Pool of Concrete

You have no idea
how tired I am

not even my bed looks inviting
holding the promise
I’ll have to wake up
that there will be another day
and after that
another more
that even if the earth stopped spinning
and the sun died out
time would still
move endlessly on

the passage of time
god, I’m tired
of dealing with you
I’m tired of pushing forward
having no other choice but to act
act, act
do, do, do
I decide
and I’m tired of it
of having only the choice of moving on
or forfeiting –
and even then
I’d be doing something

do you not see
this weight I carry?
the entire future is what I push in front of me
dragging the past behind me like some
dying relative
a box of stones
and a memory is a thousand pounds
and I get new ones every second

you cannot fathom, I promise
how tired I am
it’s very kind of you to ask
to carry some of my load,
to push for a little, but even that is a
decision, and you still have to carry
your own shit
through this pool of concrete.

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Being tired is a recurring theme. I hope I’m not boring you.

I have fears that I may cease to be.

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Comments

  • Mark Ramstead
    Mark Ramsteadabout 2 years ago

    Brilliant! Let’s shed some pounds of expectations right now! : )

  • Haha, wouldn’t that be something. What expectations do you suggest we shed?

    – Kirstine Dieckmann

  • Mark Ramstead
    Mark Ramsteadabout 2 years ago

    I shed social conventions, remaining quiet, and fear of hurting or losing respect.
    I say what I think.

  • 8upchef
    8upchefabout 2 years ago

    I think we are all a little tired right now, and ready for the next new thing!

  • Misunderstood24
    Misunderstood24about 2 years ago

    There’s something to be said about being tired. And you succeeded with this. Lovely work as always. Reminds me of song lyrics by Benjamin Francis Leftwich. Check him out? love and hugs

  • I love Benjamin Francis Leftwich. He makes the most incredible music. Being compared to him is a joy. Thank you :*

    – Kirstine Dieckmann

  • Thea T
    Thea Tabout 2 years ago

    Wow…I can so relate to this at the moment. Since my Mums death just over a month ago, this is pretty much how I feel most of the time. Very insightful write! :)

  • Oh, this means a lot to me. I’ve gone through nothing as terrible as the death of a parent, but I’m glad you found some truth in this anyway. I’m terribly sorry for your loss (damn, I couldn’t imagine losing my own mother), but I hope you’re slowly healing :) You are wonderful, again, thank you.

    – Kirstine Dieckmann

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