Unstoppable

Author: Craig Mowat
Word Count: 350
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Unstoppable

Entry for Twisted Tales Star Twister 51
The prompt – Shadows

Unstoppable belongs to the following groups:

All About Your Best Work, Bits and Pieces , Graphic Scratch, Melbourne & Victoria, Short stories - Spherical Scriptings, Twisted Tales and Up & Coming Writers

I rush to the top of the tower to get a better view. It’s happening quicker than I expected. There’s no time to warn anyone else. Not that it matters. Not that they could do anything but watch the same as I will.

I swing open the door, shielding my eyes from the light. On the mountain side across from the city I see the shadows approach. It’s an ominous sight as they start to roll down the side of the mountain. They are not like the shadows I have seen during the day in the city streets, cowering against buildings. I can cross the street to avoid them, or just pay them no attention at all, but this, coming down the hill. I can’t take my eyes off it.

There is an army just outside the city. There must be at least 100,000 troops, with all manner of weapons and equipment. Reportedly just on manoeuvres. They face the mountains and the tide that approaches, and are engulfed by the shadows.

I look to the top of the mountains and see what looks like fire over their ridges, and I know it will be the last light I see. Below me the shadows take the city. Nothing can stop them, and soon they will take me.

I stand on the edge of the tallest tower in the city, and not really know why. I guess I wanted to hold out as long as I could. There is so much I know I should have done before they came. I just had to watch.

I can feel the shadows behind me. I can see them coming up the side of the tower, reaching up for me. I am suddenly struck by the futility of what I have done as the shadows finally take me.

The fires over the hill have set. I turn and feel for the tower door, cursing myself for watching a sunset over a city without power without thinking how I would get back down again in the dark.

Yet I smile because it was so cool.

Zolton

This was giving a War of the Worlds feel. Devilish twist, Mr. Mowat. : )
Craig Mowat replied

Why thank you. I was concerned the cover story was too flimsy to hold over the true story (of course after I posted it), but you comment has made me relax.
Matt Penfold

An interesting read Craig, very visual with nice tension :-)
Craig Mowat replied

Thanks Matt. Glad the images came through strong.
ArcadiaTempest

This had a supernatural mood to it….you set up this piece with fabulous imagery. Sunsets can be spectacular..:))
Craig Mowat replied

Glad you enjoyed it.
Mark Bateman

I’m with Zolton, War of the Worlds-esque! Nicely described, with a great sense of impending doom – only for it to be so cool! :)
Craig Mowat replied

Thanks. It’s good to know when what I aim for comes out in the writing.
Solar Zorra

Great story and twist. All kinds of things were running through my mind; Transformers, Godzilla, end of time…...........all for a really cool sunset. :) SZ
Craig Mowat replied

Thanks. I try to please.
Jeannette Sheehy

fantastic last line…almost a throwaway but fit in so well to give that twist the extra kick. Beautifully written. :)
Craig Mowat replied

Completely expendable that last line. If I hadn’t finished dead on 350 it would have been the first to go. I wanted to show him without regret, but the “Yet” is a bit clunky. I’ll debate the cull.
Thanks.
Alison Pearce

Wow!! Powerful and so wonderfully written!!
Craig Mowat replied

Glad you enjoyed it.
Jeannette Sheehy

When I said the last line was almost a throwaway, I meant that “I smile because it was so cool” fit in perfectly with the character…and ended up not being a throwaway line. It was a great ending to the story. Perhaps the word throwaway was not the best to use. :)
Craig Mowat replied

Throwaway is not the wrong word. It could be thrown, but it would be dark ending, and wrong for the story. I’m still just caught up on “yet”. No offence meant, no offence taken. It always pays to look again at a story.
anya

I like this Craig. It is an interesting take on threat.
Matthew Dalton

The fire in the distant hills creates a very real feeling of foreboding. What a wonderful use of imagery.

The ending made me smile.

Good luck with the competition.
Jeannette Sheehy

congratulations on 3rd place Craig – this was such a great story! :)
Craig Mowat replied

Thanks Jeannette. Not bad I guess for a weeks pondering and 15 minutes at lunch tapping keys. Maybe next time.