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War on Wane

Warning! Warning! Warning!

Wayne, the wicked Wicca Witch of the West

Wasted a Wagon in a Ward

While Whitewashing his Woody Whistle

And Whittling his Woolly wig

When WHACK!

Wrong Went the Wee Weak Wheel

Weeps, Was it a Worthy Woe

©2002

Currently unavailable for purchase



I wrote this when I lived in Vancouver… I had a roommate whose name was Wayne, and who had emptied my fridge from all it’s food, made a whole bunch of long distance calls on MY phone, and to top it off, had made a black mass in his bedroom in my “honor” … he was surrounded with 12 black candles, and he was mumbling…

When a few minutes later I was to burn some sage (which is a spiritual cleanser in American Native culture and used as a deodorant or incent) he accused me of burning “pot”…
I told him that it was sage from The great north (which is true) and he kept accusing me of burning drugs, but would keep from talking about my food he had eaten and my phone that was now very expensive.

I got mad.

So I grabbed my dictionary (as I was in my 2nd or 3rd year into learning english) and I left for my writer-friend’s place…

When my friend opened the door, he saw that I was mad. -He never had seen me mad before asked me why I looked mad.

So I said to him… “Wayne!!!… I am mad at him! I bet that there are no definitions for such an a**hole in that dictionary…”

So I opened the dictionary randomly, and got on the word “wane” on the page that I opened it to…
So I exclaim… "There IS a definition for him in that dictionary… he is the “decreasing” kind of person… "

“Give me 15 minutes alone, I got to write my anger out…” …and this is what I wrote.

(I am not sure that the whole is here, for most of my works are packed in boxes at the moment… I used my memory to write it here now.)

Tags

alliteration, artistic, canadian, child, children, crazy, crokuslabel, humor, mad, poetry, upset, wane, war, ward, warning, weak, what, wheel, wicked, wisdom, wistle, witch, woe, woody, writer

Comments

  • MissKristy
    MissKristyalmost 7 years ago

    Ohh, such wickedly wordy wise and witty words!

    Can’t get the grin off my face! Sage = Pot…LOLOL tooo funnny!

  • Crokuslabel
    Crokuslabelalmost 7 years ago

    I know… I thought that it was funny too.. he was to tell me that he was 53 years old, and that he knew what pot was… that I was not aware of myself… lol

    Thanks… you too are wicked with words… ;) Glad you liked…

    And thanks for awakening my writer’s side tonight (well, for me it is… ;) )

    have a good evening… I better go sleep… :P before it is too early, then it’ll be too late… :P

  • frogster
    frogsteralmost 7 years ago

    Love the story

  • Crokuslabel
    Crokuslabelalmost 7 years ago

    Thanks Frogster… I think that they HAVE to go together… :)
    The story is longer than the poem… but it really is part of it I guess… ;)

  • David Meacham
    David Meachamalmost 7 years ago

    We have a word in Britain for someone who is a bit stupid. We call them a ‘wally’ – so there’s a good word for Wayne.
    Wayne the Wally
    Take care
    Meach

  • Crokuslabel
    Crokuslabelalmost 7 years ago

    Lol Meach… If I’d had known… it would have been very useful … :) Thanks for the hint… :)
    I am still laughing… lol

  • Damian
    Damianalmost 7 years ago

    Funny verse, and what a painful flatmate! Glad Wayne isn’t around for you any more :)

  • Crokuslabel
    Crokuslabelalmost 7 years ago

    Thanks Damian…. I am glad too… but I also am glad I’ve met him, for he inspired me to this point… (or should I say he has upset me to that point… lol)

  • HamperRefuser
    HamperRefuseralmost 3 years ago

    Awesome I love illiteration

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