This is not my Day

I’m going through somethings
Or should I say
Somethings are going through me
Like accidental baseballs
Collapsing through neighboring windows
These things are crashing through me
Bringing me to pieces
Shattering me
Leaving me
An empty frame
And vulnerable
Allowing silent invaders
To invade and steal me of everything
Peace
Love
Hope
Tomorrow
Dignity
Dreams
My soul
And everything else that follows
Seems like a black hole has replace my heart
And its I it tries to swallow
I feel myself becoming hollow
I feel empty
I find myself lost
No direction of where I’m heading
I feel like my body just arose from its slumber
After being tucked in to rest by the guillotine
And my head still rests on the floor
Not in a pool of drool
But a pool of blood
Sunken in the mud
And I lurk around in the shadows of tomorrow
Feet tracking parts of me
With each step
I lose me
Trying to find the light of day
The day of tomorrow
For I am going through somethings
Or should I say
Somethings are going through me
And this is not my day

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I was thinking of the day I had talked to the college of my choice and found out at last minute that I wasn’t going to be able to attend, yet again adding to my 2yrs of being out of college ….it hurted so much to be so close, but at the same time so far away …..I truly wanted to finish college and become someone ….I want to be one of the first to complete college in become someone in my family ….it was one of my grandma dying wishes and I will make it come through …..and I was just hit hard that I couldn’t attend I was crying on the phone and everything ….I tried to hold the tears and the disappointment back and drown silently in them since I didn’t want my friend (poeticgenius and my aunt) to see me in a weaken state, but the emotion was to strong…..I’m hoping that for the spring semester I can attend college again ….For my journey will not end in this run down complex….infested with those who gave up on their dreams….by those who don’t see tomorrow only today…..by drug addicts and killers…..I will not be a slave to the streets and submit myself to the poverty and the sin the streets offer …..no I shall be someone ….one day

Comments

  • S .
    S .about 5 years ago

    u will get there man, i got faith in ya
    its been a great journey thus far, dont let any obstacle stand in ur way
    onelove peace

  • Thanks big bro….see thats why the first thing i do when i wake up is head to my sanctuary … REDBUBBLE.COM … the first thing ….i still have crust in my eyes, morning breath and dried drool lipstick…lmao ….for this place is home to angels winged with words that allow them to fly and lift others to gated paradise….people like you bro keep me going and its truly nice to be amongst my family here…for dude don’t really have family so this is my new adopted family….and you my big bro ….dueces …daz out one love peace

    – colorblind

  • SanjaXOXO
    SanjaXOXOabout 5 years ago

    Dez….I don’t know what moved me more….your poem or the write-up about your school….this may not be your day…but everything happens for a reason and trust me….tomorrow will be better (and I know that cuz you deserve it to be!!)……

    …..NEVER EVER GIVE UP!!!!!

    XOXO

  • awwww thanks Sanja ….truly i’m glad you share your words with me and your xoxoxo…smilez
    truly a blessing indeed ….and you know i can’t give up …not will glorious people like you having my back no, not at all ….smilez ….xoxoxoxoxo

    – colorblind

  • RaOrEmraeh
    RaOrEmraehabout 5 years ago

    I KNOW you will get there. There isn’t a doubt in my mind. One thing you have to remember too….you wrote
    I truly wanted to finish college and become someone ….I want to be one of the first to complete college in become someone in my family
    YOU ALREADY ARE!!!

  • Thanks truly Cass !!!! really that really made a dude smile….because at times i do feel like i’m roadkill and my life is just rotten in the streets and cars are running over my carcass repeatedly without a care in the world …but your words truly bring me up from the slump thanks a million truly from the heart …daz

    – colorblind

  • Christie  Moses
    Christie Mosesabout 5 years ago

    Let nothing stand in the way of your dreams. You WILL get there :) A beautiful piece of writing that really touched my heart. Cassidys comment is true. Its not what position you attain in life that determines whether you are SOMEONE, it is your heart. So I guess that makes you pretty damned important because its obviously a beautiful one :) xoxo

  • Awwwwww these words …these words!!! truly like heart surgery and they truly are stitching me up with a smile…..love your words indeed ….truly what a dude could use to float on and leave behind the yesterdays and look forward to a better tomorrow ….truly thank you Christie …not only for your words but being apart of my life….daz

    – colorblind

  • rubyjo
    rubyjoabout 5 years ago

    “I shall be someone… one day”
    that day is already here
    hang on to your dreams, keep moving forward, bust through those obstacles, and keep in mind that colorblind is one hell of a talented man…

  • Awwwww …..RUBY !!!!!! what a cupid arrow through the soul and heart of I
    Truly loving the embrace of your words ….i don’t want to let go off them…..truly love the support and push to continue on…..lovely of you to show me so much love ….thank you truly from the bottom of my soul ….daz

    – colorblind

  • theyellowfury
    theyellowfuryabout 5 years ago

    Don’t let it get on top of you

    See it through to the end with this attitude and you’ll be happy you did.

  • truly whatsup ….smilez :)
    thank you fury i know i will
    truly thank you for your time and support ….a catapult leaving me to land on cloud 9 thank you

    – colorblind

  • linaji
    linajiabout 5 years ago

    Everyone has said it..
    Know NOW. who you are. when you see yourself NOW as the success we all see you as,
    No door that is already waiting for you to walk through will allude you again.
    This is just a way for you to practice before you get the ‘goods’.. that
    YOU ARE THE GOODS_.
    Feel better now and feel the wholeness of all you have become NOW.. and you put a smile of knowing back on your face. you shall feel the doors open because you are Creator .. your reality starts with
    .
    Somethings are going through me _’
    Somethings sure are:
    I am becoming more of who I desire everyday
    I feel it cause look here,
    these people see the light I know that is me
    it seems at times I am not ‘there’ yet,
    no because I am HERE.
    I look around for all that I have NOT BECOME
    AND OH …what a winner I am!
    I am becoming honed like a sharp knife
    cutting through the lies that my life is not full of joy and bounty
    I am becoming tempered like glass indestructible and resistant
    to the lie that life is hard
    I close my eyes and feel the ease of my words spilling out a new story
    I am blessed
    I am gift
    I am joy.
    My new life deserve new story
    I shall say now
    I am free.
    I am becoming all that I desire and I feel it cause
    look here
    these people see the light that I know is me
    and I am free.
    so free that I choose a story to tell
    a little’ fake till I make it’
    but when I feel this light cutting through
    when I feel the strength of my tempered will victorious
    I know each of these moments of disappointment
    were but part of understanding looking back
    that when I fully continue to keep my heart open
    and my joy in my NOW.
    ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
    cause what do I think I am gonna feel
    when those doors open?
    I think I am gonna ‘feel good, or better, or proud’
    See..
    You gotta feel them now.. so that vibe attracts the
    vibe you ‘think’ you gonna have tomorrow.
    there is only now
    I am winner NOW
    I am graduated NOW
    intelligent and poetic as hell
    and Genius
    NOW.
    My story of feeling good starts
    NOW.
    then see.. when I close my eyes and know
    I can feel good NOW no matter what.
    The Universe will deliver the Goods
    for I am THE GOODS.
    I AM NOW.
    (keep that heart open.. it attracts all you desire)
    ..
    xx
    Linaji 2009

  • I must say Linaji ….you are one of the most incredilbe people I have came blessed to encounter for this hit me hard and I must say this is totally incredible for you to manifest these words and inject me with them word after word is like no other drug ….for this drug is a orgasmic bliss of happiness ….and i love it…!!!! :) …. you really did me in with this comment …i love it …it deserves a …..

    thank you for this it really touches me …thank you indeed ….love ya Linaji xoxoxo …colorblind aka daz

    – colorblind

  • Ty Beach
    Ty Beachabout 5 years ago

    I am very certain that you have many good days ahead. I love this poem because it illustrates how we can feel lost when love is lost… love is a solid thing and not abstract at all.. it keeps us anchored.

  • Awwww thank you ty truly love every ounce of love from ya chick …thumbs up to ya …xoxoxo daz

    – colorblind

  • linaji
    linajiabout 5 years ago

    you just made my week.. now seehow dat works!! WOW DAZ..XXX

  • S M I L E Z….. I DO NOW ….

    – colorblind

  • blamo
    blamoabout 5 years ago

    Believe ……………………….

  • THANK YOU TONE ….I SHALL DO SO ALONG WITH DREAM HOPE AND LIVE

    THANK YOU DEAR FRIEND

    – colorblind

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