...on a lover's breath

My love for thee cannot lay claim to be
As the gilded Sun forever since life began.
I cannot decree that in the stars I see
Us crossed, or in constellations do we span.
I know not if our union was ever foretold,
Of if our souls in Heaven were made to match;
I know it is but what we can behold,
And not of what other minds may aptly hatch.
I will not stake now that we together will
Always remain with these feelings and thoughts
Which we have; but my heart do you till,
And this nature is from our humanity wrought;
So is what makes it beautiful to be
Understood not as perfection amid a tide,
But a glimmer of hope against black to see;
A diamond the darkness cannot hide.


The time is ours my sweet love, if we dare.
This love is long lasting as we humans may care.


Corydon

...on a lover's breath by

inspired by Shakespeare’s Sonnet LV (Not marble, nor the gilded monuments…), but instead of referring to my lady’s beauty, I spoke of our love.

I pity my words now, I think. For if it was made in heaven, would it that the union still be lasting, perchance.

I’m not sure if I’m done with it or not yet, and I know I corrupt the metre about two thirds or so through. Still, any criticisms, opinions, etc. are more than welcome.

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Tags

love, time, shakespeare, gilded, lasting, finite

Comments

  • MyheART
    MyheARTalmost 3 years ago

    beautiful..:)

  • wigs
    wigsalmost 3 years ago

    so tender and beautiful x