When I was young, I spent long periods of time leaning up against my bedroom wall, playing with the light switch. Well, not just playing. I was trying to find the In-Between Place.
You see, a light switch is ON or Off, I understand that. I would roll my finger over the switch, feeling it slowly resist me, becoming ever more tensioned. That moment was coming, I could feel it.
The room – in bright, white, Light.
A little bit of elbow power, and one can hold a switch this way for some time. Nearly at its peak, but not quite. Almost there. And then – I would go for it…
Squeezing tightly, I roll a little further with my thumb.
Click
The room is in Darkness.
Surprise, then frustration
I start again. It must be from Light to Dark, and not the other way. I was sure it worked that way.
Light switched on, roll my finger, pressing tightly….arm a little sore from the pressure, face almost kissing the plastic panel. I envision the electric current – flowing through the conduits and wires, filling the little glass world.
More pressure.
This time, as the switch tensions, my fingers shudder slightly, and I begin to perspire. I strain at controlling the little button. Resistance builds up further, and I can feel it wanting to release – to shut that flow off to the glass world with a snap. But I don’t want this.
What I want, is the In-Between Place. I know it exists, because I’ve been there. It’s not hard to visit, and the path is usually open just as you are awakening, or are falling to sleep. It’s a place where rules are never hard and sharp and where people SEE not yell. Where age is arbitrary, understanding is immediate, and people wear their insides out.
But visiting the In-Between Place while fully conscious is escaping me.
The switch begins its surrender. I know it. I know this feeling – it starts to relax minutely. It throws up its hands and says “well, what do you expect, idiot? I’m a fucking switch – I’m on or off!”
But I know this isn’t true – even as, for the fifty-third time tonight, black darkness thunders into the room, leaving my eyes with red afterglows of a once-world.
It’s ok. I’m tired anyway. I’ll try again tomorrow.
I’m still trying to this day
The In-Between Place
The memory of this (and it’s all true) was spurred today by mick8585, in a recent writing
Samantha Cole-..., 6 months ago
This is teriffic Mark, and i must admit as a young kid i used to do this also, with the light switch!
xx Sam
Kristy Lee, 6 months ago
Ahh..the in-between place..I am still in search of it too. Nothing compares to it.
LisaG, 6 months ago
Wonderful writing, you’ve made me stop and think about the in-between place….
I too would play with the light switch – for me it was about balancing the switch between on and off….
Samantha Van S..., 6 months ago
I like this idea-I’m sure I’ve read about it before.
In fact, I’m sure I was talking about it in depth just last week…it side tracked to computers and binary code-a computer is completely based on ‘on’ and ‘off’. That’s the simplist message. Yet we as people are so diverse-that’s what’s amazing-we can say yes, no, and Yes-No, what if, when this happens, I’ll do this instead.
I reckon that’s why we love movies, stories-to hear other’s version of what their action in a situation is. How they find the In Between.What makes them switch from in between yes or no definitely-and the power of that action-it is so wonderfully dramatic!
cool story Mark
Brett Foster, 6 months ago
It’s the moment, while meditating, between having your eyes open and closed; not open yet not closed: the in-between place where all places are one place, where all things become possible, where magic happens. I try for it at least once a fortnight, even after 20 years. I think I’m getting closer but you will know when I get there – you’ll see me.
Sara Lamond, 6 months ago
Lol, I admit to doing this as well….
Yes, light switches are on and off. Most people are on and off.
The key is to install a dimmer, or rather activate your body’s internal “dimmer”, allowing you to fade in and out from one state to another as required…. :) The world needs more dimmers.
Great analogy :)
demon, 6 months ago
lol…good one Mark…I like Saras thinking with the dimmer…
Mark German, 6 months ago
See you there, Baf ;)
LisaG, 6 months ago
At nights I sometimes half close my eyes, actually they are almost closed fully. I am convinced I see what appears to be a movie before my eyes…at times it seems so real. This does not occur every time I try this.
Could be an in-between place, or it could be a wishful tricksy mind….
Brad Sumner GLP, 6 months ago
Great story, Mark, and I hate reading prose! (Not really, I just don’t do it too often) I too, am a light switch “tweener”! lol
mick8585, 6 months ago
nice analogy mate. Let’s all aim for the ‘inbetween’ place.
What have I started here?
Sara Lamond, 6 months ago
I think you’ve both revealed that people are not “On” or “Off” – we are all somewhere “in between”. Some of us just aren’t aware of the fact.
Adriana Glackin, 6 months ago
When I was little, I too wanted to find that in-between spot, but was always too frightened in case the electricity would come out and zap me for playing with it. Even now, I don’t linger when I switch the light on and off, in case I linger for that extra nano second too long.
in life, maybe we’re all too scared to be in the in-between, in case we get zapped by the electricity that is life.
marieancolie, 6 months ago
You wish it could be neither night nor day, and stand there in this in-between world for a while.
Just experience it once, the next time you see an eclipse…. it is neither night, nor day,
it’s the in-between too…..
However, the pressure with the switch is the way we live, many tensions surrounding us,
Over the hill there are demons.. we need to go and try to observe them,and we go and see over the next hill..and go again….. always in the in-between.. Can also be an incomfortable way,
but it also a challenge to reach the true balance. We are funambulists and we like it.
Suzanne German, 6 months ago
Mark – this is the most interesting thing I;ve read of yours! wow – amazing!
And it is an immediate favourite!
What an amazing space to take a reader to….love it !!!!!!! lots!!!!
umauma, 6 months ago
There is a space between the ‘tick’ and the ‘tock’..a space between the ‘inbreath’ and the ‘outbreath’.
Mark German, 6 months ago
Thank you, Uma – yes, there is.
Hard to find – looking for it makes it disappear – like sunspots do.