The transformation of Cerbil Penfold to a rat by that bastard Ron Weasley.
This was something to tide me over until J.K Rowlings realises she can only write Harry Potter books and has to do another series.
then my son pointed out with a thick slab of sarcasm that this was “fan fiction”
I then decided that I really didn’t like the series that much.
But I kept the familiar characters so I didn’t have to go into great long boring character development to tell the start of an on going story.
Actually that’s all bullshit, I just wanted to put the “Rain Man” quip in a story.
No gasmasks were hurt in the writing of this story.
NOW
Even the thickest of students knew the first and most important rule of wand craft:The fat bit you hold, the thinner end where the sparks come out always points away.
These were the last thing that went through Cerbil mind as he watched his wand fall to the ground and the pointy bit with the sparks was aiming straight at him.
He didn’t even get to finish his last words as a human, it ended something like
“Fuuuceeeeeek”
BEFORE
Cerbil Penfold was playing bad guy to Eric Spinethorp’s badder guy as they interrogated the man sitting at the table in the dungeon type room that was the basement of the most feared wizard in Europe: Lord Chandor.
The red haired man at the table had been caught spying on the Master and now Cerbil and Eric wanted to know what it was he had found out.
“You’re a dickhead Weasley, how did you think we wouldn’t recognize you?” Cerbil yelled at their victim.
Weasley just sneered at him.
“Are you so stupid to think we have never read a paper or had a casual conversation with anyone in the wizard community?” Cerbil slammed his hands onto the table and put his face inches from Weasley’s. “You think we wouldn’t recognize the late and great Harry Potter’s best friend?”
Weasley looked Cerbil in the eye, that trademark Weasley sneer still smeared across his face.
“If he were alive today you’d be a bit more cautious, the Ministry will find me and if they don’t, I will. I never forget a face”
“Here, memorize this Rain Man” yelled Eric as he slapped Weasley off his chair with the Metropolitan white pages phone book.
“Good one Eric, the oldies are the goldies” laughed Cerbil.
“Thanks Cerb, anyway Weasley how great a wizard was Potter? To kill himself scratching his nose with his wand and blowing his brains out?”
Ron Weasley dearly wanted to scream that Harry’s death was a horrible accident but lay still to create the illusion he had been knocked out.
It took every fibre of his being to do so.
Hermione had had some influence over him that had stuck, patience being one of them.
“Hey Eric I think you may have broke him” laughed Cerbil “Oh well I think it’s time we taught Big Red here a lesson on snooping”
Cerbil pulled out his wand and proceeded to do a transmorph curse.
Weasley recognized the start of the deadly charm and with his fingers did another thing he was grateful to Hermione for teaching him. He worked a simple hand spell.
Something most wizards forget when they mastered wandcraft and considered hand magic child’s play.
Weasley uttered the simple spell under his breath and with a twitch of his fingers directed it at Eric.
The simple little sneeze spell had catastrophic effect on Eric who sneezed just as he finished the chant part of the curse and dropped his wand.
Eric copped the full blast of the curse and the wand snapped in two as his body fell on top of it and transmorphed into a common rat.
NOW – AGAIN
“What the..?” yelled Eric and kicked Weasley as hard as he could in the head sending blood flying and knocking him senseless.
“You bastard”
Eric saw the rat and Cerbil’s broken wand and knew Cerbil was finished. No one could reverse that spell especially with the casting wand destroyed.
Cerbil was doomed to remain a rat for the rest of his life.
Eric raised his wand and aimed it at Cerbil in a sense of duty to his fallen friend.
He sent a blast at the Rat just as the door opened and no other then Lord Chandon stuck his head in.
Cerbil the rat bolted out through the opening and ran down the hall as Eric stood there with a blank look on his face.
“What is going on here Spinethorp?, why are you shooting at me, where is Penfold? And why the hell is Weasley bleeding from his ears like that?”
This was going to take some explaining thought Eric, and for a second actually thought of pointing the wand at his own head.
It would probably be easier.
Anne van Alkemade
This is ‘classic Danny’. Is there no epic children’s tale spared from your razor wit.
:o))
Danny
replied
Thanks my dear
sjem ©
I enjoyed that.
And I haven’t read any Harry Potter books.
Danny
replied
You should, they are quite entertaining – though Lucan would have me drawn and quartered for admitting or even announcing that.
sjem ©
Am I allowed to say that Hermione is hot ?
Cathie Tranent
@ sjem.
No.
Cathie Tranent
I’ll be back – ran out of smoko!!
Ange
i refuse to read potter…
love the ending thought of pointing the wand at his own head
good stuff danny:)
Cathryn Swanson
I loved reading Harry Potter.
Chapters like this, would have made it even betterer though :)
Cathie Tranent
Hmm .. worth the trip back ….
You can’t just plonk us in the middle like that … you have to write the rest now!!
Danny
replied
A story about a rat hmmmmmm
try this
Cathie Tranent
I already read that – the first time. More.
Shoaib .
“Fuuuceeeeeek”
haha
genius