Hey all,
I’ve commented in the past about how RedBubble isn’t really a place for teaching and learning.. I mean the capabilities are there in the form of critique forums and the like, but it’s not really part of the goals of the site. Which is fair enough.
However, I truly believe if I’m not improving in whatever I’m doing I might as well not be doing it. Which leads me to this. I know that there are many talented photographers, artists and illustrators following me, and so I’m going to ask you guys for help.
What I’d like to do is occasionally, when time permits, do an illustration purely as a test of a style, technique, or ability. Then I’ll post it and add a journal entry asking you guys for feedback. If you’ve got the time and inclination to hop on and tell me honestly what you think I will be forever grateful. I really want to hear what isn’t quite right, and hopefully suggestions for how I could improve, what I should do differently, even ideas for future experiments to help me. The improvement is the key. So if my lighting is shabby (which it is) what should I be doing to get better.
I’ll open with this illustration I posted a couple of days back.
This was an idea I had, and I started sketching and decided what the hell, I might as well have at it with a biro. Usually I’ll scan a sketch and move stuff around to get it right before jumping in to “ink” it, which is why this has some not-quite-right elements to it. I also decided to colour it very basically in painter because I liked the effect :)
Let me kick it off – The figure proportions are a bit dodgy. I’m not so concerned about the more cartoony style of the face, but I think maybe the head is a bit big, the arms too thick and generally everything is a bit stumpy. The angle is also a bit weird.. I was hoping it’d look a bit like someone lying on a hill, with the city off in the distance.. but I’m not sure how to get the hill to look right.
I like the monster, especially the shading of the head which matches up to the background.. I think this helps make it look gigantic. I was a bit worried about this.. again, I’m not sure how to represent the distance properly to make it look a long way away. Suggestions on this would be most appreciated.
Oh, and my shading is a bit dodgy. Maybe I need to work from photos a bit more.
Okay, well yeah, any advice or feedback you might have would be most appreciated. I assure you I will listen and take on board all of it, and hopefully you’ll see some improvement in the next experiment. Any suggestions for what I should try out next would be good too.
Cheers :)
Damien
Michael Alesich
Hey Damien, Personally I’m not too much of a stickler for perspective or rules in drawing but I know what you mean about something not feeling quite right. Two comments. The figure seems to be fine with the only thing, for me, feeling out of place being the angle of the foot closest to the bottom. For some reason everything else seems natural but that just seems awkward.
The persective seems fine only with some thoughts of texturing the hill. And defining the edge against the buildings behind. They seem to be sitting on the top of it and not behind it.
I hope that’s what you’re asking for.
Anita Inverarity
I think its looking cool- I love the monster and the two things Michael said are the only two things I would say too- A bit of texture/shade in the hill to show the curvature and maybe look at the angle of that foot, how the legs lie.
But hey I’m giving advice on what I “see” not what I can “do” lol- I’m rubbish at this kind of illustration, which calls for a bit of perspective.
Hope that helps x
stevegrig
the first thing i did notice was the angle of the left foot. apart from that, really its quite good.
Matt Simner
Really like the image Damien (and the critique idea). It’s funny how different people see different things. Here goes, based on what I see…
For me the main thing is just reinforcing the scale with ‘something’ (shading to show the curvature, a tree or two?) on the hill to connect the size of the characters with their surroundings. Also I find it a little difficult to gauge how close the monster is to the top of the hill as half of the body is presumably hidden. Would be interesting to see how it looked with the monster just moved to the left edge – almost ‘enter stage left’ :) (or even flipped and coming in from the right)
Still love the monster’s expression regardless :)
kangarookid
basically, what the others said… but also, his upper right leg seems like it should be brought to a more upright angle… other than that, the curvature of the hill, and his left foot, it seems fine… this piece has a lot of potential, and would look even cooler with those things adjusted… hope this helps :)))!
Paul McClintock
So, I figured he was lying on a beach rather than a hill, so if you’re going for grass, I’d darken it up a bit (you don’t necessarily need texture). I agree with people about the foot looking awkward, like he’s stretching his calf muscle too much.
I would flip the entire background horizontally (either that or the foreground) so you’ve got both the monster and the human kind of facing the same direction. This should be piss easy since the hill in featureless between the foreground and background. This should (in my estimation) also make the hill look less wonky as a side effect (but the only way to know is to try it), since the horizon is kind of lop-sided, I think it would be better if it was lopsides towards the opposite side.
Also, the moleskine is perfect.
Paul McClintock
ignore my typo’s
o0OdemocrazyO0o
hey nice!
I like the simple colour tone (i think it helps make this piece) if you wanted to be more adventurous you could branch out and put in some textures eg cu paper or cardboard etc…
Also i think a sinister shadow for the monsters arm would help make it “reach” out…
I like what you have done to start with so nothing major…
If you wanted to (tho i am not so fussed about perspective etc being exact) you could give the curved perspective a bit more grunt by making the persons back more curved with the angle [Good god demo you make no sense! – Editor]
Keep up the good work :D
Troy Evans
Some more fearless shadowing would be nice.
I really like the general feeling of it, and some bolder shadows (in any dark tone except black) would give it more depth, I think.
jumpy
to help with the distance you could add texture on the ground the boy is asleep on where the grass/sand/dirt looks bigger at the front of screen (you could exaggerate it a bit) and tiny at the back .. also shade the ground like others have said
rubyred
You could try varying the line weights. Bolder lines around the figure would bring him forward. At the moment the background and the figure look like they’re on the same plane, almost as if he’s leaning on a wall that the monster is peering over. Sometimes even subtle changes in line weight can make a big difference.
Nick Ford
I was thinkin a shadow falling behind the boy, up the hill, to tie him down a bit better …. but after reading Demo’s post, a big shadow off the monster (falling forward) may be better …. with a stronger shadow shadow down the boys left. …… i’m diggin the sketchy vibe.
DocG
Hi Damian
I can’t speak from a drawing perspective but only from my perspective as a photographer, my opinion and finally as a genuine fan of your work. I like the idea, the drawing and the colours used. What is lacking for me is in the composition. The figure and the monster are in the top left and bottom leftand it feels like there is something missing in the right hand side. I would either put the monster in the top right or move the person to bottom right whilst correcting for perspective.
Anyway, my 2 cents worth.
I hope you are well.
Regards
George
Alice Oates
Hello
I’m not hugely experienced, so I hope you don’t mind my input. I would be the opposite of your opinion personally. I really like the person, but I think that there is a little too much empty space between the man and the city, and agree with the above comment that the right is quite empty.
o0OdemocrazyO0o
yes there is a bit of “white space” between the character and the chaos of the city… but maybe this is his idea.. .the dude is just lounging around day dreaming up his next awesome art work…hes left the city to get a bit of piece of mind?