Passion of Love:
“Eye of the Hurricane.” PG 13
Jean had gotten up at 3 am to make a phone call to her dear friend Sasha Berisnikolf informing her of the plans she and Logan have to come to visit. At noontime the sound of a ringing telephone echos threw out the small modest apart in Khabaroysk Russia. Sasha had just walked in the door from the market with a brown bag of groceries in one hand and her keys in the other. She closed the front door behind her and walked to kitchen to answer the phone.
“Hello” Sasha started in Russian as she set the brown bag on the stone tiled floor.
“Hello Sasha.” an exited Jean replied in English.
“Jean Darling! It has been too long from hearing your voice! she replied, her English was not well refined, but she could carry on conversations.
“Yes it has Sasha, which brings me to my point for calling. Remember I told you about my friend Logan, and how we are now together?” she asked
“Da, Jean, I remember this, He is the one what baby you are having, is he not?” she confirmed in question.
“Yes, that’s right, well we want to come to Russia, I would like you to be my mid wife.” she asked with confidence.
“Yes! I do this for you, yes! It would be my honor, I have extra room here, you and Logan can stay with the baby here. I take care of you till you can leave. Yes, You and Logan come stay with me, we have good visit Jean. "Sasha’s agreed with excitement. “When are you coming dear?” she asked in anticipation.
“Well, the baby is due next week so I thought we would leave in a couple of days, I have to talk with the professor first about it. We’d be fling in by privet plane.” she explained
“You let me know as soon as you know Jean darling. I go get food to fill the refrigerator for us. what does Logan like to eat?” Sasha asked
“Oh no, Sasha that’s too much, Logan and I will buy the food when we arrive don’t spend any money on us. Besides, Logan eats way too much, it would just be too expensive I can’t let you do that.” Jean told her.
“Oh, he is big man, is he not?” she asked a little surprised.
“No he’s not, she giggled softly, he’s really quite small, but he eats like he’s huge!” Jean joked. The two women laughed together.
“So it settled, WE buy the food, and I will call you as soon as I have the flight date set.” Jean confirmed.
“Da. I wait for phone call Jean.” Sasha replied.
The two said their good-byes and Jean hung up the phone and headed to her room when she sensed Logan was still awake in his room. He was having a hard time sleeping that night and decided not to stay with Jean because he feared he was going to keep her awake with his restlessness. A sinking feeling kept gnawing at him, and he was fighting it. In his efforts to win this battle he was becoming irritated at himself. Logan always did have good instinct. They have saved many lives over the years so he learned to listen to his gut, and his gut was telling him to be careful. It was too late for that, he and Jean were having a baby together. Logan kept pushing that little voice out.
Growling a deep growl at himself as he looked in the mirror in his bathroom leaning on the sink below supporting his upper body with his arms, his hand feeling the coldness of the porslin sink.. he stated "You just can’t let it be can you! Can’t have ONE HAPPY moment, you ALWAYS have to gum it up for yourself, don’t you! you asshole! Why can’t you just shut your damn yap and enjoy life for once! he growled again sounding like a big rottwiler guard dog protecting his master’s property. He turned and stomped to his bed where he plopped on the end and stewed with a scowl. As he sat he started picking up the sent of Jean coming down the hall and heading to his room.
“Crap.” he complained under his breath. I don’t want her seeing me like this, having a hissy fit. damn it." He took a few deep breaths trying to compose himself before she got to the door. Getting up he snatched his book from his night stand and flopped back down opening the book to look as if he’d been reading.
A few minuets later Jean respectfully knocked at the door sensing the struggle in side.
“Come on in Red.” he invited
“Everything OK Logan? I thought I heard some growling in here, something you need to talk about maybe?” she inquired
“No one’s growling” he snapped with out looking up from his book. “Just reading.” he finished abruptly turning a page.
She paused and stared at him for moment knowing he was trying to hide his feelings. When ever Logan acted this way most people would leave him alone and walk away. It was well known pushing Logan into talking about something he doesn’t want to talk about would lead to one of two results an altercation, or a rude abrupt exit followed by a growl of warring. If you didn’t take the hint, you’d end up wishing you did.
“Are you sure there’s nothing you need to talk about?” Jean politely asked.
He could feel the weight of her star, how he hated being stared at, even by her. trying hard to maintain composure Logan looked up from his book and stared as if to burn a whole right threw her. That stopped all further question which is the way he wanted it.
She scratched her head casting her eyes away, "Ok then: Jean started, clearing her throat she asked “want here some good news?”
Logan calmly placed his book text down on his chest and folded his arms giving her his full attention. “Ok, what’s the good word?” he asked
“I just got off the phone with my friend Sasha, and she said we can stay with her in Russia and she agreed to deliver the baby! she finished with a gleaming smile, "Isn’t that wonderful Logan?’ she asked trying to lighten his mood.
Logan set his book aside and got up to walk over to her. He smiled as he reached to hold her pulling hr close, kissing her on the cheek. “What ever makes you happy Red, I’m for it.” he told her in an even toned voice.
“Are you sure your. OK with this, you didn’t seem that exited.” She asked
Jean could sense he was holding back something and it bother her, She began to wonder, “Oh my gosh, what if he found out about Scott? What if Logan found out he’s alive and won’t tell me because we are together? that RAT. Stop it JEAN you know Logan would never do that.” she told herself. “But he might just to keep me. Maybe that’s why he can’t sleep he’s full of guilt.” Logan had more than enough skill to find out these thing and he could be quite sneaky in hiding information when needed, After all he was once a international spy. She tried to enter his mind.
“Jean don’t do that darling?’ Logan asked as kindly as he could.
" Do what?" she inquired, acting as if she didn’t know what he was talking about.
“You know what, you little vixen.’ he grinned with a chuckle. “Stop trying to get in my head and seeing what’s wrong. aint nothing to do with you darling, just some crap I have to settle with me.” he smiled.
“Well I COULD make you tell me If I really wanted to you know!, Professor’s blocks aren’t full proof you know.’” she smirked.
“Yeah, I know darling, but if you love me, you won’t disrespect me like that, I would never do that to you.” He informed her
“True, But on the same note, if you really love me, you wouldn’t hide information from me, she smiled “That’s not a good sign of trust Logan.” Jean baited hoping he would bit and tell her if her suspicions were real.
Logan took a deep breath and sighed, “Why are you making me do this, you know I anit no good with telling my feeling Jean.” He explained.
“Better lean quick, the baby won’t be a baby for long. it’s going to be a child with a lot of question about life.” She informed him
“Ok doll, you got me, I’ll give it go. Just promise me you aint gonna interrupt me and just let me finish what I need to say first,” he asked
“Ok, no problem” She stated as she eagerly pulled his hand guiding him back to the bed where she sat waiting for him to start talking."
Another red flag popped up in Logan’s mind. why was she so insistent on him talking about his feelings, she uselly waited knowing he’d come to her in his own time, and he sometimes did. Why the urgency? Again he decided to let it go, and chalk it off to hormones. “Ok for some reason she needs to know now, it aint gonna kill you to spill it, so get to talking and stop being selfish.” he scolded himself as he sat down next to her.
“ok here goes, I was acting like a punk kid because I’ve been feeling pushed away and I’m just being selfish and immature. I know you don’t mean to push me away but it really bothers me when you do, Gets me thinking all kinds of crazy stuff, feeling sorry for myself. I didn’t want you seeing me like that, I was mad at me for not just letting things be, an for thinking negatively. " he confessed with his head hung in shame. Logan looked at her and continued. “You know I have lost so much in my life. When Marico died I never thought i could ever be happy again, I feel bad Scott’s gone, I really do, you know we talked a lot and shared a lot about the two people we loved the most being gone. But I aint gonna lie, I am happy we got to this point, I have always loved you and for the first time in longer than I can remember, I feel happy. But NO, i have to find some damn way to fuck it up and be negative, Just really makes me MAD Jean. I’m sorry for acting like that with you.” he finished looking her in the eyes as he reached out to hold her hands.
The guilt in Jean was stifling. She could hardly breath. She couldn’t even look him in the eyes let alone speak. What was she going to say after those horrible and selfish thoughts she had. Jean began to involuntarily sob. the tears ran down her face and she pulled her hand out of Logan’s and placing them on herself . She was so ashamed she wanted to run away and hide.
This was not the reaction Logan expected. he didn’t understand. he told her his true feelings thinking it would help her in stead it seemed to have hurt more than if he never said a word.
“Red?’ he started, he was interrupted .
“Logan I’m so Sorry! she cried hardly able to speak. I never meant to push you away like that. I’m so sorry.” She sniffed and flung her arms around his neck.
He held her tight, “I’s OK darling, it’s OK, the ole’ canuck can take it.” he chucked to himself realizing he would have to be the stronger of the two at this time. “I’ll try better to be more understanding about what your going threw Jean. I’ll try harder.” he promised as he closed his eyes.
Jean Sniffed and held him tight, whispering in his ears, “I don’t deserver you Logan.”
He pulled away and again looked her in the eyes, “You do because I say so, It’s my choice. I don’t want to hear them words come out of your mouth again darling. I love you, that’s all that matters. We’ll get threw this darling.”
She wiped her eyes with her hands looking at him. The look on his face was firm and full of conviction she had no reason to doubt a word he said.
“It’s 5:25 in the morning I better go get some rest. Logan.” she said
“Go Where Red? You aint gotta go nowhere but here, with me.” he informed her.
“I just thought you wanted to be alone tonight.” Jean answered.
“Alone? I’ve been alone for most of my 120 years on this earth, I think I’ve had my fill of being alone darling. You were right when you told me I better learn quick. Well I’m ready to learn. Stay by my side, hold my hand every once in awhile, don’t give up on me like you didn’t tonight and I promise to open up with you more. I’m willing to work together with you Jean.” he gave her his word.
Jean stayed all that night (and every night there after,) as promised Logan had opened up to her. They talked about things he had never told anyone else. He stopped worrying about her little moods and pushing him away. Logan trusted her with his feeling. he thought there was no safer place for him than in her loving arms.
But Scott Summers was never fare from her mind, she never gave up on the idea he would one day return to her. She tried not to push Logan away, but at times she just could not help it. The guilt has lessen and she took comfort in Logan’s passed words, she knew that Logan was ok with this and understood…so he thought.
The next Morning Logan woke up to hear Jean was already in the shower. With a grin on his face he got out of bed and walked with out making a sound. He opened the bathroom door and peeked in.
“Don’t even try it Mister! that will be the day when you sneak up on me!” she laughed. He laughed with her and pulled the curtain back.
“Move your pretty little butt Red, I’m coming in.” he informed.
“Maybe you haven’t notice lately Logan, but there’s nothing pretty or little about my butt these days! she chuckled as she grabbed the near by bar of soap.
Half way inside the shower, Logan looked at her accessing the sene. “Well then move your big flabby butt over” he joked
Jean’s mouth dropped, and she struggled to hold back her laughter, “WHAT!” What never! I can’t believe you said that!" She stated half smiling and snapped his leg with her wet soapy wash cloth with a SPALT.
Logan gave her a a look that reminded her of the big bad wolf talking to little red riding hood while dressed as grandma. "You think that is gonna stop me? he teased now in a full grin his sharp canines gleamed as those piecing blue eyes stared at her. With that black hair pointed on each side he really did look like a wolf there for a minuet.
The next thing she knew he was in the shower wether she liked it or not.
“Bad dog!’ Jean joked pointing at him
“Wolf Jean, Get it right darling. Wolf not dog.” he corrected standing under the water and shaking his stern finger at her. The two laughed a big belly laugh as Jean handed Logan the soap.
After their shower the two got dressed and headed over to talk with the professor about their planes to fly to Russia for the birth. Jean had more than one subject on her mind that needed to be discussed.