HER FATHER'S DAUGHTER

Author: deliriousgirl
Word Count: 269
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The little girl knew what to do.

As soon as the yelling began she would jump, lightning quick, out of her bed, corral her groggy younger brothers, and run out to the old shed at the edge of the property that faced the canal. Experience had instilled in her the urgent necessity of this routine that far belied her years.

The next day, mama would never meet her eyes, sitting at the old broken down Formica kitchen table, chain smoking Lucky Strikes and sometimes applying a dishrag full of ice to her various bruises and injuries. On those days she would keep her brothers quiet, away from mama.

Even at six years old, she understood that no one could ever know about this. The regular horror of her home. She mustn’t be weak. That’s what her daddy called it: weakness of character. Everyone was weak except him. His wife and children especially.

The last time it ever happened; when the loud fleshy battering noises and muted screams had finally stopped, she had heard the back screen door slam. Daddy carried out an odd shaped bundle, trailing its wrappings along behind his heavy work-booted feet. He sidled down the canal bank , rolled the unwieldy shape into the filthy, fetid water.

It clung to the surface for endless minutes before sinking.

When the water’s surface once again became still, she left her brothers sleeping on the ground, and crept back to the house, numb and determined.

She would never be weak, she thought, as she approached daddy’s bedroom door with the heavy pistol steadily held in both hands.

HER FATHER'S DAUGHTER

THANK YOU FOR EDITING HELP!

HER FATHER'S DAUGHTER belongs to the following groups:

Twisted Tales

George Yesthal, 2 months ago

Good for her! Young guns and justice.
deliriousgirl in reply to George Yesthal’s comment, 2 months ago

hey, I’m not finished yet!
LisaG, 2 months ago

We can go either way, that of our conditioning or that of our own making…..however, a 6 year old has no chance of making her own at such a tender age. And inevitably acts out her understood conditioning.
I can’t help but consider grown adults stagnating internally at a particular age – based upon a traumatic or sublime experience….the method of handling such an event is constantly applied throughout life.

Thanks DG – this piece is wonderfully written and does stand alone. Yet for me has my mind ticking….
jemimalovesbigted, 2 months ago

its freaking me out. I feel sick but want to keep reading…..
deliriousgirl in reply to LisaG’s comment, 2 months ago

I can’t seem to get it to the 250 word point!!!! Driving me absolutely mad too! Thanks, hon, fantastic comment!!!!
Cailean, 2 months ago

hehe, DG … great minds think alike … emailing you a partial now … may give you grist for the mill.
HOOK ON BUBBLE, 2 months ago

You got my attention Honey. You usually do too.
deliriousgirl in reply to Cailean’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks, sweetie, I’ve missed you!
deliriousgirl in reply to HOOK ON BUBBLE’s comment, 2 months ago

Hey, have you checked out The Red Room yet???? Thanks dear!
deliriousgirl in reply to jemimalovesbigted’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks, hon, for reading and commenting. All my stuff isn’t this disturbing, I don’t think. You’re very sweet!
HOOK ON BUBBLE, 2 months ago

Is that the red room in the Blu Room or is there another entrance off the Red Bubble. or can you send me the yellow link to. it…. but put it in purple so I know its from you.
Hi Hun..You got an easy link for lill old me? To see you in the Red Room.. If its a photo of you or atleast the rear of you in Black and White wearing a very sexy Black lace number….. yes I did see it. Cant wait to see your smile also.
deliriousgirl in reply to HOOK ON BUBBLE’s comment, 2 months ago

Yes, sweetie, the photo will stay the same for a week, but I add new stories daily. That’s the thing the stories!
Nicole Ryan, 2 months ago

this is brilliant Jen .. heartbreaking and brilliant.

That’s what her daddy called it: weakness of character. Always in others, never in himself. Always, always in his wife and children.

such strong character descriptions here .. xx
deliriousgirl in reply to Nicole Ryan’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks, sugar!!! I’ve been trying to edit it down to 250 words for a couple of hours now, and I just can’t do it. Driving me insane.
Selina Jackson, 2 months ago

Damn! you know why
deliriousgirl in reply to Selina Jackson’s comment, 2 months ago

Ahhhhhhhhh, babydoll, I do, I do! Now go to The Red Room and read Elevator! Thanks, you gorgeous babe!
Selina Jackson, 2 months ago

ok sweetie going…..
Janine Peterson, 2 months ago

Great story, too bad it is the fabric of real memories for many people.:(
deliriousgirl in reply to Janine Peterson’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks, hon!!!
greeneyedlady, 2 months ago

the violence, the growing up too soon, the anger and disgust at having childhood stolen away… this one reached out and grabbed me by the throat…thank you for this. The only way to heal is to feel and pieces like this can help me and many others to do that.
deliriousgirl in reply to greeneyedlady’s comment, 2 months ago

Thank you! I understand this comment and this fictionalized story more than you’ll ever know, as well as the concept of healing.
greeneyedlady, 2 months ago

Yes, I believe you do….
raoultiger, 2 months ago

I was nervous reading this at the beginning after the playground story, but this one seems more upbeat!
deliriousgirl in reply to raoultiger’s comment, 2 months ago

HAAAAAAAAA!!!! You are crackin me upppppp!!!!

PS if you’re looking for really hot and really uplifting, go to the Red Room!!!
raoultiger, 2 months ago

Well, I wasn’t really looking for hot or uplifting, but I must say I’m curious now. Where is the red room?
deliriousgirl, 2 months ago

HERE
R.G. Ryan, 2 months ago

Good stuff, friend.
deliriousgirl in reply to R.G. Ryan’s comment, 2 months ago

Mucho gracias, sweetiepie!
deliriousgirl in reply to R.G. Ryan’s comment, 2 months ago

Have you ever heard Espanol spoken with a Southern accent that’s as thick as molasses?
R.G. Ryan, 2 months ago

Well, my family is from the Ozarks, and I grew up coastal California with all Braceros for friends as a kid. So, in a word…yes.
deliriousgirl in reply to R.G. Ryan’s comment, 2 months ago

It is hilarious sounding.
DBALehane, 2 months ago

Whew! We both do end up with some dangerously twisted kids in out tales of domestic violence eh? Darkly tantalising and chilling in a good way. Please don’t forget to link it in this week’s Star Twisters thread ;)
deliriousgirl in reply to DBALehane’s comment, 2 months ago

This one was actually much better at the original 700 odd words. Thanks, dear!
WanderingAuthor, 2 months ago

I hope you post the original version as well – there isn’t any rule that forbids posting alternate versions, is there?

Even after reading one of Lehane’s masterpieces, this still had a powerful impact. And Lehane is a hard act to follow, in my opinion, so don’t sell this story short. A tragic choice for the poor girl, one that will no doubt scar her for life, but I can’t say it’s one I blame her for. For all that she’ll have to live with the consequences, it is as if he put the gun in her hands and squeezed her finger onto the trigger. That tension, between who is truly guilty and who will suffer, is perhaps what gives the story such force and depth.
Peter Evans, 2 months ago

I’m not going into the whys and what for’s crap.

I’m just going to say a damn fine read DG.

Well written!!
deliriousgirl in reply to WanderingAuthor’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks so much, dear! Here’s the thing about this story: the father really effectively participated in his own demise by teaching the girl to hate weakness.
deliriousgirl in reply to Peter Evans’s comment, 2 months ago

Much appreciated, sweetguy!!!!
Zolton, 2 months ago

Aren’t parents who forget their children have brains always in for trouble? Great imagery in such a short story. I could picture it.
Sabbath, 2 months ago

Ahh the mind of a 6 year old is sometimes dangerous, and this story has brought it to the light. I love it, every last bit of it !
DBALehane, 2 months ago

What intrigues me here is how we all assume that the girl has a real gun, it is loaded and she will actually pull the trigger. That’s the power of this story not what she might end up doing – but the fact that at such an early age she she’s a gun as some kind of way of ending suffering. Now that is even more chilling no matter what happens next.
DBALehane, 2 months ago

I meant to say “at such an early age she SEES a gun…”

Doh…note to self not to reply at 7.30am on a Monday morning! ;)
Trish Cooper, 2 months ago

Absolutely amazing…...you had me from the first line to the last and I even found myself holding my breath for a second (thank god I remembered to breathe lol) This is a VERY strong story…so well written and developed!!!!! Great work hon!!!! xoxoxoxo
Damian, 2 months ago

Nicely done Jen, and the ending is an image I can really picture. Must be the twisted nature of a kid that should be sweet and fun resorting to gun violence through her upbringing.
Outdoors2, 2 months ago

No wonder the damn gators are so fucking Big !
deliriousgirl in reply to Outdoors2’s comment, 2 months ago

How did ya know that it was in FL?
deliriousgirl in reply to Zolton’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks dear!
deliriousgirl in reply to Sabbath’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks so much!
deliriousgirl in reply to Trish Cooper’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks so much Trish, you always leave the best comments!
deliriousgirl in reply to Trish Cooper’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks so much Trish, you always leave the best comments!
deliriousgirl in reply to Damian’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks, sweetie, love your comments!!!
deliriousgirl in reply to DBALehane’s comment, 2 months ago

Us language obsessives are such a weird bunch, ain’t we?
George Yesthal, 2 months ago

I agree with Wanderingauthor. Brutality and cruely reap as much consequence as kindness and compassion. It’s the old reap what you sow thing. Most seem to dwell on the little girl’s emotional scars. I tend to take the other (albeit emotionally jostled) stand that leaches a certain catharsis into her actions. Daddy made his bed and taught by example .Whatever. The world is minus one more beast. Poetic justice
George Yesthal, 2 months ago

LOL. I meant CRUELTY.Yeah, US language obsessives. LOL
Natella2020, 2 months ago

What intrigues me is that, in the illusion of strength that her father has given her, she still feels the need to protect her siblings from the family horror. She even felt that it was important for her brothers to stay away from her mama the next day.

You’ve packed a punch in this tale. While I cringe at the thought that this plot represents reality, I did enjoy witnessing your competence in displaying it. Spectacular.
William H, 2 months ago

oh my goodness, I think we have a winner!!!! GREAT stuff, great twist, great image, great everything!
deliriousgirl in reply to Natella2020’s comment, 2 months ago

Ohhhh, sweetie, you give me the greatest comments! And they go straight to my heart!
deliriousgirl in reply to George Yesthal’s comment, 2 months ago

YES!!! That is exactly the point of the story!!!!
deliriousgirl in reply to William H’s comment, 2 months ago

Thank you so very very much! Ya do know that I love it when ya love me!
Alison Pearce, 2 months ago

Very powerful and well written piece! So much emotion and anguish in so few words. Excellent work!
deliriousgirl in reply to Alison Pearce’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks so much, m’dear! Your comments always give me that warmfuzzy!
Craig Mowat, 2 months ago

Nice work. An example of how violence can be handed down in a family that knows nothing else. You play well with the feel that this has gone on for so long it has become routine. And breaking that routine – the bundle in the canal – spins their world into even darker places.
deliriousgirl in reply to Craig Mowat’s comment, 2 months ago

Thank you dear one!!!
MickyMc, 2 months ago

There is little to add that hasn’t been already said. A great story about a horrible man who seems to be about to get what he deserves.
deliriousgirl in reply to MickyMc’s comment, 2 months ago

Why, thanks, dear! Appreciate the reading and the comment very much!
rrohn, 2 months ago

This one’s going to give me nightmares. Powerful story, powerfully written.
deliriousgirl in reply to rrohn’s comment, 2 months ago

Thank you very much!
Hilary Robertshaw, 2 months ago

Very chilling tale, very well written
deliriousgirl in reply to Hilary Robertshaw’s comment, 2 months ago

Thank you very much! Means a lot to me, dear.
Miri, 2 months ago

many congrats!!! awesome news – it’s a great story with a fantastic but so sad twist
deliriousgirl in reply to Miri’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks, dear! Your comments fly straight to my heart !!!!
Roy barry, 2 months ago

Fuckin’ Hell, this is dark and gritty.

Disturbing and brilliant.
deliriousgirl in reply to Roy barry’s comment, 2 months ago

YES!!! You know all those dark gory muckedup corners I have.
Roy barry, 2 months ago

my kinda girl!
JenniferB, 2 months ago

Janie’s got a gun… ;-)
deliriousgirl in reply to JenniferB’s comment, 2 months ago

How did you know? One story on Led Zep, one on Aerosmith.
JenniferB, 2 months ago

your tale sang to me… congrats on your win, great writing dg.
Natella2020, 2 months ago

Congratulations on the win!!!!!!!! It was well-deserved!!!!!!!!!!!
deliriousgirl in reply to Natella2020’s comment, 2 months ago

Thank you so much!!! Your gracious and intelligent comments always send me into a swoon! Soooo, I’m gonna come up with a good one for next time! Be forewarned, it’s gotta be weird.
Nancy Vice, 2 months ago

My dad had a drinking problem when i was a child. he had 8 children, the 2 older ones already out on thier own, one son (older then me) passed away, and i was left as the eldest of the 5 remaining children. When the fighting started between dad and mom, i would take my 4 younger siblings (1 sister, 3 brothers), out through the upstairs window, we would jump down onto dads truck (wasnt that high with a lower roof) and off we went down the street, up 3 blocks to a woman i trusted to house us for the night. I couldnt bare to hear my siblings cry, i took them away from it each time. Its ugly to go through.
WanderingAuthor, 2 months ago

Congratulations on your win! I’m always happy to lose to a story I know is better than my own, and this certainly was.
deliriousgirl in reply to Nancy Vice’s comment, 2 months ago

Heyyyy, I did have two younger brothers and I was always the peacemaker or the protector in my extremely dysfunctional family. I’ve mostly made peace with my past these days, but hell yes, it’s ugly. And it took me a long self-destructive convoluted road to find my way. My heart goes out to you and it’s with great triumph, because I know you’ve found your way too.
deliriousgirl in reply to WanderingAuthor’s comment, 2 months ago

Thank you, your comments mean a lot to me, dear! And be forewarned, I’m thinking up a real mindboggler for next time, so get the Pelikan pens and the Noodler’s ink at the ready!
Talkingwatermelon, 2 months ago

Wow! I was planning to write something profound and thought provoking, but by the time I got to the bottom of this list, I forgot what it was I wanted to say… excellent story. “The regular horror of her house.” poetic, true, succinct. Well done and congratulations.
deliriousgirl in reply to Talkingwatermelon’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks dear!!! Just please save the profundity for the next competition, I get to choose the subject and I’m thinking of going very kinky like maybe:

THIS
deliriousgirl in reply to Talkingwatermelon’s comment, 2 months ago

Or maybe

THIS
deliriousgirl in reply to JenniferB’s comment, 2 months ago

Like I always try to tell everybody: We’re all walking wounded on this goddamned planet hon. And the only cure for love is more love.
Talkingwatermelon, 2 months ago

Any profundity I might have is yours… I’m going to go take a cold shower now…
deliriousgirl in reply to Talkingwatermelon’s comment, 2 months ago

HAAAAAAAA!!!!
DBALehane, 2 months ago

Congratulations on being Twisted Tales weekly champion in our Canal Star Twister challenge. Richly deserved!
smitisan, 2 months ago

A really good read, just the sort of thing I’d like to make into a song if the “Janie’s got a gun” crowd wouldn’t come after me. One thing: try “the heavy gun held steadily in both hands, just the way her daddy taught her.”
deliriousgirl in reply to smitisan’s comment, 2 months ago

Sure!!! Thanks, you dollbaby!!!
Alison Pearce, 2 months ago

Much congratulations My dear!!
deliriousgirl in reply to Alison Pearce’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks so much!!!! They were all really really good, weren’t they!
Alison Pearce, 2 months ago

They were indeed! Great competition leads to even greater writing!
Nicole Ryan, 2 months ago

you’re such a sweetheart .. thanx for the link ..

I loved this story .. it resonated with me .. and, it didn’t need much swinging around.

xx
deliriousgirl in reply to Nicole Ryan’s comment, 2 months ago

So, I picked a video and title by Muscular Teeth for the next one. And I was thinking of you when I picked it, I know you have a grrrrrreat story for it!
Nicole Ryan, 2 months ago

ooh i’ll have to go and check out what the word is .. intriguing ..

i love MT’s stuff too
Jen Wahl, 2 months ago

What a strong little girl. I know many like her. Your story offers empowerment to others… thanks for posting it.
deliriousgirl in reply to Jen Wahl’s comment, 2 months ago

Thank you!
gutterhubris, 2 months ago

Wow, it’s deliriously awful. You convey one fuck of a lot in those few words and it’s a little like being punched. Isn’t it odd how the sad girls always seem to find each other?
gutterhubris, 2 months ago

Just in case it wasn’t clear, I meant “awful” as “powerful and cool.”
deliriousgirl in reply to gutterhubris’s comment, about 1 month ago

YES!!! No longer sad, though, mostly worked out some closure and some forms of peace in my life these days.
joolie1, about 1 month ago

Whoa! Great stuff.
I’ll have to puruse your writing when I’m not supposed to be working … you deserve to have my full attention!
deliriousgirl in reply to joolie1’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you, dear!!!
Debbie King, about 1 month ago

Wow! This is powerful! Love it!
deliriousgirl in reply to Debbie King’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thanks so much, dear!!! I am a huge fan of yours!!!
mohammed, about 1 month ago

Good stuff! !
deliriousgirl in reply to mohammed’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you very much!!! Love the comments!!!
mohammed, about 1 month ago

no prob keep it comeing
bonbon3272, about 1 month ago

Very powerful. Nice work.
Giotto, about 1 month ago

You’re are one hell of a writer….. lady! xx
Sunsetwolf24, about 1 month ago

WOW! I got goosebumps before I even realized it, while reading….that hardly ever happens….wow…such truth here
deliriousgirl in reply to Sunsetwolf24’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you so much dear!!!
deliriousgirl in reply to Giotto’s comment, about 1 month ago

Oh thank you, dear!!! _{now c’mon, ya know ya wanna read the other stories}
deliriousgirl in reply to bonbon3272’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you for such a gracious and kind comment!
Jim Marshal, about 1 month ago

I love the power and intensity of this piece, guess all that machismo backfired on him, ‘scuse the pun.
deliriousgirl in reply to Jim Marshal’s comment, about 1 month ago

YES!!! He was the creator of his own demise! Thanks, dear! Please do keep reading, there are some amazing writers here!!!
bchrisdesigns, about 1 month ago

“filthy, fetid water”

such a great description! this story is full of them!!!! wonderful!
coppertrees, about 1 month ago

Great Story,ending was wickedly good
deliriousgirl in reply to coppertrees’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thanks so much!!! Glad you liked it!!!
deliriousgirl in reply to bchrisdesigns’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you very much!!! The difficulty is always in the editing!!!
girlinthestars, about 1 month ago

fantastically written…enthralled me and ended perfectly~*
deliriousgirl in reply to girlinthestars’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thanks so much!!! What a great comment, made my day!
butchart, about 1 month ago

you have the gift… and you use it so very well…....... b
deliriousgirl in reply to butchart’s comment, about 1 month ago

Awwwwww, _{blushblushblush} thanks so much!
LadyLazurus, about 1 month ago

nicely written, I enjoyed reading this piece
deliriousgirl in reply to LadyLazurus’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you dear!!! I am a huge fan of yours!!!
markgb, about 1 month ago

this is an amazing story, you are one fuck of a writer!
deliriousgirl in reply to markgb’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you so much!!! I just love a passionate comment!!!!
Arnold Isbister, about 1 month ago

great character study leading to the end…..wanted to read more.
deliriousgirl in reply to Arnold Isbister’s comment, about 1 month ago

Well, I do love it when you love me! Thanks so much! And of course, you can, _{i have zillions of stories}
DBALehane, about 1 month ago

Congratulations on winning the Twisted Tales Star Twister May Grand Final with this tale!
Beth Wilson, about 1 month ago

Congratulations Deliriousgirl – great stuff!
juice, about 1 month ago

great work for winning first prize…well done indeed
deliriousgirl in reply to Beth Wilson’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you so very much!!!!
deliriousgirl in reply to juice’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thanks hon!!! You’re such a good friend!!! And I do so admire your work!!!
Timothy Goodwin, about 1 month ago

Well-paced, and marvelously cryptic. Excellent work!!
Miri, about 1 month ago

you go girl! congrats on the win , very pleased for you :-)
deliriousgirl in reply to Miri’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you!!! All of the stories are very very good!!!
JenniferB, about 1 month ago

the only cure for love is more love.

brrr… wanna hear something as twisted as your tale? did you know that those words you spoke up there, are almost identical to the very same words spoken by a blogger I once interacted with named Joseph Duncan? He was a pedophile and at the time of speaking those very same words, he kidnapped and abused two children, one of them he murdered, burnt and scattered the remains of…

Pretty twisted hu?

Joseph Duncan

Read it… It’s a fascinating tale, you’ll find me amongst the thousands of commenters somewhere. ;-)
deliriousgirl in reply to JenniferB’s comment, about 1 month ago

The only cure for love is more love is a quote by Henry David Thoreau.

I’ll read the blog, sounds really twisted.
CateTownsend, about 1 month ago

So many wonderful comments on a magnificent story. All I can say is you took me there, it was as though it was a movie playing before my eyes. Not only did I see it, I was touched deeply. My senses all came to life, you have a wonderful talent deliriousgirl, I’m so glad you chose to share it here.
deliriousgirl in reply to CateTownsend’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you so so so much!!! You’re very hot!
CateTownsend, about 1 month ago

Absolutely burning up lol how did you know?????
HOOK ON BUBBLE, about 1 month ago

Chilling Gripping and Horrific. Yet so well written.
Cheers steve.
deliriousgirl in reply to HOOK ON BUBBLE’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you dear one!
MtnMan, about 1 month ago

This is just the beginning?
deliriousgirl in reply to MtnMan’s comment, about 1 month ago

Actually it was a 750 word story to begin with, this is the final edit. It was written for a competition in Twisted Tales and all the comps have word limits of which this one was 250 words. That’s the reason for its brevity here.

It did win twice though! Thanks so much for reading, dear! I just love your comments!!!
LostBoy, about 1 month ago

i look forward to the next 250 :)
deliriousgirl in reply to LostBoy’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you kindly!!! Your comments go straight to my hear, hon!
bearpaw, about 1 month ago

i am not sure exactly what i can write as a comment that hasn’t been written already.. you are a queen of your craft Deliriousgirl… & the story… gripping, tormenting, sad….thought provoking…..
filfil, about 1 month ago

The ending scared me, literally. it’s giving me goosebumps…
deliriousgirl in reply to filfil’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you, hon! Sweeeeeet comment!!!
deliriousgirl in reply to bearpaw’s comment, about 1 month ago

Thank you! I love it when you love me!
Rebs O, 26 days ago

amazing writing.. where is the rest? i’m all intrigued and want to read on!
deliriousgirl in reply to Rebs O’s comment, 26 days ago

HAAA!!! Thank you so much, dear!!!
lolowe, 24 days ago

Crazy powerful. Now I have chills, thanks a lot delirious!
deliriousgirl in reply to lolowe’s comment, 24 days ago

Thanks hon! I’ve been terribly preoccupied lately and hardly even able to log on to RB. Going through a massive burn out period, I think. But, hot damn! I love that new avatar photo!!!
PennyEdwardes, 22 days ago

My goodness! What an incredible story….so brilliantly written! Stunning writing!
deliriousgirl in reply to PennyEdwardes’s comment, 22 days ago

Thank you very much, m’dear!
Druidstorm, 21 days ago

I know what the monster looks like, 2 and a half years he serves for being a demon, yet scares the life of the younge forever. You write well as if your eyes have seen!!!...)o(
deliriousgirl in reply to Druidstorm’s comment, 21 days ago

HAAA!!! In fact, my eyes have seen much, hon!!! Thanks, great comment!!!