Joined December 2007

My name is dimarie, / My art enterprise is called ‘dimarie designs’ and I’m also the artist behind Darkened Mystery Artworks / * © All...

he just died, shadow, an hour ago now

he was my baby, my kitty cat… only 7 and a half years old.
and someone killed him.
he managed to drag himself home to the back doorstep and thats where we found him shane could hear him crying and we rushed out to find him and i nearly tripped over him he was there on hte doorstep crying. my god he was all mangled up and gurgling. death cries. i’ve owned a lot of pets , and i know that when they make that sound, its all over.
the stupid back porch light isnt working and neither is the stupid laundry light which the back door comes off and it felt like forever that it took us to get a lamp on an extension cord in the room and i just laid down beside him so he could see me and held his head, i couldnt pick him up i couldnt move him he was so hurt and i just told him mummys here mummy loves you abnd then we had the lamp and could see how badly hurt he was and he was spluttering up and gagging and clear liquids coming out of his head and theres no blood tho and i didnt know what to do
so i just did my best to see how bad it was without hurting him and i could feel that it was worse inside than it looked and he was in so much pain i said to him its okay to let go shadow its ok to stop fighting we love yo u so much you dont havve to be inpain you can let go and he did
he did right at that moment
and i’m a fucking mess now.
i just lost one of my babies
my cat and my dog they are my other children they are so part of thef amily and who i am and now he’s gone.
and i’m gonna have to explain it to my daughter in the morning when she tries to find him.
she loves that cat so much, he is one of her bestest friends, every morning without fail she goes to find him calling out kitty cat shadow every day. she loves him how do i explain to a 2yr old that her pet has died

We’re going to bury him in the morning.
this happened at like 10.30 or so.. tho how long it took him to get home, how it happened, who did it.. it looks so suss.. it doesnt look like an animal attack… there arent many to any stray dogs around this area.. was it a car? or a person? did someone do this to my cat.. he looked like he had been tortured for fuHk sake

so yea.. tomorrow first thing we’re going down to mums to bury hm there… we rent htis house, shadow has moved aroiund with us to many houses, and its wrong, it just sits wrong with me to bury him in a rental property… he deserves to be lain to rest with the rest of them…
my mums yard now is virtually a pet cemetary of 30 years of pets…
cats. dogs. chooks, ducks, guinea pigs, rabbits, our python, our many pet rats, and mice, and fish. and our tortouise, and every pet i’ve ever loved is spending their final rest there.
so its only proper that i take him home to my old home and bury him where he’ll be looked after.

and for any of you that are thinking this was just a cat..
seriously if you think that at all dont bother commenting please because i wont have anything nice to say to that.
i was brought up in a virtual zoo and my mum has some whacky ideas on animals souls and how we treat them and so what i beliecve may not be normal but it is pure from the heart and he was part of my family.
he wasnt just a cat.

i’m sorry if that sounds harsh at all but i’m fliping in between crying and anger at the moment, so itr mite well i dont even know what i’m trying to say anymore

Shadow is dead.
RIP my beast, my ninja cat.
he thought he was a ninja i swear
he could ninja fight so well with morticia our staffy…
they were best friends.
she was there looking so worried and scared for him the poor girl.

my ninja cat.
affectionate as all hell, loving and loyal to the very end
forgiving and patient
yet so full of attitude
oh how i loved him
still do
he wasnt meant to be taken from me so early.

ok i’m gonna stop now
or i’ll ramble on thru these mind swings and lose it.

thanx to all of you who know who you are the ones who help me get thru moments like these.

i just wish he was alive and well.


sep 2001 – march 2009

eta – for some reason this journal came up twice, sorry for any confusion

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