Gravity

I bought these pants called Nancy Ganz
To realign my bottom
Gone are the days
When it would stay
With ones made just from cotton

I put them on excitedly
With hope of former glory
Alas, it was not meant to be
In fact, a different story

The legs so tight it hurt my back
To get them past my knees
A tourniquet around my thigh
My veins began to seize

Pulling and yanking
And twisting and cranking
Finally, I had them in place
Though the bursting mid seam
Was on quite a lean
And it left me all red in the face

So, I threw them away
And I’m glad of that day
Cause it all was a frightful admission
That my ole’ derriere
Is now destined to stay
In its gravitating position

By C.Swanson

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Tags:

poem, chanel2 and arsecompbum