Dazza's Top 10 secrets to affording art
Having reached the ripe old age of 40, and fast approaching 41, I’ve successfully steered my way through life by gathering items which have lead me to utilising some surplus funds to purchase art.
Being a tight arse has its benefits. So, here’s my Top 10 secrets to affording art.
1. When on holidays, skip the expensive eateries and head to McDonald’s for a medium-sized Quarter Pounder meal. Always leave the family restaurant with plenty of napkins for use at home.
2. When visiting your parents, arrive just before meal times. Do not call them announcing your intention to visit.
3. Investigate the best gardens in your neighbourhood during daylight hours for the best flowers to cut. Return with scissors, bucket and torch just before dawn for the freshest blooms.
4. Purchase cheap cask wine and drink at home whilst watching free-to-air television.
5. Never leave coffee, tea and sugar sachets, toilet rolls, pens and tissues in your cheap motel room on departure. You’ll be surprised how useful these items are when putting together Christmas hampers.
6. Search your neighbourhood to see who has the newspaper delivered each morning. You work out the rest, BUT, don’t get caught!
7. Borrow your friends new release CD’s and do what you have to do. Copies of such make excellent birthday and xmas prezzies.
8. Never, I repeat, NEVER, buy a calendar. Visit your local pharmacy during December/January and ask politely for three calendars. If you only receive one, return again the next day and ask politely. If queried, say the neighbours pet Bullmastiff ate the first one. Repeat until you’ve secured three.
9. Fly Jetstar.
10. Gently steam stamps from envelopes for recycling purposes.
So there you have it – Dazza’s Top 10 secrets to affording art.
Whilst visiting this journal entry, carefully and slowly browse through my entire portfolio of images and select at least one to suit your taste and decor. Don’t be a tight arse and buy cards though. Go for the largest framed print option. Happy purchasing.
Crokus Label
Hmmm.. so I guess you can afford art… ;)
What do you think about taking a look at my works… ;)
(this was funny… thanks for the hints… ;) )
Kelly McGill
I reckon yours is watertight, Daz.
You could now add financial planner to the ‘ole CV now haha!
Mark Ingram
Darren, I wondered what happened to all my spare dunny rolls following your visit to my place. LOL
Christine Wilson
haha that gives new meaning to the word tight arse – coffee, tea and sugar sachets, toilet rolls, pens and tissues I was wondering what to do with those now I know ! :)
Angela Stewart
lol, the words “you idiot” come to mind….in the nicest possible way ;-)
tambatoys
hhhmmmm very thrifty indeed,Dazza affording art is something that is worth being a tight ass for :)
My mother is a very big ‘steam off stamps’ type and would give me bags full of them every year LOL ,all your hints are are handy EXCEPT there is never a good reason the eat McCRAP ever!!
Darren Stones
How about purchasing this one – you get four for the price of one. :)
Melinda Kerr
you are a classic daz man
Mia1
Your pretty funny…. LOL ( I am still laughing) Just reading the comments. I must say, that you are pretty clever… You put alot of thought into it. Great suggestions. Love it, love your work. Awesome job.. :o)
John Robb
Can I work on a variation of point 7? – I’ll get a few of your cards, a colour copier and…
:-)
Brittany Kinney
Haha thanks, I’ve actually wanted to visit Australia for quite some time…the pictures surely are tempting!! Lol.
Thanks for the comment. =]
MLIC,
-Brittany
Stephen Mitchell
Very funny list of commandments! Thankfully it’s all just satire. Except for number 10. Who doesn’t seek out the non-franked stamp?!
BTW, I did the four for one deal very early on into my RB addiction, and then the five for one deal , both proving popular! Now, how ‘bout purchasing (both of) them?
pauline tims
Very good , now I know how I can afford to buy some r/b goodies!!
Sharon Perrett
LOL, you are so funny, love your writings, i may be tempted to purchase a card or two….....hahahaha, keep writing
roybarry
I’m a bit confused by rule 5.
motel room- has no one told you how much these things cost? what exactly is wrong with a park bench and a copy of that stolen newspaper, hmm??
Really, 40 is no excuse to get soft.
MOTEL ROOMS, really!!!!!!
Darren Stones replied
An ageing chap needs some creature comforts, Roy. However, I do skimp when it comes to ordering a cooked breakfast. I take my own box of cereal and cartons of long-life milk when travelling by car.
chasingsooz
LOL Darren I think you must be my husband’s clone lol .. he can never leave MacDonalds without stocking up on napkins and laments when we run out.
As he travels frequently, our cupboards are bursting with an assortment of shampoos, shower caps and the occassional face washer. (Must remember to make them into hampers)
Very funny journal entry Darren. You are sunshine on a cloudy day !
roybarry
And you do manage to remove as much toilet paper as you can carry too, don’t ya?
OK, you can have the motel room, just don’t book in ‘til after midnight- that way you can negotiate a discount….....