Profile

Comments

  • Mark Ramstead
    Mark Ramsteadover 6 years ago

    Even wolves can fall in love; this is your hope. It must be said “lone wolves” attract more than their fair share of attention from the opposite sex. Do you seek the “mutt”? You take him for granted and desire the wolf, with the expected consequences.

  • Love, I have my love, we found each other years ago…He is the most precious soul to me on earth along with my daughter…
    This, this is about the rest of the world, and where those souls that make up the rest of the world fall into.
    The eternal inner debate of trust and how much one should give of themselves to those that are not their soul mate.
    Many wolves wear the clothing of sheep…
    And many of them wear their deceitfullness very well hidden.
    But genuine hearts do exist, That notion I’ll forever believe, I’ve been lucky enough to know them, and hold them close to me…
    But the inner debate remains, how does one truly know the true colours of a ‘friend’.
    How much should one give
    And when will the inner voices agree?

    – dimarie

  • wanted to add that my love is, always has been, a wolf of sorts…
    one could never call him a mutt lol
    Was one of the things that drew me to him,
    his fierce passion and wild nature, and freedom and the refusal to take any shit layin down…
    but I am his queen and he treats me so :)

    – dimarie

  • Mark Ramstead
    Mark Ramsteadover 6 years ago

    Like I said, Wolves can fall in love. With a woman like you they should.

  • aw, Thankyou Mark!
    you’re very sweet!
    He did indeed!
    Tho he is a complex wolf…an honest wolf…intelligent wolf..
    He is wiser with who he trusts than i am :)
    because He can see things from that point of view so much better than me. I am too soft. :)

    – dimarie

  • I seem to be stuck on your wolf analogy…
    see what happens when you strike a chord…
    :) :) :)

    – dimarie

  • Harri
    Harriover 6 years ago

    So true, so true. Wolves are all around us in everything we do in our daily lives. But you have to trust to live or else you just exist. I also agree with MtnMan. Even wolves need to love and can be loved.

  • Yes thats it!
    I live by that…And i get hurt by that lol.
    I can see the good in bad, the bad in good…
    I trust, I love, I do get fucked over, quite often, and I learn (do I?)
    Little by little
    Wolves deserve love, yes, but at what price?
    My wolf will have my love forever
    does my heart have the strength to deal tho, and does it any more room for others, who are not my lovers, but friends… if they reveal themselves to have the wolf nature…

    – dimarie

  • Harri
    Harriover 6 years ago

    I’ve loved a few wolves in my time, trying to see the good in everyone. Wolf or not, they still have some good in each and everyone of them. But I bite too, and I howl at the moon to be heard if one crosses me. Especially in love. But I stuck in there and found not only my mate, but my soul mate. He was there all the time, only I didn’t see. 20 years later we Wed!!!! Talk about do I learn? Yes, but perhaps a slow learner, or maybe the timing just wasn’t right before. X X

  • I hate that about myself actually, the ability to see that sweet vulnerable side of the preyers and the players..
    I have learned to bite! But it is not a natural instict for me, but more one I’ve been forced to learn in order to survive, literally.
    Sometimes we know when to stick it out and give yourself.. despite or inspite of the possibility of getting hurt/betrayed…and a few lucky ones will prosper
    sometimes its a losing battle from the get go tho and I’ve been there too many times!
    Timing is definately an underated part of relationships! with both lovers and friends…
    I’m happy for you that you found your soul mate! If he waited 20 years for you then you’ve got a gem!
    Shane is my soul mate, we have been together for 8 years now, but its the rest of them that get me… me n my big heart…

    – dimarie

  • mychaelalchemy
    mychaelalchemyover 6 years ago

    Was there a time or times you let someone go for no other reason than you were not ready, or, becuase you felt the grass was greener with another. Sometimes, in my own case it is karmic…
    Before I married the second time, between marriages I was leary of settling down even though I loved the concept of marriage and forever with one person….I was engaged 7 times and I let them all go, but one I let go had the kind of love for me I want now, she moved out of state and I didn’t go after her.
    Then, the tide turned. I had someone who played me to find a path to get ahead, it devastated me, then, one after another were shallow, all their concern was money and status. I became embittered. I married someone I didn’t love and who didn’t love me, it was hell. I just wanted to stop the cycle.
    No sooner had my divorce came through someone came along who seemed a perfect match but turned out be psycho, again I was devastated and very near suicidal. Now, I had lovers, playthings..women who behaved like men used to, who would use you and just throw you away…a prevalence that not only I observed. So, I decided to become a hermit then someone else came along and insisted we get together and I was the biggest ass of all, for over a year we spent together and then she left me in the lurch.
    Since, then, now 3 years hence, I returned to my hermit status, isolated and alone, wiser, but even worse off. Aging quickly, losing my so-called “curb appeal” and depression the worse it has ever been, gripping me…now, out of work and running out of money, uh, very soon…I see no future in sight.
    Not just lovers but alot of people I once considered friends, as well as cold employers are like those wolves you speak of. I also never understood that most women are attracted to wolves, dangerous and adventurerous they are, but mistreaters…
    You are fortunate, you found your “wolf” ready to stay with someone, with you…But, wolves seldom change and relationships with them may extend on average, anywhere from 3 months to 3 years.
    Unless the wolf is tamed, but coming from the wild….?

  • One of my ex girlfriends left me because she wasnt ready to admit to her family and our mutual friends that she was gay/bi-sexual… i suppose you could put that down to timing, as much later when she was ready, I wasnt around anymore. When I moved back, much later again, she had moved away… Timing.

    Your woman that got away, the one that moved interstate who loved you, do you know what became of her? Did she want you to go after her? It might still not be too late? You never know what tomorro brings!
    Oh, wolves are females too! Most definately, some of the more cunning wolves are the females! But dont give up! There are genuine chicks too, full of love and light, and probably abit of craziness, as we are all a little crazy!
    I hope you find a solution to your situation! good work is hard to find, where the boss will treat you proper,& the money not ridiculous, so I wish you lots of luck there!
    Not all women are attracted to the player, tho I understand what you mean..My best friend is a really nice guy, would treat a girl like a queen, but constantly gets used and betrayed to the point of hermitising! He finally put himself out there and he met someone nice, tis early days but i have hope for them!
    As for My ‘wolf’…He is my wolf… :)
    We’ve been together for 8 years now, He knows he has my love forever, and I his.. I showed him how much he meant, I showed him beyond a doubt that no other could do for him what i do.
    We have been thru alot, it hasnt been all roses… the trick is to not lose sight that we are all only human, capable of mistakes, and forgiveness, real forgiveness, not token surface shite, in any relationship to stand the test of time, forgiveness will always play a part.
    He was from the wild, and he is not tame, but he is loyal, and loving and would do anything for me! Because he knows I am worth it!
    And i know he is worth it.
    Thanx so much for sharing! I read your poem on your profile page, I loved it, you seem to be an interesting soul!
    Being brutally honest with ourselves is not an easy feat!
    Good on you for being honest! :)
    Dont give up hope! You may find your queen yet!!

    – dimarie

  • Mark Ramstead
    Mark Ramsteadover 6 years ago

    Soft and sweet… :)

  • I cannot help it! :) :) :)
    I try to tap into that dark part of me…
    but she always softens, gives in, tainted by the hope i see in everything.
    How whack, a hopeful depressive, optimistic pessimist…

    – dimarie

  • Harri
    Harriover 6 years ago

    We are the chosen few. Some live their lives and NEVER find that special one. We must hold on to what we cherish, but not too tight that wemay crush the thing we hold so dear.

    They say it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I’m not sure. No one wants to feel the pain that burns so deep, but to have lived and died and never felt that love would be truly sad indeed.

  • I hear ya darlin!
    I must be conscious of not smothering those I love…its hard, because I want every part of them… but I cant destroy that spirit I love. It took years for him to accept my saying I love you to him lol, now he is the one who tells me!
    Loved and lost…Its an awful trick isnt it, that it is thru pain that we find our true nature, our true heart, and without the bad, the good dont shine… without light no darkness without darkness no light.. bloody catch 22 lol!
    I am aware of how lucky I am with my man, Tho i think sometimes that, and having a healthy beautiful clever child, is where my luck runs out… :)

    – dimarie

  • Care
    Careover 6 years ago

    …love how you wrote that …di….. : )
    tis true….the world is full of trickery…people can not be who they seem to be….and you just don’t want to get hurt….again….don’t want to put your hand out…incase it gets slapped….but you have to…or that’s the biggest slap…in the face…from yourself….
    that beautiful writing…was a definate straight to faves…you have a wonderful insight into life… : ) xx

  • Thanx Care sweetie!
    It still needs some ‘polishing’…I am not entirley happy with the flo of it yet…
    I havnt written much these days compared to how much i used to.
    I almost didnt put it here… but then , i feel like that with all my writing!
    Gives so much more away than my art.
    Did you know, that it took me a whole month after signing up here at the bubble to actually have the confidence to put any of me up for the world to see…
    And then it still took time for me to open up to anyone…
    Occasionally I think, what have i done, no longer protected by being off the radar, am now ‘searchable’ lol… am letting people know who i am…
    But I do not regret!
    Because I have found a few souls on this bubble that ‘get’ me.
    and without you (and yes, you!) I wouldnt be as light as i feel.
    You are one of the worthy ones Care! I have no doubts about you! xoxox

    – dimarie

  • Harri
    Harriover 6 years ago

    Keep believing in the magic. Your luck only runs out when you convince yourself it has. You’ve got plenty more commin’ your way. :)

  • mychaelalchemy
    mychaelalchemyover 6 years ago

    the one that got away was a very long time ago now..I hurt her badly…I tried to get in touch with her but to no avail, I heard later she got married, and that’s all I know. Between bitterness and depression and lack of energy I am no longer anyone’s “catch”…I suppose, like Harri just stated…I have convinced myself my luck has run out.
    I haven’t entirely given up hope, but I’m not aggressively looking either…there is someone I adore and have known for several years, but we can’t seem to get it together, she lives in a different state, too….oh, well…your writing triggered my very thoughts on the subject…

desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait