When i got asked to write this article I laughed about it, and it really made me think about things in my life. I had never thought of myself as successful and single.
I had been living thinking I was a survivor. I did what I had to do to survive, I did not think of success, I thought of survival.I did what i could to survive the urban nightmare..
I don’t think I am any better looking then most girls on the street, I think I am plain. Any girl with her hair done , the right make up and the right light can do what I do.
I am a nude, I have modelled for magazines, artists and photographers. I have been on the front of Endevour Magazine.
I worked for Qantas Flight Catering in a job that I hated. I got extremely depressed, and this triggered Bipolar. However at this time I did not know that I had bipolar.
I decided to get the thumb print of my forehead, and go do what I wanted to do he rather than what everyone else was telling me i needed to do.
This is how I got into modelling, I also went to Sydney to work for expose productions. I am exhibitionionist and a nudist. I made film with them and then went to Melbourne to work for adult voyeur also in the film industry. I had photo shoots all around Australia.
The downside to this was my parents being a school teacher and an ex cop did not approve them would not speak to me, they also tried to have gained custody of my son. However this did not ever get to the court .
Success was the last thing on my mind, to me it was a matter of day to day survival of making sure I t to jobs on time, and doing the best possible job that I could do for the photographer to make sure he had the best possible outcome for his work.
Other than fighting with my parents, I was in a extremely violent relationship and everything in my life was chaos.
At the beginning of 2008 I found a report in my parents study from the Qantas psychologist stating that I had bipolar. At first I was freaked out , then everything had made sense. My behaviour, the upheaval in my life and reasons I was finding relationship so difficult .
At the same time I found the report I had lost everything. I was in hospital with collapsed kidneys,I kicked out of the house, I lost four horses, my partner moved east and my son had to stay with my parents. Basically I had nothing.
It was this rock bottom and the report that turn my life around. I researched Bipolar as I had no idea what was. At this time I also started writing my book THE ICE WAVE . I thought this would be a project that I had never get finished just another one that had started and left. However it is almost due to be published. Back in and in itself is an achievement .
So I measure my success in the fact that I had turned my life around and had built up from nothing without any help of others.
My life is a lot calmer than it used to be, I can successfully manage my mental illness three cognitive therapy and good management of. Learning the keys and the triggers, and your needs to manage it successfully. I think this is a great achievement, other than that manner achievements finishing the book and giving a published. I have built and successfully run my own website which is www.MUMHATESPORN.com And I can now sit back and do something that I love which is my artwork.
Being single used to worry me, when you saw all those girls at school getting married around the age of 23 24th. That’s OK now because they’re all getting divorced. And while they had been married had 2.3 kids, and leave to behind the white picket fence pretending to be happy I have had an absolute ball, doing what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it.
Commitment absolutely terrified me .. I remember when ex partner asked me to be his girlfriend I got up out of bed , stark naked and ran like hell. I came back three days later.
Bipolar of Can be big burden on you self, management is crucial. Staying single kept stability in my life without all the emotional attachments that come with a relationship. Relationship seemed to trigger episodes alot more frequently than if I was single.
I didn’t want a partner who thought they had to nurse me, but the main thing was I didn’t want to put somebody the you loved through the emotional torment of bipolar. I didn’t want them to have the burden of bi have polar on their shoulders. So my mind was set I was to be single, I could have friends , fuck buddies the emotional strings of a relationship weren’t to pulled.
Don’t feel like a missing out on anything as I had male friends. the bond between my son and my self grew stronger and we became closer.
I’ve come to accept the fact I would never have a full relationship, and except the fact that I haven’t got the ability to work or a fulltime 9 to 5 job or however I made adjustments to work around those things. Life isn’t set in concrete , I’m extremely happy with life and my successful management of ba
My tip for other women like me …..
If things are making you unhappy in your life. Don’t do what i did and think that there is no alternative, change it and do what makes you really happy. You don’t want to get to the end of your life and regret not doing the things you really wanted to do. Have faith in you self because anything you want to do is achievable. I love when people tell me that I can’t do things all that i am in capable because that’s the fuel for my fire.
a magazine article written on being single and successful