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they have words for sadness (but not in this language)

they have words for sadness:
suicide
last wishes

they don’t have words for:
eating apples and still not being happy

for kissing boys and not knowing exactly
why jeans and t-shirts feel perfect
on other girls too

for wanting to storm the ER
and demand an autopsy
say: “can you feel this hollow
in a regular body”

for holding your breath
to avoid stealing it
from someone else

for despair that runs so deep
not even death can dissolve it

for a body that feels foreign
even as I mark it.

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they have words for sadness (but not in this language) by 


I have fears that I may cease to be.

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Comments

  • Misunderstood24
    Misunderstood24about 2 years ago

    I know that feeling too.

  • I’m glad I don’t seem to be alone.

    – Kirstine Dieckmann

  • MoonlightLover
    MoonlightLoverabout 2 years ago

    Gasp! I feel that way too sometimes! Universal sisterhood of lost souls we are! xo

  • Indeed! It’s so good to feel I’m not alone in this. It can be so overwhelming and terrifying. Always here for you x

    – Kirstine Dieckmann

  • Arco Iris  R
    Arco Iris Rabout 2 years ago

    I’ve been there so believe me when I say I completely understand.
    When I get those, I tell myself “Tomorrow is another day”. That is the only way I get through it.

  • I can’t even do that, I just have to hang on and ride it through. But it’s true, knowing life goes on as it has before can help a lot.

    – Kirstine Dieckmann

  • 8upchef
    8upchefabout 2 years ago

    I think that we who are creative, know these feelings and emotions more than others. Fortunately you have the power to turn it into something beautiful. Like you have here. I find myself dark and lost sometimes. Sometimes I just snap out of it…sometimes I have to drag myself out of it. One thing that always helps me is coming to the bubble for inspiration! Much Love and Inspiration to You!!! Larry

  • I believe you are right. I’m glad you think I turned it into something nice :) The bubble has helped me a lot too, I feel less alone and lost here. Thank you.

    – Kirstine Dieckmann

  • Britta Cait
    Britta Caitabout 2 years ago

    Too true, seems like a lot of us get these episodes. But you put it in such beautiful terms.

  • Thank you so much.

    – Kirstine Dieckmann

  • bloorain
    bloorainabout 2 years ago

    You can borrow my soul if you like. I wouldn’t mind feeling hollow for a little while. But in all honesty, i think your soul is hiding behind you eyes. Love the way you chose to express this :)

  • You are the greatest, but I would never put you through that. Knowing you’d let me is calming, though.
    Maybe you’re right. Maybe my soul is hiding, that would be better than it having left me. Thank you, love :)

    – Kirstine Dieckmann

  • msdebbie
    msdebbieabout 2 years ago

    Such powerful writing. My favourite word for sadness is French (Tristesse). Hugs to you xxx

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