I’m sitting down, my legs shaking my ribs aching, my head spinning
Through the haze, I see his face – so familiar and yet he has taken on the appearance of an angel. The light streaming down behind his back looks exactly like translucent angel-wings
I giggle a little – he slaps me. He grabs my ears – they hurt, somewhere. He puts his face to mine – and through the metallic blood-taste, I smell his breath. He yells at me.
“Who are you? Look at me! Who the fuck are you?”
I mumble an answer, and he slaps me again. It’s ok – I’m numb – I can’t feel this kind of thing anymore.
“Peter. Peter Morton. I’m Peter Morton”
My voice rises. A little strength flows upwards from my belly.
He takes a deep breath. Time is slowed, and I await the exhalation of alcoholic mist.
He exhales.
“Peter Morton. Yeah, that’s who you are.
And you know what, son? This is it. This is the fucking end. This is the beginning. There is no other time, for you. Nothing that has ever happened to you is important. Nothing you remember, nothing you wished for, hated, loved and cried over exists anymore. There is blackness behind you. Not Grey – it’s a lightless fucking Black.
Your future is nothing. There is nothing in front of you. You have no dreams, no desires, no hopes. You do not have a family. Are you fucking listening to me? You have nothing, you come from nothing. You are not doing this for anyone. Your family is nothing. Your wife, your kid – they’ve fucking disappeared.
THIS here is the moment”
My body is blind, my mind is electric. I am disassociated. He is still staring, piercing, drilling me.
“Any second now, your heaven will arrive. It is the one moment you have lived for, from your beginning to your end, which is now. You are Called, Peter. A Calling comes only once. This is your Calling. You’ve felt it inside you from the moment you were born. That feeling you were special? No, you aren’t special, no more special then everyone else. But you can make yourself special, Peter. We all can, but hardly anyone ever does.
There – 15 seconds to go, son. You will soon feel a hot white light on you. It will be your cloak and your strength. Your body is your vehicle. It is not you, it is your tool. You will not feel pain. Your mind is automatic. Everything you have ever learned can now be forgotten. Trust your mind and let it do its thing. The real you is not in your body.”
Something is shoved in my mouth.
The bell rings.
I stand up, unusually light.
Am I really standing….? – my mind fades to nothing – and a white light descends over me as I float towards the centre…
Lisa Jewell
Exceptional writing, I was on the edge of my seat from start to finish…..
A great deal is conveyed in this story…..
MattT
It’s amazing that you’ve put this on tje bubble, when I’m watching the restaurant scenefrom the Godfather. Great timing mate. Apretty tense piece of writing.
Jessica Tremp
Mark, this gave me goosebumps…
MissKristy
OooOoooo…I was hooked from beginning to end also.
Intriguing read..filled with tension and suspense. Lovely.
John Segon-Fis...
Brilliant expressive writing, Mark
Suzanne German
woah…....I like the blends here of existentialism at its heightened sense of utter crisis and then transcendance from the physical to the ethereal…...like a second life/death/life…...very very very good bro’ – love it!
suzanne
melissa spalding
woow! i dont know what more to say, just wow! i love it! i agre with every one else!! awesome piece
Suzanne German
on second read mark…like hte name you’ve chosen…..Peter Morton
—-in my eagerness to read it the first time forgot to comment about it!Who is grim who is reaping?
Mark German
Very clever, Suzanne ;)
Suzanne German
yes – you are mark!
luv ya’ suz xoxox
Mark German
...but there’s a lot more to work out… :)
twistedson
That is such a wicked piece, the experience so well articualted that you can touch it and feel it at the base of your spine. Really love your words!
transmute
This just fucking rocks Mark
Barkertron
This grabbed me right from the start, and parts of it echo deep within me!!! im no philosopher, but i love things like this that get you thinking about things… And this piece certainly got me thinking!! id love to write something as profound as this!!
Mark German
Thanks, guys.
Barkerton – this may sound weird coming from me, but I go back to this and read it again every few days. Because it was a bit of an out-pouring, from deep inside. There have been many times when I’ve drawn – had to draw – strength from telling myself what you read up there. And so it means a tremendous amount to me. It sustains me, and humbles me simultaneously.
Anne van Alkemade
oh that is so brutal
well done!!!
Wegwoman
Great writing. Antithesis… MIND vs. BODY. It drew me in. It would make a great play.
Bruce Watson
You seemed to have channelled something universally resonant here Mark. Above you wrote ‘sustaining’ and ‘humbling’, and I know that unmistakeable recognition of a reality far more profound than that to which we are usually accustomed. There is cetainly inherent power in the piece, because any astute, articulate description of a state of being carries with it a viable and accessible link to that state – if we are open to it. Now I think I’ll go and revisit the movies ‘Jacob’s Ladder’ or ‘Dead Man’.
Symmetry44
Riveting would be an injustice Mark…let’s try captivating!
Lorraine Creagh
Excellent Mark, you had my attention from start to finish.
Quasarman
Spread the ket
Leon Walker
This is both amazing and telling. Congratulations on your freedom.
anaisnais
Wow this is a good one! You write prolifically well done. You can hold the suspense with perfection and now ….can I have the next chapter….please?
simonesleeps
Kept my ridiculously short attention, that is a feat of it’s own. Remarkable, although I think I’ll read that again…
jianina
This is a great piece but it just doesn’t feel done! I wanted to keep reading…maybe im just being greeding wanting more of your vivid words to feel the burning white light…its riviving almost to have an inhanced description of a dramatic change.
Mark German
replied
Yes, I know what you mean.
I’ll let you into a little secret.
What you have read above, is how I feel on a daily basis. I am waiting for the ‘call’, which is yet to come. And maybe, it never will. And so, there is no continuation – yet.
jianina
Is the mirror your Peter?...thats probably why its a re-occuring feeling!...who is MARK?
Will Moreno
No fair I want to know what happens, Really good work I was with you the whole way
Rhana Griffin
How does it feel to be stripped bare… to have everything you have ever known, everyone you have ever loved, everything you ever thought you were torn to shreds. To have your carefully constructed perception of yourself, the world around you and your place in it ripped into pieces and tossed away like so much confetti?
How can you hope to rebuild when you only have a vague idea of how to decipher the design matrix?
Stormygirl
Wow, very good I couldn’t stop reading. I had chills.
gypsycaster
I had a wild ride reading this…I’m the person who always wants to know who and where and what , so my brain was pumping out answers as I was reading….Angel, devil, drill sargent, coach….soul in torment, soul in bliss, soldier, boxer….
Dark and fantastic, human and more…really superb.
LostBoy
gave me chills a bit too!
Xen Pow
Ok I’m officially a fan. This is IT
Stephen Mitchell
Yes. Love it. Words to heed: Everything you have ever learned can now be forgotten. Trust your mind and let it do its thing. The real you is not in your body Succinct, straightforward.
Sharon Mau
The tension is palpable, the altered state of reality is visual, and the resignation in an absence of fear is arresting.
Mary Campbell
Alcholism, child abuse, boxing.. to write this deep takes some real life experiences.