I Charissa May Borroff truly believe my illness has been a blessing in disguise. Because the only thing that can follow is self healing. I was suprised when I started taking perscription pain killers for chronic pain related to endometriosis, how much pain I could still feel. From that point my life went down hill. After floating in painful apathy for a few years I felt like I needed more help than a perscription. This is when my journey started; when I new I couldn’t spend the rest of my life feeling helpless. I was ready to try almost any complimentary therapy I could lay my hands on. I did find the right therapy for me and I was suprised that when my pain levels began to drop, that wasn’t the end of my troubles because the pain had tortured my nerves for so long. I was suprised to notice a direct relationship with my feelings and my pain. I knew I had to actively do something my self for the sake of my health. When I feel fine and I stop making the effort, all my work comes undone. I didn’t ever want to be ill ever again.This isn’t an easy jounrney and there is always work to be done but it is better than going back to illness.
Happiness just doesn’t happen without any effort. I have to keep moving. Along this journey I have met some very kind and knowledgable friends that have passed on to me unforgetable life changing books and words of encouragement. I’ve found unexpected and extraordinary treasures that I have overlooked for years. I have searched for helpful information far and wide so that I can solve my list of problems. I present to you these useful implements of self healing from my medicine bag that I see as essential on my journey of self healing.
My definition of pain is tortured nerves that deprive health and happiness e.g backache, depression, stress, tinnitus. There is a physical pain and mental pain that can be brought about to anyone at anytime by anything. I offer these suggestions for you to embrace and explore a journey from the killer storm to a sea of tranquility… … I hope you don’t mind my sense of humour inbedded in here as well xxc;
Sometimes it’s easy to forget we have animal bodies. We are omnivorous mammals with a wild heritage. We must rescue our animal bodies as if we are rescuing an wild injured creature. It’s so importanat to get the right medical treatment and keep up with regular health checks and appropriate medication. Crank up a regime of eating a natural unprocessed and balanced diet. You wouldn’t let a rescue animal miss breakfast and then wait until 5pm to hand it a load of lardy fatty stodge crammed with sugar, salt, caffine, preservatives, colourings, MSG and stimulants ( It just agitates and stalls the body’s natural healing process) Make sure there is plenty of fresh water to refresh your body’s constant need of this magical life giving substance. The area of the brain that deals with thirst is the same area that deals with pain. It’s good to think of ourselves as walking millponds full of water. We are ourselves a habitat for single celled life forms that depend on water. A regular fresh supply will ward off stagnation and keep all the little friendly microbes inside us healthy. Ensure there is plenty of rest to allow the body to concentrate on recovery. Keep clean and well groomed. Start a sensible reintroduction programme back into the wild once healthy and strong.
e.g light from darkness, dispelling pollutants, awakening, flourishing, thriving free from hinderment of the negative thoughts that pain has conditioned in you. Address the experience of liberation from afflictions.
Concentrate on the possibility that you can stop your suffering. Cultivate your understanding of the sensation of halting suffering in you. This desire can activate this change. Have you had enough of the way pain bullies you? Imagine the power of your thought clearing away your pain. Like the sound of it? Fancy a try? There’s no harm in trying is there!
IDENTIFYING HARMFUL NEGATIVITY (this is a biggy)
e.g. Propaganda, crappy trivial media, overwhelmed by harmful emotions like anger, fear, guilt, hopelessness and resentment, busy roads, Places with bad atmosphere’s, letting negative thoughts of your own hurt you, reliving painful memories, destructive thoughts like telling yourself that you are OK and that don’t need medication when you do need it. Or self criticism. Be observant, identify harmful negativity and take control of your negative situations in a positive way!
A big issue is exposing yourself to “Toxic” people or “Emotional Vampires” that will exploit your good nature. These can be strangers, friends or family who persistently do any of these abusive or manipulative things; Constant demands, constantly putting you down or criticising you making you feel that nothing you do is good enough, Ignore what you say and act as if you don’t exist, Take up more than their fare share of attention/ conversation/ physical space, constantly invade you’re personal space with probing questions so that you feel interrogated, constantly invading you’re personal space by giving themselves a free reign picking through you’re belongings “borrowing things” without asking and having a free reign around your home opening draws and cupboards without asking, talk “about” you rather than “to” you or talk “over” you, Spread gossip and rumours that undermine you, Express in actions/ words/ tone of voice or body language that you are stupid/ignorant/incompetent/odd or defective. No-one is any of these things all the time. If you are believing what they say to you then you have been hit badly, Undermining comments about your past errors or shortcomings – giving constant reminders that diminish and deny you any “fresh start” or acknowledgment of your efforts/intentions or progress towards change, Copying elements of your individuality and taking credit for it or emulating a better version of you. Drain your energy, time and other resources, by their constant need for help/ advice/ sympathy/ attention/ information/ confidence-boosting/ rescuing/ emotional or financial support all add up to a pattern of “clingy” dependency, bully/ manipulate/ pressurize/ encourage you to have feelings of guilt on a regular basis or feelings of inadequacy or inferiority, Make poisonous remarks that leave you feeling belittled/frustrated/guilty or threatened(If somebody says something that keeps reeling around in your mind upsetting you through the night , that is more or less a psychic attack to you really), Deceive you, steal from you/ or “borrow” things but don’t give them back, Damage the things of value to you like possessions relationships and your ethical values, demean you by talking to you as if you have limited knowledge and understanding as if they are informing you valuable knowledge when in matter of fact they are just stating the obvious, Do not allow you to live your life your own way with your own beliefs and your own personal space. They possibly may not have learnt about the importance of respect for boundaries and have an invasive nature.
“Toxic” people can either be unaware or very aware of what they do. None the less it has the same results and can give you setback after setback energy wise. Leaving you feeling drained and exhausted. Toxic people have burdens too and will feel insecure with themselves. But they are dealing with their pain in an unhealthy negative way. They may be unaware that their ego has inflated after some traumatic event. A natural response but unhealthy if the ego has been aloud to run riot and cause nuisance. This will manifest as being more self centered than most and possibly have over narcissistic qualities. All that they touch will be dragged down with them or pushed down to give them a lift. They will probably have a few friends that get rundown and ill quite regularly. They will have limited self awareness or social awareness and may lack some compassion and respect for all living things. A funny put down is a put down none the less and will have come from a deep insecurity. Jealousy is an admission of inferiority.
It is best to walk away if possible. Even if you are feeling relatively healthy, it makes no sense to expend time and energy with little or no payback or negative payback. Before you know it, you will be back you square one or worse. Don’t fool yourself that you can deal it over the long-term. Anger is very like pain in the way that it pops up to raise the alarm that harm has been done. It is also like pain in the way that it shouldn’t be lived with and should be acted upon to get some relief. So turn a negative into a positive by whatever means you can and take control of your destiny for the sake of your health.
If you value their friendship perhaps it could be worth making them aware that you are trying to heal and that you could really appreciate their support by being a better listener or being more tactful and for their benefit, they need you to point out some unhelpful behavior of theirs. I’d feel awful if someone thought I was doing anything to offensive and I’d really appreciate being told so that I could make it up in some way. Things may not be what they seem. Use your strong feelings positively to raise awareness. By communicating your feelings you may be doing them a favor by holding up a mirror to them and may strengthen your relationship and dissipate any destructive resentment.
However this can be a very exhausting thing to do and even the thought of this could be harrowing to deal with when you have a longterm illness and so will have very little energy. If that is the case remember that you are the one with an illness, they have given you set backs, and that is a reasonable enough reason to walk away!
If everyone had the strength to walk away they would have to face what they are avoiding with their stirring and web weaving.
Most importantly you have to deal with these people in a way that makes you feel most comfortable. To end up feeling drained you have infact let go of your much needed energy. So Change the way you deal with things to maintain your feeling of lightness. If that is ignoring them and singing Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive then so be it. so be it. You can imagine that you are being protected by that “ready break” glow or make a positive affirmation in your mind that you deserve love and respect. You could imagine Kim and Aggie appalled by the foulness that comes out of their mouth as they scrub away their heavy dark atmosphere with lemon juice and elbow grease! Imagine Tinkerbell is firing fairy dust at the offending person. Use your imagination You could even imagine turning your anger into a healing beam of light from the pit of your stomach that will lighten them up and cleanse any darkness from them. Or perhaps play a sort of Bingo and use your sense of humour. As you cross off all of their known bad character traits that normally get you down give yourself a treat when you get a full house! Try carrying small symbolic keep sakes to remind you that you are now stronger and are protecting yourself actively but peacefully. Like Tourmaline or obsidion to ward off negativity. You could even create your own protective charms and talismans.
With a bit of research you’ll find that there are many symbolic items and materials that are used for these very purposes. If they show no signs of letting up and you feel injustice, send out the wish that they get back everything they deserve for hurting you. so they get back what they’ve sent out. As long as you are a kind person this is the best message to shout out loud because you haven’t wished them anymore harm than they have already done themselves (which is enough). This makes sure that nothing harmful comes back to you and an order for their come uppence has been made. They will get the message.
All of the below will help healing and self development greatly and help you to learn how to protect yourself and also trust in yourself to find new ways to cope with negativity.
Allow your being to exist as an organism. Let the cells in your body take stock and do some housekeeping without any exterior pressures. You may regularly experience a cloud of anxiety. A blinkered focus on relaxing the body and slowing the breath can overcome traumatic feelings like panic or anger. Focus on breathing very deeply so that your belly pokes out as you breathe in gently and try to breath out even slower than you breath in, have a long bath, get someone to dry your hair and brush it. Try massage or facials, have a little footbath, spend a day out on the lawn with some magazines! try some Tai Chi, Dedicate an uncluttered space somewhere to relaxation, Meditate, Close the door on hustle and bustle; take a leaf from the sleepy dogs and cats. Why should they have all the fun falling a-sleep all the time! This could be time spent well if you have trouble sleeping at night. Maybe you can take some of the relaxation techniques you have learnt to bed and make them become part of your night time ritual.
RESPECT FOR ONESELF
e.g. your respect in yourself earns respect in others. It shows others your integrity. An admirable approachable quality but also shows others your much needed boundaries. Don’t put up pretences because peole can only respond to your pretences. When you keep up appearances and put up walls you simply cut yourself off from the the healing you need from freinds who may suspect things aren’t as they seem but can only act on the reality you provide. Try to be yourself and be the best person it is within you to be. Allow yourself space when you need it. Dedicate a special place or time to respect yourself and learn from yourself. Create sacred space that is cut off from the mundane world where you can relax, write, create meditate or be inspired. Give yourself a chance to smile play, nurture yourself as if you are your own child. How will you ever look after yourself if you haven’t got that respect for yourself.
RESPECT FOR ALL LIVING THINGS
e.g. all sentient things naturally seek happiness and want to be free of suffering. Look after your environment. When you have the energy , support causes in your locality and trust that when everyone does this it makes the whole world a better place. Make sure you support your loved ones in a way to have as happy a life as possible. Take pride in the support and help that you give out. Be tactful and kind. A little goes a long way and back to you. It’s making helpful allies really. I’ll scratch your back you scratch mine. Cultivating compassion through kind hearted altruism renews the determnation to end suffering and also generates helpful friends! a little thought that If someone has given you the time and effort of friendship let them know how good that is. Don’t take liberties. Don’t gossip someone’s secrets they’ve entrusted in you. No one exists on the planet for you to gain petty fun at their expense. To treat someone with little respect is demeaning to both parties. They might not let on what you’re doing to them but they will think you’re stupid and of limited awareness. You may not be able to help yourself; it might be a hard habit to break especially if no one is telling you so you think you are getting away with it. But you have to respect that some people may have better observation skills than you. Therefore you get less respect back. Respect that although you may not be able to see it. Everyone has a cross to bear of some form. It may not be as great a burden as yours. Burdens are relative and that someone could feel equally as overwhelmed as you. You may not see their burden but you shouldn’t pile more burden energy wise onto someone by taking liberties because you think they look fine to you. Or shouldn’t make them feel bad because they haven’t got it as hard as you. You will get out of life what you put in. If you give good people you’re best they’ll give you their best! " My religion is very simple; my religion is kindness" – the Dalai Lama
e.g. when things are getting tough it’s because you’re in a territory that you can learn something from. Dealing with a problem ahead of you is better than giving up and going back into old territory with your old problems. There is no going back. Just push forward one little bit at a time. Idleness and apathy will send you back to square one “You will reap just what you sow” There will be triumphs!
e.g. Know you already have the answers within you, know that you can get through things, get over things, endure things, you will trust in yourself more when you look back and see the hardships you have already steered through and overcome. If you feel like your past experiences have taken a bite out of you and left you exhausted. Then it’s time to relax and start drawing on some positivity to give you energy. Think what your ancestors achieved. They pulled it out of the bag so can you! After all you carry their blood in your veins. Trust in the strength of you’re own mind. Allow your self to dream if you are a dreamer. Allow your mind to visualize the healing you seek. When you are comfortable with yourself to use visualization then you can take yourself to all the places of healing that exist. But you have to believe in yourself and trust yourself. If you feel playful go with it. Being yourself is the most noble and honest thing to do. You are your own hero! The more trust in yourself and your ability to self-heal, the more effective your healing will be! Listen to your needs. Act on your wisdom knowledge and inspiration that you find.
CONNECTING WITH NATURE
e.g. going to parks, beaches, sitting by a river or a pond, woods, mountains, heath land, the colours textures and scents of nature. Understand that you are part of nature and so join in with the fun. Plant things, visit local parks and enjoy that you are entering a world of healing, growth, fruitullness, death and rebirth. All the things around us good or bad come from the earth in some way; it’s just that some things are from that happier and lighter end of the spectrum than other things. Depend on the earth and celebrate the earth. Find stories about the place you live; how have the ancestors of you home shaped the land. Use soil from your important places to pot your house plants in! Pay tribute to the earth for it’s support. Feeling grounded in the earth by simply being aware of your constant physical connection with the earth, gardening or imagine forging a golden umbilical type link between the soles of your feet and the powerful molten core of the earth which fills you and surrounds you with a golden “ready break” glow for the day. Grounding can be energizing, centering, stabling, strengthening, comforting, healing and protecting. The more time you can spend doing any of these the better!
CONNECTING WITH POSITIVITY
e.g. Lightness, Love, colours, comedy, Celtic Harp music, what makes you really happy? feeling lucky, enjoying coincidence, gratefulness for all the plusses in life, playfulness, enjoying natural beauty, seeing the real magic of life, beautiful manmade structures, great celebrations, good memories, incredibly fabulous creative works, objects with positive associations, Anthemic belters of songs, Favourite TV themes, The power of positive words, affirmations, beautiful scents that trigger good memories and positive associations, good people, lovely pets, beautiful locations. Remember the good times. Re-live the good times. …
POSITIVE SYMBOLIC MEANING
e.g. Elements of nature, Dawn chorus CD, heroes, saints, angels, fairies, deities, archetypes, mythical creatures, icons, athletes, fictional characters, Mantras, Yantras and Tantras, Sacred chants CDs, Relaxing Spa music CDs, Hello Kitty, Bart Simpson, The A-Team, animal guides, pictorial symbols like a hearts / stars, celtic patterns, or Runes. “In every corner of my soul, there is an alter to every god” – Fernando Pessora. These all represent the many different aspects of human nature and aspects of healing to focus on. Let these be an example to you. Let Yoda guide your spirituality. Let mother Mary impart some of her nurturing to you, Read out aloud a phonetic tantra to Kali the goddess who destroys negativity to make way for your new positivism. Absorb your symbol’s magical characteristics. Objects that represent a source of healing energy to you like a shell to connect you with you’re favourite beach. Objects that represent aspects of your life that you want to concentrate on for healing like a picture of a strong healthy Oak tree lush with green leaves. These can have a profound and positive effect on your mind your mood and your health. They can make you feel safe, inspired, motivated and keep you reminded of your mission to heal. Play music to immerse your body & mind in a pattern of rhythms and harmony, words from the heart or energetic excitement. Focus on the sensation of that feeling or impression of your positive symbolic meaning via daydreaming or meditaion. Read stories about your heroes to get under their noble skin. Imagine being that positive role model. Remind your self of the qualities you admire in someone by having their pictures about. Enjoy what they have created. Sing their songs. Respect their story.
POSITIVE SYMBOLIC ACTIONS e.g. Planting seeds, walking up hills and mountains,
wishes, prayers, spells, rituals, dances, cooking, banquets, parties, toasts, shopping, Exercise, running, cycling, Martial arts, Yoga, gigs, performance, Treated with respect and prepared for with respect can make effective and amplify the power of your intentions to profoundly heal, gain inspiration and focus on enhancing healing aspects of your life. Paint dramatically on a canvas and really let rip. Sing along to an anthem like Siouxsie Sioux’s Swan. Go out on the town with friends, dance in a circle and pass a really groovy hat or a feather bower round. The one with the hat dances in the middle to make a healing positive circle of friends celebrate what got you all together or what keeps you together. Use your imagination, the more personal your action the more healing energy it will have. Celebrate all of your milestones and changes in your life with symbolic actions. Use props with positive symbolic meaning. Use atmospheric lighting perhaps with coloured light bulbs, fairy lights, candles or a full moon, and set the scene with nice cushions and blankets. Get into costume and get dressed up to help your mindset get in the healing zone.
CONSERVING ENERGY (not to be overlooked)
e.g. it is human nature to make out everything is ok and that you are fine to friends and family. But if you look fine people will assume you are fine. This can be ok in short amounts of time like a quick cuppa at a friends but the bigger event with more people can becoming very exhausting and take at least week to recover from so bear in mind that you should plan you’re time wisely. Or be honest with how you are feeling then people can understand.
RECORDING YOUR PROGRESS
e.g. this can be essential when you hit low times so that you can remind yourself how far you have come. Take photos, polaroids, write journals, write lists, write recipes, reviews, poems, stories, record a song, make a film, use a dictaphone, keep sketch books, keep albums, scrap books, keep boxes for your keep sakes. Use your creativity to produce creative artworks of all kinds. This is your personal experience you have unique observations, feelings , perceptions and insights that are too precious to forget. This is an infinite source of positivity to you. Dedicate your creative works to your personal and courageous story.
© Copyright property of Charissa May Borroff All Rights Reserved 2008
It maybe useful to print this out for reference. There’s a lot of stuff here.
These implements of healing;
When these are activated by meditation, creative work (all of the visual arts, drama, dance, writings, good food, and music) and also by incorperating these tools into everyday life. There is no going back once this journey is started.
I need to shine the torch back through the tunnel of pain that I’ve been through.There is a way out. Based on my experience of emotions and health being linked. I have written this manifesto for many reasons. My Manifesto has elements of alternative practices for healing which I see as most benefical and relevent to my healing experience. A simple bit of information can solve a big problem sometimes. Just one little moment of connecting and thinking. As simple as that. It may be placebo but hey it works!
I’m dedicated to promoting healing. I’ve taken on recomendations for books from friends and also attended public talks and have taken notes from The Dalai Lama’s visit to Nottingham Arena. I’ve met life coach Fay Hartwell, sound therapist Nicola Kelshall, Mark Graham a druid, a Elaine Mein a hereditory witch, Robert Hawk and Anam Gemma both shamans. I can see that the essential part of healing is firstly about the power of thought and allowing the body to deeply relax to experience soothing sensations. Dealing effectively with negativity and embracing positivity as much as possible will strengthen the connection with the self,. Body and mind. When you suffer terribly it can make you desperatly want to leave the painful body behind to go somewhere peaceful. All of the genuine alternative healing practicioners work with the intention to get you to feel happy and safe in your own skin again. The experience of a painful illness is a traumatic and powerful thing. The mind is a powerful thing and needs powerful positive experiences to communicate the intention to heal. Nothing to do with hippy dippy mumbo jumbo but a practical intentional management of the mind and body. Things like sensation, visualization, compassion and intention are essential componants of a positive healing medicine.
This manifesto works to supply some key suggestions of going about guiding the power of thought to concentrate on healing. This is the foundation of which I base my therapeutic creative artwork sessions on. But also to record what I have found useful to myself and act as a reminder. I hope you feel like printing this out and keeping as a guide so that you can find empowerment and help in this too. Please contact me if you have any questions.