The Club (Story)

Author: Damian
Word Count: 457
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‘You’re such a drama queen!’
Rikki-May huffed and rolled her eyes theatrically. ‘You’d know, wouldn’t you, Julie.’
Julie glared daggers at her friend’s back. ‘I was going to help you, Rikki, but you’re such a bitch. Work it out yourself!’
Rikki realised she’d pushed Julie too far and turned to placate her, too late, as the door slammed in her face. ‘Shit!’ she screamed. She hadn’t thought Julie would actually leave.

Julie fumed all the way to her car. All she ever seemed to do was help Rikki solve her problems. Every day it was something else. She’d listen to her talk and talk while trying to sooth her and think of ways to stop her from creating huge fights with their friends over little misunderstandings. Rikki was left feeling better from talking through her issues, their friends were shielded from a random Rikki-attack, but Julie felt the weight passed on to her.

Today she had seen the way things were going, and knew she was in for a heavy day of crisis counselling. She hadn’t minded in the beginning, as she had thought she was being helpful and useful. Eventually she learnt that it didn’t matter what the problem was. With one solved, there was always another. Rikki seemed to thrive on the intense emotional drama of conflict, and whether it was small or imaginary didn’t matter.

Well, enough! Julie took her opportunity and left, short-circuiting the loop of dialogue before it also became wound tightly around her. She knew she was making herself the target of a new Rikki crisis, featuring her as the evil friend. But honestly, if she had to listen to one more of Rikki’s self-worshiping stories, she would’ve slapped her.

Julie messaged another of her friends, Liz, before she left Rikki’s, and drove to meet up for coffee. When she arrived, she saw many of her other friends were there as well.
‘Hey, what’s the party for?’
Her friends laughed while she sat. ‘Welcome to the club, hon.’
‘What?’
‘I’ve got one, I’ve got one!’ shrieked Liz, and they all huddled around to read her text message. ‘Julie was telling me how much she hated your outfit the other night, but don’t tell her I told you.’
‘Is that Rikki-May?!’ Julie asked in amazement.

The circle of friends laughed. ‘She doesn’t take long, but it doesn’t matter, because there isn’t a girl here who cares what she thinks anymore.’
Julie smiled as all the pieces fell into place. Liz raised her latte, ‘A toast for the newest member of the ‘Rikki-May’s a manipulative bitch’ club.’

Constructive criticism welcome.

The Club (Story)

My “queen” story for the seventy two hours challenge in the Short Stories group, using the idea of drama queen.

It feels a bit funny writing something like this, but I guess I can’t always do fantasy/horror/sci-fi (or can I? LOL).

The Club (Story) belongs to the following groups:

Short stories - Spherical Scriptings

Anne van Alkemade, 4 months ago

LOL. Oh yeah, I’ve been there … and would you believe at my ‘advanced’ maturity, quite recently too!!!

Damian, this has a rather “sad” feminine insight. I just don’t see blokes involved in this kind of intrique. Not suggesting anything here mate, but wondering none-the-less have you been watching Big Brother????
mlgkats, 4 months ago

awesome writing again as , i think people have been there one time or the other
Damian in reply to Anne van Alkemade’s comment, 4 months ago

LOL, that’s so funny Anne :)
I’m pleased that you thought there was feminine insight, sad or otherwise. Regretably, this behaviour isn’t female only, and I can relate to elements of this from the workplace, so luckily not anyone I’d call a friend :)
I’ve watched BB before, quite a lot at times, but have avoided it almost completely this year.
Damian in reply to mlgkats’s comment, 4 months ago

Thanks Mel :)
I think you’re right too, there wouldn’t be too many people who would escape meeting this sort of person at some time.
mlgkats, 4 months ago

that is so true there is one in every crowed as we would put it
jcmontgomery, 4 months ago

Its almost like you had a hidden camera set-up somewhe….hey, wait a minute? Naw. I way over across the other side of the world. But I swear, this seems sooooo familiar…

Well done!

The only critique I would offer is formatting: spaces between paragraphs and to clarify dialog. Otherwise, another splendid work.
Damian in reply to jcmontgomery’s comment, 4 months ago

Haha, glad it seemed familiar :)
I’ll have to have the cameras moved…!

And I’ll have a look over the formatting too, thanks :)
Jen Wahl, 4 months ago

Very well-written! It is amazing how absolutely true this story is…. maybe you should have it copied and passed out to all 5th or 6th graders… to give them better insight on the “bitch” that will certainly be in their near future. I really enjoyed this.
Damian in reply to Jen Wahl’s comment, 4 months ago

Thanks Jen, glad you enjoyed it!
LOL, school-book training! Love it :)
Alison Pearce, 4 months ago

Fabulous story Damian!
Damian in reply to Alison Pearce’s comment, 4 months ago

Thanks Alison :)
I must admit to feeling a bit naked with this one, without any supernatural elements to hide behind, LOL!
Alison Pearce, 4 months ago

I know what you mean Damian! I find myself being able to weave something horrible out of the most innocuos prompts but can’t seem to write to many comtemporary stuff! You pulled this off beautifully! No one would ever guess from this that you are one of us….mowaaaarr!!
Damian in reply to Alison Pearce’s comment, 4 months ago

LOL, glad there’s more of us out there, hiding the horror behind a facade of the mundain :)
Empress, 3 months ago

ohhhh, deserves a double latte and biscotti.
WanderingAuthor, 3 months ago

You pulled this off very well. It was completely believable to me, and you managed it without any special effects, props, or anything else of the sort. Great story!
Damian in reply to Empress’s comment, 3 months ago

Ooo that sounds good! Thanks Kate :)
Damian in reply to WanderingAuthor’s comment, 3 months ago

Thanks WanderingAuthor! Yes, I’m usually a fan of a large special effects budget in my writing, LOL! Glad this rang true.
Miri, 3 months ago

there is supernatural involved – they’re female aren’t they ;-)?
seriously good story & good insight into the darker side of the female mind!
Zolton, 3 months ago

Ha ha. Great stuff. Loved this “random Rikki-attack”.
Damian in reply to Miri’s comment, 3 months ago

LOL, thanks Bex, glad you liked it :)
Scarily, the inspiration for this one comes from a male!
Damian in reply to Zolton’s comment, 3 months ago

Thanks Zolton! Heheh, I liked that bit too :)
Gayla Drummond, 3 months ago

LOL…I loved it, Damian. It’s a familiar scene (especially during high school!!! what with all the cliques and such), and you did a wonderful job bringing it to life.
Danny, 3 months ago

Your insight to female mind worries me Damian, is Damian a non-de-plume for Debbie?
Scary :)
Damian in reply to Gayla Drummond’s comment, 3 months ago

Thanks Gayla :)
Glad you liked it!
Damian in reply to Danny’s comment, 3 months ago

Hahaha! Thanks Danny, that comment cracked me up :)
If I take on a female non-de-plume, I’ll be sure to use Debbie, LOL!
Nicholas Johnston, 3 months ago

I really enjoyed this story, you did a great job and it’s by no means a scenario exclusive to women. Believe me. This rang true for me, too.
gynnirox, 3 months ago

H.M.D.G. LOL!
(Help Me Dear God)
loved it!
sounds way too familiar to all of us, but hey, girls are bitches (yes i curse, get over it!) and guys are dickheads!
brilliant!
deliriousgirl, 3 months ago

HAAA!!! What a fabulous campy romp!!! Loved this!!!
Paolo, 3 months ago

LOL I could not have put it better than delirious girl.

Makes me want to slam the door on my many superfluous friendships just to start a club in their honour.
Debbie King, 3 months ago

I totally understand this. I get so tired of the same person coming up telling me all their problems, and all of the advice in the world can’t cure their ills if they keep searching out the same situations.
And yes, my husband deals with the same ole stuff, too. He’s finally gotten to where he will just hold his hand up and say he doesn’t want to hear about it.
SuliHawk, 3 months ago

Very well done Damian! Such wording as “turned to placate her, too late, ” delved quickly into the hidden play. Good movement and drama throughout.
Moral; the advance of text messaging does not give us enough time to think before responding emotionally thereby escallating the drama and consequences, BAM it is in writting to be shown as proof to others. I’ll bet you could do a great movie script based on cell phone text messages and the havok caused.
Damian in reply to Nicholas Johnston’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks Nick! I completely agree with you too, it can be guys as well, LOL!
Damian in reply to gynnirox’s comment, 2 months ago

LOL, thanks gynni! Glad you liked it (haha, curse away!) ;)
Damian in reply to deliriousgirl’s comment, 2 months ago

Cheers Jen, glad you liked it!
Damian in reply to Paolo’s comment, 2 months ago

Haha, thanks Paolo! I’ve actually gone from being frustrated in this situation to living it, LOL! Now I’m a ‘bad person’, but damn, I’m free!
Damian in reply to Debbie King’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks Debbie! Yep, definately some frustrating people out there. And I can understand where your husband is coming from :)
Damian in reply to SuliHawk’s comment, 2 months ago

Thanks SuliHawk, a cool comment :)
A bigger piece based on text messages would be interesting, and have a complete ring of truth, LOL!