Four months ago, I announced I was ‘back’ on RB, only to disappear again shortly after. Those of you who know me, will probably understand why, but in case you don’t, suffice to say that although I continue to fight the ‘Black Dog’ unfortunately, the Black Dog is winning. For a number of reasons, I can’t and won’t (in that order) take anti-depressant medication for it, and so I’m trying to deal with this on my own and it’s very hard work. It results in me turning in on myself, which involves shutting the world out and while this works to a degree, it’s no way to live, it’s not even a way to exist. To this end, I will try once again to ‘come back’ to RB. I only hope my friends here haven’t given up on me altogether. I make no promises that I’ll stick around any longer than I did last time, but I’ll give it my best shot. I don’t see any point being here if all I manage to do is depress everyone, at least with my Journal entries if not my work. I have quite a few new pieces of artwork to show you, if you are interested.
It was good to go through my watchlist and see so many smiling faces. I hope the smiles are contagious.
Vanessa Barklay
Ready and waiting to see more of your incredible art Owen! x :O)
DilettantO
Thanks Vanessa. Very kind of you to respond so quickly. I’ll try and post some later today. Thanks again X
Simon Sherry
I’m not going anywhere mate – welcome back (solidarity from a fellow ‘dog-wrestler’).
DilettantO
Hey Simon. There’s a lot of those black mongrels around isn’t there? Sorry to hear you have one living with you, uninvited as well.
Bryan Freeman
Sorry to leanr about the struggle you are having. I hope you do beat it into submission. I used to find getting out into the National Parks by myself a very healing process. I would find a nice shady spot on a warm day or sunny spot on a cooler day and breathe in all that goodness. I hope you find a way though it into the light soon. Good luck.
DilettantO:
Hi Bryan, that approach can work, but I get anxious if I’m out for more than a couple of hours. I’m not agoraphobic, I just feel unsettled and don’t really know why. Thanks for your kind words.
rightasrain
I opted to stop anti-depressants too, years ago. I hate them with a vengeance, they did nothing but hurt me. Good to see you again Owen. Keep writing, keep painting. I know what it’s like to write something, expose myself, then delete because of that exposure. It’s a strange thing. But people really do want to hear from us. All the best and catch you soon :)
DilettantO:
Hi. I know exactly what you mean. Not only does that stuff screw with my creativity, it just makes me feel worse. So long as I can keep busy, I can usually deal with it, but lately there hasn’t been much work about and if I’m not working on something with a fee attached, I feel guilty for not earning anything, so I do nothing, which just makes me feel worse. Can’t win…X
Warren. A. Wil...
Good Day Mate,
Good to see you on your return, Lets see your new work before you go on “Walk about again”
Take care.
DilettantO:
Hey Warren. Good to hear from you. I’ll try and get some new stuff up soon. I never intend ‘going walkabout’. It just….happens. I came back with the intention of staying, but then, I did last time… Hope all is well with you.
rightasrain
There’ve been quite a few changes since you were here last. Of course there was a big stink up about it but it still went ahead.
DilettantO:
It took me ages to find out how to post a journal entry. I’m not sure if that’s because the site has been changed or my memory … Probably the latter. Should be interesting when I try and post some new work…X
Trish Meyer
Your work is inspirational Owen … hope to see some more soon :)
DilettantO:
Thanks Trish, that’s very kind of you. I just wish it inspired me a bit more! When I have a flat period without any work I find myself wondering if I can still do it. That’s where I am at the moment I’m afraid. X
Trish Meyer
I’m confident your talent is undiminished and the work will flow once you start :)
DilettantO:
Thanks Trish, You’re probably right, but I always get this feeling when I have a ‘flat’ period. I’m starting on something today, so we’ll see…X
Tainia Finlay
Hello dear O,
Wondered where you were and am delighted to see you :) Sometimes its better to voice how you feel, share your feelings with others who care and understand your artistic soul. Good to see you back you have been missed, we will always be here for you no matter where you wander, Tai X
DilettantO:
Thanks Tai,
Never sure how much of it is ‘artistic temperament’ and how much is just plain messed up thinking. I’ll make every attempt to stay on this time. It’s reassuring to know I have so many friends here. Hope you like the 4 pieces I uploaded earlier. I did them a few weeks ago. I have more recent stuff which I’ll post over the coming weeks. X