The Light in my Journey

I’m walking on a brick pathway. The morning air is crisp and clear. I try to gather my thoughts. I can’t. Walking down the path listening to the crunching sound of the leaves under my feet. Smelling the air again, this is waking me up. I notice the sun is peeking through the trees. I stop and look up the trees half empty of there leaves. What’s remaining in the trees? I see the reds, oranges and yellows, like a painting on canvas, like the story the artist is trying to portray. After studying the trees for what seems like hours I continue to walk. Hearing dogs bark, children laughing, that amazing rustling of leaves, I come to a fork in the path. Which way should I go? I glance to my right and the path continues and bends around the pond. People are walking; some running and oh there is the dog. The leaves blowing all over the ground with the sunlight dancing around. I then glance to my left and the path again bends around the pond. There is a group of school children laughing and playing off in the distance. But I spot a bench further off. I decide to take a left. The wind is gently blowing my hair all around, its okay for I really don’t have to be anywhere today. Today is my day. I’m walking now into the dazzling light, it warms my face. I’m one with the world right now, not a worry to be found. I start to daydream as I walk closer to the children laughing and having a good time. Wonder what it would be like to be that old and to be free with the outdoors. I think they were 8 perhaps 9. I was laughing to myself, it felt good to chuckle. Children so innocent and carefree, good for them for having so much fun. I continue to walk the brick path; I see my destination the park bench. As I leave one daydream I drift into another one. Remembering my birthday party when I was turning 12, I had always wanted a doll house cake and Marisa’s Mom made me one. It was a house made of sweet frosting, candy, coconut and sprinkles. It was so hot that day the balloons were popping outside, yeah of course July 19th. Must have been the hottest day of the summer but it was my day with my friends. It had to be the best birthday I’ve ever had. A runner runs by and says hi, which broke me free from my daydream. Wow!! How swept up in things we can get. I see Canadian Geese fly over head and make a smooth landing rippling the pond. The honking sound they make, gives me the shivers. What a wonderful thing to fly way up high and make such a graceful landing on water no less! The bench is comming clearer in my view. I keep on walking wondering why I never listened to the world around me before, why did it take a cancer diagnosis to turn my attention to the beauty that is all around. I feel like I’m standing still in time and space and realize that I have stopped walking. I gather myself up and start walking towards the bench. What seemed like an hour or so, finally I reach the bench. It is wooden and rod iron steel. Finally, my feet need a rest. I sit down on this cold wooden surface. I almost want to stand back up but my feet are telling me differently! I settle in and pull my jacket closer to me, the bench is covered by trees and the sun isn’t penetrating them too well. Taking a couple of deep breathes of the autumn fresh air. I clear my mind. I look out over the pond and see the brick path go all the way around, the birds are flying in the sky the geese are now in the water. If I listen closely I can still hear the children laughing. I hear people walk by, the crunching of the leaves. I see people roller blading, riding bikes, walking, running, walking and reading the newspaper. Oh that’s what I forgot the morning paper and oh my coffee, well I’ll have to get them when I leave the park. I sit there finally warming up a little. I drift off into yet another daydream. I see this bright circle of light in front of me. Everything it shines and is even more beautiful than before. The circle of light gets bigger and bigger. It now surrounds me. However I am not frightened but enlightened to be sitting here. I felt somehow this was a gift for me. The light is warm, comforting, and inviting. I left the light go all around me; I allow the light to penetrate my body. It wraps itself into my soul. It is something good something wonderful. What is it though…hmmm? I’m sitting there allowing this to happen and I’m not frightened. I see all around me people, some I know and some I don’t even recognize. All waving and smiling at me, I feel a warm radiating from them a sense of power. The word healing comes into my mind. My body engulfed in healing light. I know, it’s healing me it’s allowing my cells to kill off the cancer cells leaving me healthier. The light continues to do this for some time. Eventually I see the circle of people once again. Now I feel like I’m not alone and someone hands me a handful of light. Oh my gosh, it can’t be, it is, My Grandmother, she is handing me this light. The light of healing. As she is doing this she is smiling at me. I take the light and step back. All these people are waving at me and I’m getting the feeling they are telling me to return anytime. The light slowly closes in on itself and vanishes into thin air. All of a sudden I’m awakening to this dog barking loudly. A young man is standing there holding back the dog by pulling on the leash. “Sorry Miss, Sorry” he says and finally goes on his way. What a day dream! Wow. I am thinking of what today will bring, I don’t know neither does anyone around me here. I’m smiling because I feel free. The trees are wrestling in the wind which now has picked up. I’m noticing the sun is fading beyond the clouds. I get up and start to walk the same direction I walked to the bench in. Wow the wind is really blowing. I walk and listen to the noises all around me. I feel a bit of a chill and put my hands in my pockets. In my right pocket there is something. I pull out a stone and it says “hope” on it. Where did this come from? The light!!! Yes the Light, it had to be what my Grandmother had given me. She gave me “hope”! Oh Nan you are brilliant!! Hope is holding on. Hope is dreaming. Hope is encouragement. It is a lot of things. I continue to walk with this rock in my hand and I start to feel rain drops on me. I don’t remember hearing anything about rain today? Hmmm… So I hurried my pace and let the rain come down. It was chilly but I can smell the earthly smell it is leaving behind. The pond has ripples in it the Geese are flying away. I laugh. Because up ahead are the school children and they are jumping in the mud puddles as the teachers are trying to gather them up. That’s what I need to do!! Jump in some puddles! There is a puddle. I am stepping right in the middle of it. Oh course my shoes and feet are soaked!!! I don’t care, my hair is dripping wet. I’m laughing this is so much fun. I begin to dance around, dancing to the rain drops. Dancing to my own rhythm. I am soaked to the bone; I start to walk to the gate of the park. I have this warm feeling all through my body. As I walk out of the park I cross the street to a coffee shop. I’m going to go in and get my coffee and newspaper. Wonder what the rest of my day will be like?

Carrie S. Snelgrove

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Tags:

cancer, children, daydreaming, healing, inspiration, laughter, love and peace