Top reasons you're getting nothing from Santa

Sadly the economy has changed Santa’s’ “Ho Ho Ho” into “Lend me some dough ho ho”

That whole Elf thing at the mall last year that got way out of hand

That misunderstood comment about Mrs. Clause put you on his “Axis of Evil”

In cold weather you allow your pet Bull to sleep by the fireplace. And when he sees red…..

Your roof is a blasted deathtrap and last years cookies were stale!

You live in Texas and Santa found out the hard way that your chimney really is a venting pipe for an underground oil well

The Reindeer union goes on strike at 12:01 am Christmas. Something to do with the Elves pin the tail on the reindeer game

You belong to the National Rifle Association and anything on your property after dark is fair game

Global warming has melted Santa’s ice city and it is now floating in the Gulf Stream

You have pulled his elastic beard and snapped it back for the last time!!

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