Darren Stones

By Darren Stones

Singing like a parrot whilst wearing a gold dress in the shower may be the road to super-stardom for zany RedBubble member, Jo O’Brien.

DS. Is that your real hair colour?

JO’B. Yes, it absolutely is. When I was in Year 9 (and I had coloured my hair to death), I shaved it all off No. 1 style and started to grow it all back. Since then, I have learned to leave my hair alone.

DS. What shampoo do you use?

JO’B. I get different shampoo all the time based on what is on special (oh the bargain hunter emerges!) At the moment it’s… um…. a purple bottle of some variety.

DS. Does your bathroom have an IXL Tastic 3-In-1 light?

JO’B. No. I jump out shivering in the cold air. I don’t even have a heater in my bathroom. It’s getting a bit desperate.

DS. Do you wash the dishes in the shower?

JO’B. I have occasionally washed my coffee cup in there when the kitchen sink looked like a five-armed monster. I was too scared of what I might find in there if I started moving dishes to make room. But not as a regular thing. I should probably start doing this as a water saving effort.

DS. Are you a ‘Wally with water’, or do you shower in less than three minutes?

JO’B. I’m generally good, but you may have noticed I have a hell of a lot of hair so occasionally I slip up. I do also have a tendency to have baths, because they are so relaxing and I’m a work-a-holic stress head.

DS. Does your bathroom sink tap drip at a rate of one litre per hour?

JO’B. Thankfully no, I turn it off nice and tight. Dripping taps drive me insane.

DS. Does your bathroom window sill have 12 bottles of perfume on it?

JO’B. I have two bottles of perfume, one inherited and one was a present. I love perfume, but it’s not the kind of thing I’d go out and buy myself. Actually, my window sill has nothing on it at the moment – I had a party here recently and therefore cleaned up.

DS. Do you think this photograph will catapult you to national stardom?

JO’B. I am certain it will. I’ve already doubled the locks on my house for when the media starts hounding me, and never leave the house without giant celebrity style sunglasses. I’m still working on losing 75% of my body weight though.

DS. Are you a better singer than Australia’s singing budgie Kylie Minogue?

JO’B. I go for more of a ‘parrot’ sound in my singing. Kylie does the ‘budgie’ thing. It’s really like comparing apples to oranges. We’re both good at our chosen style.

DS. Do you watch Big Brother?

JO’B. Yes. Now just pretend you didn’t hear that and move on.