Let's talk about depression and do something about it
G’day folks.
Years ago, I would never have envisaged writing about depression from first-hand experience. Well, I am and I hope by doing so it may prompt others to action.
Last year it was suggested to me by a couple of family members that I see my General Practitioner. It’s good that those close to me could see a change in my health and make that suggestion. Being a bloke who thinks that everything will sort itself out, in this instance it hasn’t. Recently, I made a move and made an appointment with my GP. My situation is still being assessed, however I’m very much looking forward to a healthier me.
I’ve had eight sessions with a psychologist to date and things are going okay. Thankfully, I still have enough marbles floating around inside my cranium to realise that there’s got to be some changes enacted by me to become healthier.
Anyway, enough of me. I’m happy to talk about depression with anyone here, whether it be publicly on this journal or privately via bubblemail. My motivation is to raise awareness and provide information to those who feel they may need advice.
A few things I’d like to mention which may assist:
Australia’s national depression initiative, beyondblue, is an organisation which provides information about depression to consumers, carers and health professionals. A beaut port of call for those thinking of taking that first step for assistance.
www.beyondblue.org.au
There’s an excellent book authored by Dr Sarah Edelman titled: Change your thinking which deals with positive and practical ways to overcome stress, negative emotions and self defeating behaviour. Available for purchase online at Borders. Highly recommended.
www.borders.com.au
It’s Movember. This is where we can all raise awareness about men’s health issues, encourage one another, and help those organisations which can do with support. I’m taking part in the Movember initiative this year, and for the first time in my life I’ll be growing a moustache. As someone who knows first-hand what depression is like, I feel that using my clean shaven face and knowledge can help and inspire others.
If you’d like to support me during Movember, click on my Movember link or graphic to donate or leave a comment. Thanks for reading folks. And fellas, go for it. Good luck.
Darren Stones at Movember – http://au.movember.com/mospace/240833
Share this page with your social network: 
Vicki Ferrari
Go Daz, I am 100% behind you, and good on you for acknowledging that black dog…. and being aware that it is up to you, the person who stares back at you in the mirror, is who is responsible for creating that changes in that person you are looking at, and not expecting someone else to do it for you….
We ultimately become stronger and stronger, and I believe we all learn to like each other a little more, with a lot more respect and admiration, and I think that will ultimately create a better world – one where we take personal responsibility for ourselves….
My apologies if I waffle on, as I do, often, unnecessarily!! But have been there, done that and as I have currently been fighting a bout of blues myself lately, I don’t have the effort to write any more at this time! I am sure you will understand…. :)) Hopefully this is quality, not quantity, healthy burning off and not burning out…... and I am sure there will be so much more to say, at a later date!! I now treat (and talk to myself!) myself as I would talk and treat my best friend….. Hugs to you Daz! :) Go boy, go! :)) Now I am slipping off my soap box before I break my neck!!
:))Vicki :)
Darren Stones replied
Hi Vicki. Thanks very much for your contribution. It’s an interesting ride on the back of the black dog, hey? No wonder I’m a cat lover. :)
Having bottled things up, I wondered how I was going to come to grips with this and do my best turn it into a positive. Writing about it is something I intended, and I suppose the time is right.
We all have good days, and days that are not all that flash, so coping stategies are all important in dealing and overcoming speed humps. I’m going through the early stages, so it’s a whole new learning experience. No doubt those who have been advised have a better grip of things which helps them cope on a daily basis.
Vicki, I think it’s great of you to share your experiences and thoughts. Happy days.
Darren Stones replied
Thanks for your donation, Vicki. Go girl!
Deborah Parkin
I think it is great you have written about this Darren. I too have (and still do but to a lesser extent) live with depression. I found a psychologist to be a great help almost 20 years ago – I know find my photography very therapeutic. I think what is important about this journal is that it is coming from a man .. we still live in a culture (here in UK) where men are not allow to show feelings and therefore we have a high suicide rate amongst young men. Thanks for writing this.
Darren Stones replied
Hi Deborah. Thanks for your support and sharing your personal story.
Yes, I feel the same way regarding photography – I find it therapeutic and an excellent outlet to be creative.
I’m sure there’s plenty of blokes out there who will be hesitant to talk about it. I was one of them. However, they may like to consider seeking professional help as it will be of benefit to them in gaining an understanding of what’s happened to them. From there, it’s positive steps forward.
Cheers.
Tania Rose
The Blues is very common amongst creative people. In fact, it’s the highs and lows that can inspire artistic expression. It’s very real, and developing strategies to combat it’s negative effects can help iron out the bumpy ride. Glad to hear you talking about it, and am sure many others will follow your lead
Darren Stones replied
Hi Tania. Appreciate your thoughts on this issue.
It seems many creative people walk a tightrope, and their brilliant works are part of their life journey.
Developing strategies to cope is something I’m currently being advised about. Gee, I’ve learnt a lot about myself in the last two months, and I continue to do my best each day to create something. Whether it be marketing myself, writing on my website, processing photos, reading magazines and books, going out for a walk by the river, and even going to Maccas for a burger – it’s important to do something positive.
I have gained a great deal of inspiration by watching Brian Egan of Aussie Helpers. He was a dinky-di Aussie bloke who was virtually out for the count. I admire his work as a volunteer. I also admire those who give of their time and skill to assist those who need a helping hand. :)
Strength to you, Tania. Thanks.
jodenecarlyle
I’m sure you would have a good support system behind you Darren. Depression is more common than many would acknowledge. Most workplaces also have good backup assistance for employees who unwittingly get caught up in heavy workloads without realising it until they look in the mirror one morning. It doesn’t matter who you are, depression can bite you on the bum. Keep truckin.
Darren Stones replied
Hi jodenecarlyle.
Yes, there’s a good support team around me, and I’m most grateful to them for being there through the good times and the bumpy times.
People who have depression are all around us. They come from all walks of life. From high-ranking politicians to the person in the office job. From high-profile sportspeople to the local shopkeeper.
We are fortunate to have a heightened awareness of the illness due to the beyondblue organisation, and their printed matter and website are excellent resources. A while ago, I remember sitting in the waiting room of my local doctor and seeing a beyondblue brochure in the information board. I got up out of the chair, walked over to the board and took one. Last week I received a package from beyondblue which contains a video and other information. Some of the other stuff I ordered is out of stock. So, there’s a definite need for information out there.
That’s good to hear that workplaces are assisting their employees, and I trust they can recognise that a heavy workload does play a part in causing stress among some.
Appreciate your contribution, jodenecarlyle. Cheers.
shanghaiwu
I thought you were amazing before and now I know YOU really are.
Darren Stones replied
G’day shanghaiwu. I can’t tap dance, play the guitar or run the 100 metres in 10 seconds yet, so I’ve got a bit of work to do. :)
Have been quietly admiring your promotional work of fellow artists in recent times, so a big ‘well done’ to you for doing amazing things.
Appreciate your support, and thanks for commenting here.
Cheers.
H M Bascom
Back years ago, when Colin Powell spoke about his wife’s depression many people in the USA were putt off. Opinions about depression were (a) it wasn’t a real illness or (b) it was mental illness with a new name and© we don’t talk openly about mental illness. Thanks for this journal Darren. Awareness is the first step. No doubt you helped others with you initiative.
Darren Stones replied
Hi Helen.
I wasn’t aware of Colin Powell’s wife having depression. Talking openly is by far the better option, and already I’ve found people are willing to share their experiences and help. Raising awareness and speaking openly is one way for me to cope. And, it’s also a way for me to pass on the knowledge I’ve gained which will hopefully help others.
Appreciate your comments and support, Helen. Cheers.
marieangel
Well done on this one depression leads to body pain reletionship pain family pain… it cant be seen just felt ..many have it but its a tabu word with many ….go man…well done!!!
Darren Stones replied
Hi Marie.
Yes, we can’t always judge a book by its cover. Somebody may have a happy smiling face as we walk past them, but on the inside they’re suffering. That’s where talking and information definitely helps. I’ve seen blokes go public about their feelings of depression, and I believe it encourages people like me to write and encourage others to seek advice.
Thanks for your support and comments. Great stuff. Cheers.
Amanda McLennan
As a former patient of depression, it’s not scary to be on medication or under care. The most difficult part of depression is the self realisation that you need help and the first trip to the doctors. Please, if you are feeling sad for no reason, overwhelmed without cause or just can’t get your act together, don’t feel as though you are alone. You will never be left to fight this on your own, rely on the support of family, friends and those of us who have been there before.
Darren Stones replied
Hi Amanda.
Self realisation seems to play a big part in seeking advice from professionals. It’s been said to me that most people don’t seek professional assistance, however there’s more media coverage and general discussion highlighting individual cases – and that is what’s needed on a continual basis in my opinion.
Suppose we tend to think depression will just magically go away, but the reality is that for many it doesn’t.
I’m heartened by those who are sharing their personal experiences publicly and privately, and I suppose we’re doing our bit to give mental illness the recognition it deserves.
Thanks for providing your thoughts and advice, Amanda. Cheers.
Beth Wilson
Hey Dazza,
I have a very close male friend who once suffered with depression and I was fascinated to learn the differences between how men and women manifest the illness and how they cope. I had no idea that men often become very angry rather than actually down and teary like women may. My friend said he got angry at the slightest things – the car in front of him not pulling away fast enough at the lights, an add on TV that annoyed him etc. He said he knew the anger was irrational but he still couldn’t stop it. He didn’t even think of depression, but rather wondered what the hell he was so angry for. Statistically, men also self medicate with things like alcohol, gambling and extra marital affairs. This was something else I didn’t know.
His discussion of the matter and my resulting research really taught me something. It is suggested men suffer more as they don’t have the same support network as women. It is much easier for women to talk about their feelings with their friends. It made me wonder, how many men have been labelled as arseholes for their drinking, gambling, indiscretions, etc but in fact where suffering undiagnosed depression. It’s quite a horrifying thought.
All the best to you Dazz. One day at a time and you’ll emerge from the weight. My friend btw, is absolutely fine now, thanks to good counseling and a supportive partner.
Take care!
Darren Stones replied
G’day Beth,
Interesting story you’ve related about your male friend who suffered depression, and thanks for sharing it.
I can recognise that having a face-to-face support network is valuable, and I suppose having like-minded arty people to converse with online is valuable for me, too.
For sure there’s times when we’d like to have better control of our behaviour and emotions, but every so often something triggers some anger and frustration. How we cope is all part of the learning curve, and this is where counselling and information really come to the fore. There’s no point thinking everything will be great when that little black dog just keeps snapping at our ankles.
Thanks for letting me know your friend is better – that’s good to hear. Appreciate your support, Beth. Keep up your good work. Cheers.
Rosalie Dale IPA
My late (second) husband was bipolar. I’m behind you Daz all the way – it seems so much more unacceptable for men to admit to needing help. Bravo for speaking up, and for being your usual proactive self. I too am happy to chat to anyone who is either suffering firsthand, or as a spouse, in a similar situation. xx
Darren Stones replied
Hey Rosalie,
That’s generous of you to offer to chat – well done.
I’m being as proactive as I can given the circumstances, and it’s keeping me going. If it helps someone out there, all well and good. :)
The “she’ll be right mate” attitude is not the answer, and blokes need to realise that. I’ve noticed when guys tell of their experience with depression the reaction is a positive one. So, there’s nothing to fear.
Appreciate your contribution and thoughts, Rosalie. You’re a champ. Cheers.
Rosalie Dale IPA
Interesting noticing the gender responses here.
Darren Stones replied
As long as the guys are reading, that’s a good thing. I’ve been contacted privately by a couple of people, and that’s a good thing.
See below for a blokes point of view – it’s good to see.
EarthGipsy
Good on you Darrin!! Just awesome for a bloke to speak out from personal experience and offer support and links to resources. Well done you! Hang in there, I’m behind you all the way. The responses to this, so far, may be from women – but I’m betting you being candid has hit home with a few blokes as well. Cheers Sonia
Darren Stones replied
Hi Sonia. Thanks very much for your kind and supportive words.
There’s been a fantastic response to this journal entry both publicly and privately, which I think is great. I’ve seen others open up and share their experiences and that’s certainly encouraged me to do so here.
Providing information is part of what I do, so I suppose it makes sense to pass on the resources that have been generously given to me.
Very much appreciate your positive and encouraging feedback, Sonia. Keep up your great work here. Cheers.
shanghaiwu
Darren
thankyou for your comments/REDBUBBLE keeps drawing me in each day and I love looking at what wonderful and creative minds have been busy composing.
saw your comment some time ago and when I tried to find it…...I am sorry as I did appreciate your thoughts.
and HEY..what a BRILLIANT day today!!
Darren Stones replied
Yes, RedBubble is a terrific outlet for us to share our works, thoughts and knowledge. It’s also good to see people supporting one another in their artistic endeavours and other matters.
We are fortunate to have such a space to enjoy. Thanks again, shanghaiwu.
drec
I sometimes live in a little cave, isolated from the world and don’t venture out. It’s easy for me to look back and see the times when depression(Bi-Polar) has been affecting me. October wasn’t too good – I managed to take my camera out on Two occasions(both of those I only went out due to Vicky).On top of the depression I have Frontal and Temporal Lobe Brain damage from a MVA, don’t think that helps. I’ve been off medication for a long time – been meaning to go back and see my regular GP. Last year was a bit rough with a couple of people I knew loosing their fight with Depression.
I’m waiting to be poked and prodded again and will be lining up for an MRI and other Brain function tests(courtesy of Centrelink/Job Network providers) and they might think how they can help. I need to return working full time but struggle getting out of my box plus my eyes are always bloodshot and people think I’m on drugs(doesn’t help with going for interviews).
Think I’ll see if Vicky can get me out of the house this week.
Darren Stones replied
Hi drec,
Thanks for posting here and sharing your story. I’m going through issues with Centrelink, too, but it’s still early days with them. Not exactly sure what the future holds on that score, but like you, I’d like to return to working full time down the track.
It’s interesting you mention medication because it’s an avenue I’ve been discussing with people and I’m trying to get more information about it. I’ve been reluctant to go down that path to this point for a couple of reasons, but I feel the need to be better informed.
As someone who has been down the path, your knowledge and shared experience has made me check a few things. Thanks for that.
Yes, getting out and about with the camera is definitely good therapy. When I’m away on a trip with camera in hand, I feel like I’m achieving something good for the short, medium and long term.
You’re doing great work with the Gold Coast group here at RedBubble, and I trust you’re proud of what you’ve achieved to date in regard to helping others. Also enjoy viewing your high quality works, too.
Great input, drec. Thanks a bunch and more strength to you. Cheers.
Di Jenkins
You’re a talented and inspiring man Mr Stones! It takes great courage to do what you’ve done and share your journey with all of us. Best wishes to you!
Darren Stones replied
G’day Di. Appreciate your kind comments and encouragement.
A journey it most certainly is – for all of us. I’ve gained a great deal of comfort by going down this path, and raising the awareness of men’s health issues is much needed.
Your thoughts, as well as others here, will hopefully show blokes that there’s no need to be hesitant in seeking support.
Thanks very much, Di. Happy days to you. Cheers.