Andrew Walker

I write this latest episode of the Soap Bubble from under the duvet, with one eye on the door just in case ‘they’ are out there and coming to get me. Over the past 4 months of my time at Red Bubble I have undertaken a secret mission on behalf of the senior management of the Community (the men in red) to uncover the dark and seedy secrets of Red Bubble. For the average everyday visitor Red Bubble would appear to be just a very well run, state of the art, art site (Peter the cheques in the post) but it is home to ‘groups!’ secret sects who gather under the auspices of sharing in one particular genre of what they call ‘art’. I have investigated several of these sects and found that quite a few of these are benign, okay so the HDR group are practicing alchemy, the sunrise and sunset group is filled with ancient sungod worshipers from around the world and the glamour group made me blush. But this is only the tip of the iceberg, for deep in the murky recesses of Red Bubble I have found a spectre-like informal group of shysters and ne’er-do-wells that go by the name of the ‘Bubblettes’ . This spectre-like group is not just content with being part of the Red Bubble fraternity and is continually attempting to take over the Red Bubble (much like Pinky and the Brain). The shadowy members of this group are believed to have strong links to organised crime groups around the world and it is believed that they are the masterminds behind some of the recent heinous and elaborate art crimes commited on Red Bubble.
I went deep undercover to infiltrate this group and found their lair to be a speakeasy hidden behind the front of the Red Bubble soapbox forum. This den of iniquity is run by the leader of the group Melissa ‘El Presidente’ Vowell aka Da Prez , a criminal mastermind of the highest order. She rules this corner of the Bubble with an iron fist using violence and intimidation to get her way. With the aid of her gang Artemis74 ‘Vice El Presidente’ aka the Banshee , Durotriges aka Da Bird , Jo ‘No Clothes’ O’Brien aka the Enforcer aka Little Miss Mayhem , Jared ‘Baby Face’ Poole and the lovely yet deadly gangsters moll Imogene Munday aka Jared’s little love machine .
I infiltrated their inner circle after showing my allegiance through a variety of different and quiet horrible ways and having to undergo an initiation ceremony where the head members of this gang painted themselves red and ran around naked, I discovered later that the naked part was Jo ‘No Clothes’ O’Brien’s idea and the others went along with it because they didn’t want to upset her. Once accepted by the inner circle my investigation has uncovered that this shadowy group has a far more sinister motive than that of a social group, akin to the evil SMERSH network from the James Bond documentaries on the telly, this group forces other Red Bubblers to buy their products .
I needed inside information into just what the ‘Bubblettes’ plan entailed, obviously the high council were unlikely to blab, I needed to talk to other sources, I soon discovered that this group was very powerful and none of the moderators would talk to me for fear of what would happen to them, their art and their families. For weeks I had no way forward on this story until I was accosted by a shadowy figure on page two of the featured portfolio, this husky voiced shadowy figure claimed to have been a member of the ‘Bubblettes’ but left following a difference of opinion with El Prez , since then he has had to change his avatar and is living in a constant state of fear that The Enforcer will be sent after him, the name of this informant has been muddled up to avoid identification we shall call this shadowy figure ‘Mrak Grmean’. His face hidden in a continuous shadow to avoid identification he went on to explain that the ‘Bubblettes’ are planning to use collaboration as a weapon, forcing other artists to work with them to make pictures. When they have entrapped these artists in their lair, using the opportunity of taking fantastic pictures as bait, they will inject them with a concentrated drug which they call ‘Scarlett washing up liquid’ this causes an immediate addiction to Red Bubble and once addicted these artists are then forced to join the ever swelling ranks of the ‘Bubblettes’ army. Investigations into this drug have revealed that it is indeed highly addictive and is a hard habit to break.
And so as I type this latest episode I realise that we are all in danger from this subversive group, I have spoken to the Red Bubble community managers only to find that they have a glazed look about them! They dribble a little, and claim that Melissa Vowell and Jo O’Brien are good for Red Bubble! I think that I am too late and they have all been knobbled by the ‘Bubblettes’ ! Who knows who is next? It may be you! It may be me! As I sit in the dark typing this journal entry I am aware that the forces of evil will not want this known to the rest of the Red Bubble. Wait, I hear footsteps approaching my door, the shuffling pad of bare feet on the wooden floor and a whisper of wind through silk… It’s No Clothes! The Enforcer she has been sent after me and what’s worse, she’s just outside my door! Oh dear god! Please someone help me!…I cower under the duvet… the door handle Oh no it’s turning… it’s…

^{please note that all comments are completely fictitious and intended to be humorous. The journal relates to my interpretation of the art and to stories that I make up about the artist as a bubble characters rather than focusing on the real people behind the art}

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE EPISODES FOLLOW ON FROM EACH OTHER IN A SOAP OPERA STYLE. WHILST EACH EPISODE SHOULD BE A STORY IN ITSELF IT IS HOPED THEY THREAD TOGETHER. THERE ARE MORE EPISODES TO READ, JUST CLICK HERE! SOAP BUBBLE