The Ding-blasted, Reluctant New Stove

THANKS for the FEATURE in
EVERYONE’S A COMMEDIAN!
June 2011
a_ TRIBUTE to usless progress!_
__________________________
Today I ‘supervised’ young Ryan (Wendy’s son, 18, and Phil (our dear friend, Kelly’s age) while they tore out the mush that used to be our floor in front of the to.the.floor window, and put another section of new fooring down. Ryan caulked it today, and will paint the new part tomorrow. Or something. Anyway, ‘the boys’ did a great job and that’s why I fed them dinner. They earned it. I fixed steelhead and stir fry.

I have this new stove, see, one of these ‘Induction’ jobbies… Wendy runs it just fine, and I’ve been able to run it when Wendy’s here. And even once by myself!
But not this afternoon. Nope, not a chance.

The ding-blasted thing’s got touch.on / touch.off buttons, then you set the level of heat in the burner. Excuse me, not ‘burner’, it’s a Cooking Zone. Nothing burns on these things; not for that price!

(For the interested, the switches and controls are probably FETs, field effect transistors; related to touch lamps. They work off the normal electrical field that a human body puts out. I can stop watches, but I can’t start my stove. What’s the deal?)

Well, it just wouldn’t work for me. I had fish to fry and stir to fry…. but the stove stubbornly refused to accept my commands. I tried: Heaven knows I tried. I tried lots of times. The boys were looking at me, wondering if they were really going to get fed or not.
I should have asked one of them to turn the stove on, but I didn’t want any of them to get a big head about it. They knew better than to offer to help. All the guys know me well enough to laugh at me, and not hurt my feelings, but they were trying to stay straight.faced. And they wanted to see what I’d do.

So, I just shrugged, you know? What else can you do?

After about twenty tries, I hauled out the old trusty electric frying pan and started the stir fry, and put the fish on a cookie sheet, sliding it into the circulating air oven at 350 degrees for I don’t know how many minutes. Not many, really.

Both items came out okay and at the same time. So it worked, and we all had a good laugh over it, and Phil took Ryan home and once they were gone, I told Kelly, who had been in bed (bed.bound) while I was fiddling with the stove, that it simply wouldn’t obey me!

“Oh?” he said. “Come with me!” and he got into his electric wheel chair and led me to the kitchen. “You just do this” and touched the on/off button, “and that,” and touched the temperature control. He had me do it, I did, and it worked. I did it twice! Success both times. Never again. That was the last time. Is it the electrical field, or is it a matter of scaring the thing into working? I can’t scare a cat; no wonder I couldn’t run it!

I don’t know. I do know that I hold a degree in electronics, but that doesn’t mean I understand the daily operations of electronic things. I don’t think anybody does. Things just work. Or they don’t. That’s all it boils (or stir frys) down to.

© 07 Apr 2011, RedBubble.com
Dayonda Stribling
Dayonda … “Dandy”

The Ding-blasted, Reluctant New Stove

Dayonda

Joined March 2008

Artist's Description

One woman’s wrestle with the newest in cooking appliances…

Sorry you can’t see much of Stove # 3, but I can use it and the cats (obviously) love it! I should have grabbed a cat and stuck its paw on the switch. Bet that would have worked!

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