DeeprBlue

*This is a response to you from the comments you’ve made to me after my last journal entry.*
You guys….you make me cry…and crying isn’t good for me and Char knows it, lol…
You may not believe this but….EVERY SINGLE DAY….I think if my friends here on RedBubble. I am _constantly striving to _{get to a place} where I can stop….get over here…post SOME of the literally thousands of images I’ve taken.
My entire life literally is comprised of photography, graphic enhancements, yoga, and meditating.
I mean literally…
lol
Every single day is another closer to getting _{back home} here and posting some of what I’ve done.
Last night, after posting some work, (I was so sick last night and am still shaky), I felt embarrassed.
I felt that my work wasn’t good enough to be on here….what with all the incredible AMAZING images and art….
I have every intention of growing. I _know I can grow in this field.
I’ve had some really weirdly amazing concepts come to me during meditation and I’ve written them down and although I know I’m not quite ready to go there yet, it is something I have to look forward to in the very near future.
These concepts were regarding photography and graphics.
I have to stay _so focused and not give in to the urge to get over here and visit and read, and post and make comments,etc…b/c right now….and “right now” could mean months or more, I only have the strength to accomplish the three things I’m doing.
I know that I owe you, my friends, the simple (but not simple for me) courtesy of visiting your work and acknowledging YOUR talent….
I am KEENLY aware of this…so please always know that.
I just have so much ability in my brain to do what I can do and I KNOW that I’ll get stronger and will attain more “staying power” eventually to get to the point of not just doing what I’m trying to do now, but to also visit with your works.

Even writing this has already taken me an hour and I’m still pausing and resting my brain.
Being a published author in the past, this really, really…..bothers me, but I KNOW I can get back there if I keep doing what I’m doing.
I _do push myself, but…if I didn’t push myself I wouldn’t achieve.
Often, the consequences of my pushing myself are brain swelling and pain, back in bed…BUT…I always get back up and start again.
Without the support of you, my lovely, wonderful, talented friends, I’d lose some of that drive…b/c I would severely question whether or not I was going in the right direction.
I’m going to journal this since it’s so long…lol….so you’ll see it twice, sorry….
I may never get to hug any of you….or look into your eyes and let you see into mine and see what’s behind them, but I’ll do everything short of that to communicate with you all b/c you’re that important to me….and to my progress.
I Love you guys so much.
Valerie