The Exuberance of Youth
A Sugar High entry, this one for the WMG.
The Exuberance of Youth belongs to the following groups:
Practising the Dark Arts, Short stories - Spherical Scriptings and WMGThe kids were coming. The sun hadn’t even set and he could see them filling the street, eager and excited, bouncing at the idea of bags of sugary sweets.
He didn’t mind their noise and games. We were all young once, and he treasured the exuberance of youth. A bag of sweets was a small expense to help foster the idea of trusting your neighbours. Such a thought used to go without saying, but it had nearly faded away to nothing but a distant memory.
Two young boys raced each other to his large door, panting for breath as they knocked.
‘Trick or treat!’ they yelled.
‘Treat, lads,’ he said, dipping his aged hand into the calico bag. The boys stared in anticipation at the brightly coloured candies that rained into their sacks.
They both stuffed a small handful into their mouths and crunched away, collapsing before they could take another step.
The old man slid them inside his door and dragged them one at a time down to his basement.
The machine was older than the house. He had brought it here from the old world; the one thing he prized.
With the children strapped in, the occult force powering it drained the life of the children, and soon a revitalised youth stood in the place of the old man.
He laughed to himself. ‘The exuberance of youth; a taste so sweet! I love Halloween.’
Constructive criticism welcome. © 2008 Damian Herde
navybrat
sweet youthful exuberance!! well put!!
Damian replied
LOL, thanks :)
ChrisErond
Nice. Dark, and sinister. I miss the times when you heard stories like that to scare you even more when you went to knock on someone’s door for the treats. Alot better than the poisened Mars bars storys the police gave us. 7/10.. A bit short, and missing some nice details. Then again, perhaps it’s for our own imaginations to decide how he would have done it.
....
X-D
Damian replied
Cheers Chris, glad you liked it. Just having a bit of quick fun without getting too dark :)
ChainmailChick
I love cautionary tales. Especially ones with occult powered machines. =)
Damian replied
LOL, we don’t really do the trick or treating here, so hadn’t even thought of it as a cautionary tale :)
You should see my other occult powered machine…. bwah ha haa… :)
ChainmailChick
Love to. LOL
Damian replied
Oh, you got me now… LOL!
I actually did find it last night, as a story fragment while I was rumaging through story notes and ideas for NaNoWriMo (okay, I’m starting to freak out as it draws nearer…!).
Matthew Dalton
Hi Damien. I was just thinking I hadn’t seen anything from you for a while when this wee gem popped up. I like it.
Damian replied
Hi Matthew, I know, been a bit absentee! The day job has been running me ragged for a while, but I’m currently sitting in the eye of the storm! I’ll see what I can generate before I disappear again :)
ChainmailChick
Don’t freak, lol. Just write. =)
Damian replied
LOL :)
I think spending last night in their forums wasn’t actually the positive help I’d gone looking for!
ChainmailChick
I only visited them briefly; knew I’d get sucked in and write loads of posts, but no novel. LOL
Damian replied
Well, there’s that too. But I came away questioning my choice of story idea (one I’ve been thinking of for ages), thinking I’m meant to be doing something more spontaneous (hey, I’m all for spontaneity though).
darkestartist
hmmm…is he in that rickety white house on the corner with the porch swing? i think I know this guy lol. nice short tale…i’d rather feel younger by eating lots of chocolate, myself ;) nice one, Damian
Damian replied
LOL, thanks darkest :)
Lots of chocolate works for me too. Or chocolate coating… LOL!
KMFalcon
loved it! Nothing quite so succulent as essence of youth. mwhahaha
Damian replied
Heheh, thanks! Essence of youth goes well with steak and a nice red :)
ChainmailChick
Yeah, I know. I’m considering using my Kitrel and their genjara having a future adventure (maybe while trying to raise a kitling or three?) because I like those characters so much. Or maybe jumping waaaay ahead in the Huntress series and making one of those titles into a 50k work. Or, or….well, shit. We’ll see what happens come Nov. 1st when I actually make a start on it. I do have that werewolf pack running around.
Ooh, or I could bring Selwyn and Bleddyn back for a full adventure that takes place after those two shorts I wrote on’em.
That would be fun.
Decisions, decisions.
The rules state that as long as you start from scratch (not counting outlines/character descrips), you can work on a previous idea. Just don’t use anything you’ve already written.
I don’t like to plan that much (gee, big surprise, huh?). I threw out last years’ outline, characters and notes to start with a first line.
It worked out. =)
Damian replied
So many options for you! And they all sound good :)
My previous idea is one I started a few years ago, wrote a few chapters, but stopped cos my writing was rubbish. Put it on hold while I practiced with short stories. So it would need to be rewritten, but it just feels like it’s hovering in grey areas…
But I’ve got another couple of story ideas that need writing as well. One horror and the other sci-fi. Or I could just run with something completely different…
Pinkpapayabec
I didn’t expect that! LOVED it!
Damian replied
Thanks! Glad you didn’t see it coming :)
ChainmailChick
How about a horror/scifi mashup? Something like Jason in Space…just a helluva lot better? =)
Damian replied
Haha! That sounds like a story worth reading!
I’ll tell you what I’m thinking, see what you like :)
ChainmailChick
Cool beans! =)
Thatsmymuffin
I love the idea, definitely original =D
Also can’t help but like the boldness of child victims – not a big decision in my eyes and all’s fair in love, war and novels – but some people would have withdrawn from the idea. Obviously the fantastic concept wouldn’t have worked without the victims being children but I admire the boldness all the same ^^
Damian replied
Haha, thanks John! And I liked the way these kids were giving something back to an older generation, LOL! All in fun :)
gypsycaster
Well done! I love this one….creepy, sinister…perfect!
Say…does that “other” machine have anything to do with the chocolate in the other story?
Or is that the Cthulhu one??
Damian replied
Thanks Gypsy :)
Ooo, I don’t want to say what sort of machine would fit in with the chocolate story…! LOL :)
And I’ve got another occult machine already built in a story fragment. I should dust it off and take it for a test drive. It’s much more impresive than the little one in this story ;)
Danny
hahaha
Very evil Damian.
Top marks
Damian replied
Is it really so evil to make a good use of little kids? Haha, kidding of course. The machine wasted some bits, so it wasn’t a completely good use! ;)
Lawford
Fabulous. Made me laugh. Is that wrong?
Damian replied
Not at all! Laugh away :)
gypsycaster
Hmmm…evil machines are gooood!
Damian replied
LOL, especially when they’re being bad :)
PJ Ryan
mwahahahhaaaaaaaaaa so evil
(she says with her pinky finger in the corner of her mouth)
well done damian :)
Damian replied
LOL, thanks Nicole! Or is that Doctor Nicole? :)
Cathryn Swanson
Very evil!
Excellent!
Damian replied
Thanks Cathryn :)
Banalheed
Right having now read and scored each story in the WMG Sugar High Halloween challenge, I thought it only fair I leave a comment too: As I’d expect of you Damian, brilliantly written and expertly executed!
Damian replied
Thanks Darren, I’m glad you thought so :)
PJ Ryan
LOL
Doctor Nicole
giggle
Banalheed
Congratulations Damian! A deserving winner.
Judi Taylor
Congratulations Damian!!! Excellent writing … a real winner!
greeneyedlady
creepy, spooky, scary….all that’s missing is the flashlight under your face!!! congratulations damian…think i’ll keep my kid home next year….=)
Vladimir Garci...
Congrats damian keep up the good work!
Midori Furze
Congratulations, Damian!!!
Cathryn Swanson
Well done Damian.
Great story!
Miri
hahaha i like that he at least used them for something…i can almost forgive him ;)
nicely done
Marty Yokawonis
nicely twisted Damien
xxfaithxx
yep liked the idea of lollies and an occult machine… youth always has its problems lol especially when we try and keep it!
Micky McGuinness
I like the idea, though I am intrigued to know if you meant Europe; or quite literally a different world. A great well written read.
Damian
Thanks everyone for the comments and for reading :)