6/5/2008 6:45pm
Still in an awkward place
still feeling a little lost
emotions that i have had
have turned to bitterness and hate.
the luster of happiness has changed
to loss of self and worth
I am a recovering drug addict
recovering from heart ache, disbelief, lies, and hate
i don’t ever feel like getting high
although, at the same time…
i don’t like feeling the way i am currently
but getting high wouldn’t fix my problem
so there’s no need to go out and waste my life on that.
writing helps me get my emotions out
even though i am trying to hide from them right now.
encouragement would be gladly appreciated at this time
-joe
p.s.
suggestions of great art for me to look at
would/could cheer me up… something beautiful
to conter-act with the way i feel.
HeatherTS
go to http://www.juxtapoz.com/ lotsa great stuff there…i am always inspired when i visit that sight i ADORE KRIS KUKSI…http://www.kuksi.com/ at first you will think there isn’y anything beautiful on that site just AMAZING artwork but if your go through his stuff you will find the man can do anything and EVERYTHING…he’s so damned “AWE”some…check it out might be a bit dark for you right now but worth a look for sure look at his fantastic realism i think it is some of the most beautiful shit out there (though this may atest to how “disturbed i really am?)
HeatherTS
and i think you frickin rock…seriously..it takes balls to try and quit doin the dirty….and ya we will messup but as long as you know you messed up and try again that is all tat matters…i know not e veryone will see it that way but you know it right?...and with the whole “love” drama you got goin on…there is a reasobn and lesson to be learned. it just means there is someone even better out there waiting for you…
conceited replied
thank you very much, i will check out Kris Kuksi
i like things that are dark, might be able to relate really well
right now… yeah i’m tired of messing up… i’ve done it for so long and never learned anything from it.. except to blame others for the problems i made myself. I don’t do that anymore… which is mine, i’ve done… just trying to learn from my mistakes like you’ve stated and grow as a person.
Care
Big Hug Joe: )....keep writing it out….it helps….helps you to know how you’re feeling : )...close the door on one way…the way that brings you down…and open the door to the new…you’ll be ok…will be here if you’re ever really down : )
conceited replied
Big hugs back… d=) i plan on keep writing about it til i feel better, it’s working so far. Right now in a sick twisted way
I think i’m just sitting in the mess, i know i should move on
but i’m just so stuck in the dark that I cannot get out. I think i will try your philosophy.. close the door on the depression and open the door of happiness. Thank you, I really appreciate it.
gutterhubris
Keep going…it gets better. You’re a good writer and sound ready to have something worth keeping – self-worth is a pretty good place to start. My current favorite quote, from a great French Absurdist, Jean Genet. “A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness.”
For art…not happy-pretty, but totally fucking amazing…Martin Ramirez and genius wielding of space and form. He can only really be appreciated on full-color plates and so a trip to the library…Generally, though, I recommend going there anyway, finding the art aisles and finding who moves you.
Don’t know you, but I’ll be sending hope your way. Good luck.
conceited replied
Thank you, it always does get better, i’m just trying to figure out where the betterness is. I feel like i’ve lost myself, trying to find me and the goodness is hard right now, but i am trying.. my dreams have changed and i guess i need to renew my look on everything.
I will go look at some art by Martin Ramirez, cause if it’s totally fucking awesome… i’m all in for it!
bmail is a great way to get to know me.
and a great way for me to get to know you.
i’m a hopeless Retard in lamens terms
i type how i feel…
honesty makes me feel better.
I will now go check out your redbuble…