Craig Shillington

If Only Tonight We Could Sleep ....... forever.

if only tonight we could sleep
in a bed made of flowers
if only tonight we could fall
in a deathless spell
if only tonight we could slide
into deep black water
and breathe
and breathe…

then an angel would come
with burning eyes like stars
and bury us deep
in his velvet arms

and the rain would cry
as our faces slipped away
and the rain would cry

don’t let it end…

(click the lyrics to listen to the song)

Today I received some sad news. My little Jordy man has Cancer again. :( I am at a point right now where I am very lost. Anyone that knows me well enough, will understand the bond I have with my Three Boys … but especially so with Jordy … my little Alien.

When Jordy was about 4 years old, he got skin cancer in his ears. Something a lot of animals with white fur get. Luckily Kim and I got him to the Vet before it had a chance to spread and they cut it out. Since then, Jordy has been my no ears little Alien. The Ironic thing is that when Kim brought him home as a Present … I said he was the ugliest cat I had ever seen …. he is now the most beautiful thing I have had in my life.

The vet has told me without Chemo, he probably has about 3 months to live … but that is with pain. :( I can’t afford the Chemo for him sadly. :( And even with the Chemo, the cancer is too far spread … it won’t cure him this time … just prolong his life.

With a heavy heart I now need to make a decision on timing :( At some time soon I need to figure out that Jordy is suffering and allow him to be free of that, so he can forever watch over me. This will be one of the hardest things I will have done. I am going to share the next few months here …. some of this may not be nice, but it will help me too. I am going to miss …. this gorgeous Monkey on My Back so much!!!

  • InfinityRain

    InfinityRain, 5 months ago

    hugs for you and kisses for Jordy….I will miss him very much too :( Sweet little alien man he is..with the loudest purr ever heard. He’ll forever watch over you. I’m so sorry Craig :( Truly deeply sorry :(

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington, 5 months ago

    Thank you so much Rain {{{{hugs}}}} He will :) Always :) :)

  • flowerindattic

    flowerindattic, 5 months ago

    OMG… Sorry to hear that Craig… I can understand how you feel at the moment… The moment that I have been thru before, when I lost my dad.. He is probably an animal for some people, but he must be the one best thing you ever have, not just an animal, but he could probably the bestfriend you ever had… He will be in your heart and thought forever, he knew how much you love him… He probably couldn’t say to you out loud, but by the looking of his eyes, you and him know eachother how much you both share your love from far….
    My pray will always be with him and you… Be happy, because that was he expected from you when he left you…. {{{{{Hugs and kisses}}}}} for him from me too… V

  • Christopher  Ewing

    Christopher E..., 5 months ago

    man craig…serious lump in my throat, its so easy on the outside to tell you what to do, so i wont. being on the inside having to let one of your kids go, hell its just as if you did give birth, just shows you dont have to give birth to love something, cherish it, cradle it, admire it and so on.
    i really feel for your tough decision, just remember, its now time to do what is needed for your little guy, and set aside the selfishness of the living to want to keep him going forever, which we all know that isnt ever possible
    my heart sinks with you, just remember, he gave you a lot of things, some you wont realise until he’s gone, cherish those and remember them
    peace be with ya

  • kesitian

    kesitian, 5 months ago

    Oh my, I’m so sorry to hear that! He looks funny without his ears, and very cute!

  • Cindy Lemoi

    Cindy Lemoi, 5 months ago

    Reading this brings tears to my eyes. I see the special bond you & Jordy have together from the pictures you have posted. That type of friendship is very special. I would like to extend my sympathies to you during this difficult time.

  • elizabethrose05

    elizabethrose05, 5 months ago

    oh no, craig :( hug this must be hard for you. it made me cry. i know how it feels, as it’s happened to alot of my cats. all i can say is enjoy the time you have with him, which im sure you do. he looks like a beautiful cat. stay strong.

  • Trilby

    Trilby, 5 months ago

    You have my sympathies….He’s a beautiful boy and even though it’s hard, there’s only one thing to do in these situations….I bet as far as cats go, he’s had a pretty special life….Just think of it as one final favour for your beautiful boy.

  • nofrillsart

    nofrillsart, 5 months ago

    So sorry to hear Craig. Im a cat person too, and i have been through this. Enjoy ever moment and remember the richness of the time spent together. And when the time comes…your friends are all around you.

  • Leeo

    Leeo, 5 months ago

    Oh, I’ve got a big lump in my throat now….it sounds to me like the two of you have shared a wonderful bond, and that is what counts the most.

  • Heather Croft

    Heather Croft, 5 months ago

    Craig you have captured him so beautifully – you can see the character in him. Few cats really have that. Enjoy your last days with him. He will love you for it. I had twenty years with my cat and I have never had another because I could not replace him. You brought all that back to me but I think back fondly not with regret. He is lucky to have you

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington, 5 months ago

    Thank you so much guys. {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} I have a long way to go yet eh. It’s funny, because my other cat Basil is about 16 – 17 years old and as far as health is concerned, I would have sworn he would be the first to pass on. He has just had surgery on his eye too (had his third eyelid removed) and now he seems like a teen again. Life is a very strange thing sometimes.

  • Emma Turnbull

    Emma Turnbull, 5 months ago

    my heart goes out to you, and I can understand the bond you have – just remember how much joy you have brought to each other :)

  • Diane Burroughs

    Diane Burroughs, 5 months ago

    I’m so sorry for you Craig :( I remember when Jordy has his little ears removed… what a trooper! He had the best human in the world to love him all this time. He won’t leave you; he’ll be all around you forever.

  • Janelle

    Janelle, 5 months ago

    Oh Craig Im so sorry.. poor Jordy ;o(
    I know how much you love your boys and this is just so sad. Its a beautiful selfless thing your doing for him I cant imagine how hard it must be for you.. at least you have all the wonderful moments you captured on camera to have with you always. Thinking of you xox

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington, 5 months ago

    Thank you Emma, Diane and Janelle. {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} He will be with me forever, deep within my heart … and I do have some very special photos of him too.

  • Shanina Conway

    Shanina Conway, 5 months ago

    Oh Craig, what a terrible situation, I feel so sad for you having to make this decision but you love him too much to see him suffer…he will always be with you.
    Hugs and keep strong xxx

  • flowerindattic

    flowerindattic, 5 months ago

    Hi…
    Again sorry to hear about your loss…. Nothing I could say and give you at the moment, unless a special picture I have taken from my trip.. I will send it to you…

  • binjy

    binjy, 5 months ago

    Oh, Craig… This pain is one only you know the depth of… we have all been there at some time, but what is between you and your boy is a unique bond…. and has lots of important moments in it. Wrap these in satin, and tuck them away in your heart… open them carefully at a later time, and enjoy.

    (((hug)))

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington in reply to Shanina Conway’s comment, 5 months ago

    Thanks Shanina … but after today … I think someone is watching over my dear little man :) :) :)

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington in reply to flowerindattic’s comment, 5 months ago

    Hi Vic {{{hug}}} Awwww Thank you

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington in reply to binjy’s comment, 5 months ago

    Such a beautiful poetic way to look at it Binjy {{{{{hugs}}}}} Thank you

  • Adrian Rachele

    Adrian Rachele, 5 months ago

    He’s so very cute. So sad to loose a close friend.
    Good luck to the little guy. Hope all fairs well.

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington in reply to Adrian Rachele’s comment, 5 months ago

    Thank you so much Adrian.

  • KevinH

    KevinH, 5 months ago

    So sorry Craig, just enjoy the time you have left together

    kevin

  • Mia1

    Mia1, 4 months ago

    Oh Craig, I am so sorry to hear this. I did not know. I know what you are going through as Snoopy has Cancer. :o( It is so hard. Take care Hugs.

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington in reply to KevinH’s comment, 4 months ago

    Thank you Kevin.

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington in reply to Mia1’s comment, 4 months ago

    Awwwww Mia {{{{hugs}}}} I am so sorry :( It IS hard … I know. You take care too :)

  • Lucindawind

    Lucindawind, 4 months ago

    awwww Jordy is adorable .. Ive had 3 kittys also that Ive lost and its so heartbreaking .. my heart goes out to you …. I feel your pain

    Lu

  • Jamaboop

    Jamaboop, 4 months ago

    It is such an awful thing to be going through. I am so sorry that you are having to do this, the choice is never easy, and the decision will haunt you. My heart is breaking for you all.

  • C J Lewis

    C J Lewis, 4 months ago

    Am so sorry to hear what you and poor little Jordy are going through…so sad :(

  • Samitha Hess

    Samitha Hess, 3 months ago

    I’m going through the exact same thing right now with my puppy… but you seem to be alot stronger than I am. I don’t think I even know where I am anymore. i’m so sorry about your baby.

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington in reply to C J Lewis’s comment, 3 months ago

    He’s better now Chris :) We had his eye removed (and the cancer) and he is pretty well back to his smoochie self again. I just need to make sure now I continue to get the cancer on his other eye frozen off at regular intervals :)

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington in reply to Samitha Hess’s comment, 3 months ago

    Awww Samitha {{{{{{{hug}}}}}} My heart goes out to you too. Try to stay positive and give Mattie as much love and quality of life as you can (as I know you are!!). Jordy is out of the woods for now (we had his eye removed) but I need to keep an eye on the cancer on his other eye now. And I am like you … I couldn’t have People Kids …. these boys ARE my kids and I would do anything in the world for them!!

  • C J Lewis

    C J Lewis, 3 months ago

    Oh Craig I am so happy to hear that news of Jordie…he looks like a real smoocher. I have an all white cat too so also have to check him (Monet). I put banana boat sunscreen on him, which he hates…but knows it is for his own good. Take care and give Jordie a cuddle for me :)

  • frozenfa

    frozenfa, 2 months ago

    T_T hugs~

  • DreaM

    DreaM, about 1 month ago

    Oh Craig, I just got here after seeing your lovely alien Jordy. I’m crying like a baby, remembering my little Yoda, who went through the same thing. At the time I had no means to pay for a chemo. Right after Yoda had his ears removed I moved from São Paulo (one of the largest cities in the world, here in Brasil) to Florianopolis, which is a very beautiful island. We moved from an apartment to a huge house, huge backyard, almost no neighboors, nature around. All my five cats got very happy, but Yoda… ohhhh.. it was the happiest time of his whole life. he live 7 months more after that, with some ups and downs. he had other complications and I could not afford the treatment. he passed in my arms, looking at me. i told him he could leave and he went. he did so much for me, so much… maybe someday I’ll explain it to you. Cats are amazing, they take off of us a lot of burden… sometimes it’s too much for them. i miss my Yoda…. oh boy! But I’m happy he is fine now. I’m very happy to know he is doing better. Cats are incredibly strong! I will be reading your postings here and be sure I will be always sending all the best vibes I can to Jordy and you. My love to him and you.

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington in reply to C J Lewis’s comment, 25 days ago

    BIG cuddle given :) :) I use zinc on Jordy’s nose ;) He hates it :|

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington in reply to frozenfa’s comment, 25 days ago

    {{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}} Thank you :) VBS

  • Craig Shillington

    Craig Shillington in reply to DreaM’s comment, 25 days ago

    {{{{{{{hug}}}}}} Thanks DreaM. Now you make me cry! They mean so much to us and it’s hard (so hard sometimes) to just let them go. I am so happy you got to move to somewhere so much nicer and Yoda got to give you so much more love :) :)

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