The Aussie Cattle Dog!!!

This little story could be applicable in any country, whatever side of the political fence they are on…

Kevin Rudd called Julia Gillard into his office one day and said, ‘Julia, I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters.’

‘Good idea Leader, how will we go about it?’ said Julia.

‘Well,’ said Rudd, ’we’ll get ourselves one of those Driza Bone coats, some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat.

Oh, and a blue cattle dog. Then we’ll really look the part.

We’ll go to a typical old outback country pub, we’ll show we really enjoy the bush.’

‘Right.’ Said Julia.

Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite blue heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction.

Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub.

They walked in with the dog and up to the bar.

’G’day mate,’ said Rudd to the bartender, ‘two middies of your best beer.’

‘Good afternoon Leader,’ said the bartender, ‘two middies of our best coming up.’

Gillard and Rudd stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again to whoever came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.

All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip.

He walked up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.

A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and lifted the dogs tail and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually, Rudd and Gillard could stand it no longer and called the barman over.
‘Tell me,’ said Rudd, ‘why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the dog’s tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?’

‘Strewth no!’ said the barman. ‘Someone told ’em there was a cattle dog in the bar with two arseholes!’

The Aussie Cattle Dog!!!

Craig Watson

Yorketown, Australia

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