‘You fit in so well!’
Fuck!
Off!
‘Thanks, I’m glad you think so. The people here are so efficient; it’s easy to join the work flow.’
The social camouflage is turned up too high. I look like one of them.
‘Oh, we pride ourselves on our unfaltering dedication to the task at hand.’
Cue his beaming smile. Far too predatory to be sincere though.
‘Yes, I’ve seen that from the way the laboratory’s run.’
‘Ah, my boy, you’ll be great. I’m going to recommend you for the job.’ He punctuates the sentence with a clap on my shoulder.
Shit. The job. It’s permanent too.
‘Thanks, I appreciate your support.’
Smile, don’t forget to smile, instead of grimacing.
‘You realise the job’s permanent, don’t you? A great opportunity! You could progress through the ranks, until one day you’re here calling the shots! Hah, you’re moving in the right direction, make no mistake!’
Must. Not. Shudder.
‘Permanent jobs are so hard to come by. I don’t know what to say.’
No, that’s not right. I know exactly what I’m expected to say.
‘We’ll be expecting big things from you in return, of course.’
Like I didn’t know that was coming. Trapped in this hell hole of blandness to all hours of the day, chasing funding for more of his pet projects, and then writing up my results into his speech notes. Fucking beautiful.
‘I’ve never failed to reach my milestones, and I know I’ll see solutions no-one else in this building can imagine.’
Damn it. I know I CAN do this job, but do I want to be like him? Is job security and more money worth the grief and separation from what makes me happy?
‘Ha hah! That’s the attitude! We’ll make a manager out of you yet!’
Oh like fuck! I will not conform. I will not conform. They can’t make me. They can’t break me. I won’t let them break me. I am not like them. I don’t want to be like them. Please, let me never be like them!
‘So, you’re a Pisces?’ she said, breaking into my thoughts by elevating the few words beyond a rhetorical question and into a definite insult. She was a generic conservative-type who worked for the organisation. For the millionth time since starting here, I wished I hadn’t said anything.
‘Yes, Pisces. Is there something wrong with that?’ I said with a light smile.
Do please itemise them for me in your categorising, list-minded way.
‘Well, they’re said to be impractical, over-sensitive and over-emotional.’
Oh don’t try and hide that smirk, please, you bundle of unpleasantness.
‘Then it’s lucky I’ve been put on as a permanent then, before the boss heard all of that. I could’ve been in trouble otherwise.’
Ha!
‘What? Permanent? But you’ve only been here for such a short time. I’ve been here ten years, and I’m still on contract.’
‘Oh, really? That’s such an injustice. Have you been doing your work properly?’
The moral dilemma of the workplace. Should I stay or should I go? At the very least the social camouflage, the blending in with the crowd, that needs to go. Or else end up stuck in the drudgery, without an imagination; existing but serving no purpose.
If that is fitting in, I wish…please let me never fit in.
© 2008 Damian Herde
Social Camouflage
A Pisces entry for the Zodiac13 competition in the Short Stories group.
I must’ve had a bad day. Fictional though.
Gayla Drummond, 5 months ago
I’m with him…let me never fit in! LOL, enjoyable read, love the silent remarks.
Peter Marin, 5 months ago
Such a great read, I think it’s marvelous. A lot of folks could relate to the story.
Damian in reply to Gayla Drummond’s comment, 5 months ago
Haha, yep, for sure Gayla! Glad you liked it :)
Damian in reply to Peter Marin’s comment, 5 months ago
Thanks for that Peter, I appreciate it.
deliriousgirl, 5 months ago
HAAAAA!!!! Great, so fuckin great!!!
It’s only the people who refuse being put in the box that object to the idea of the box.
Ushna Sardar, 5 months ago
it’s awesome Damian! enjoyed that writing!
Damian in reply to deliriousgirl’s comment, 5 months ago
Cheers, Jen! Glad you liked it, and isn’t that box analogy too true!
Damian in reply to Ushna Sardar’s comment, 5 months ago
Thanks Ushna, glad you liked it!
Ushna Sardar, 5 months ago
you’re welcome Damian! :)
Leoni Venter, 5 months ago
Well, wow, my previous life in a nutshell :
) I got out, I’m free, hahahahaha! Well written, great to read … and man, I’m glad I don’t fit in and don’t have to :)darkestartist, 5 months ago
perfect. totally echoes everything I’ve ever thought in a job, and I’m as pisces as they come. nice job, Damian! :)
gypsycaster, 5 months ago
Very cool! Boy can I relate…
Zolton, 5 months ago
Hee hee. Smiles.
Kym Breeze, 5 months ago
Hi Kiddo, this is so well written…enjoyed it and well it comes to choices and timing…..I am so in a position to relate to this….lol…hugs and hi to the family.xoxo
Damian in reply to Leoni Venter’s comment, 5 months ago
Lucky you Lee!!! ...blows rasberry…!!
Haha, thanks glad you liked it, and glad you’re free!
Damian in reply to darkestartist’s comment, 5 months ago
Thanks darkestartist, glad you could relate! And good to spot the other Pisces floating through :)
Damian in reply to gypsycaster’s comment, 5 months ago
Thanks gypsycaster, glad you can relate :)
Damian in reply to Zolton’s comment, 5 months ago
Haha, thanks Zolton :)
Damian in reply to Kym Breeze’s comment, 5 months ago
Hey Kym, thanks, glad you liked it :)
Haha, it’s funny how permanancy is given in some places, like it was some big reward that would guarantee subservience. My plans move ever onwards, haha! :)
Empress, 5 months ago
“you bundle of unpleasantness” ... just waiting for the opportunity to say that now.
Damian in reply to Empress’s comment, 5 months ago
Haha! Yes, and tell us about it too!
Nicole Ryan, 5 months ago
what a great read !
i’ve never been any good at conforming
but i’m aquarius :P
Damian in reply to Nicole Ryan’s comment, 5 months ago
Thanks Nicole! Ah yes, those Aquarian’s :)
Pisces are good mimics and can blend in, if they have to. Doesn’t mean they like it though, but they’ll just deal with it, and one day will vanish. :)
Nicole Ryan, 5 months ago
i’m on the cusp of pisces/aquarius .. so i just choose the best forecast lol
Damian in reply to Nicole Ryan’s comment, 5 months ago
Haha, I gave up on those forecasts! I never found anything to ever line up. Having two to pick from would help though :)
Care, 5 months ago
...what a brilliant read…thoroughly enjoyed it! : )
Damian in reply to Care’s comment, 5 months ago
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it :)
I’ll have to move through your writing properly too, I’ve enjoyed the few I’ve ducked in to see :)
MickyMc, 5 months ago
Great read, but are you sure it’s fictional? Seems to have that slightly too real feel about it to me ; )
Damian in reply to MickyMc’s comment, 5 months ago
Heh, cheers Micky! The sentiment is real and is cobbled together from many moments, rather than being a single complete event, if you know what I mean ;)
MickyMc, 5 months ago
Hi Damian, I know exactly what you mean ; )
filfil, 2 months ago
Social camouflage…what a wonderful title to a wonderful story!
Damian in reply to filfil’s comment, 2 months ago
Thanks filfil, glad you liked it, and the title :)
That’s a title I’ve had in my head since I was young, LOL!