Chanel2

I’ve got two piles of knickers
For my fluctuating size
One’s from eating apples
And, well…
One’s from eating fries

They suit my yoyo habits
Never causing any grief
Though, once when in…

Little Sally Sanson
Found a plastic ruby bead
It was smaller than a marble
Yet, much bigger than a seed

She tried to roll it sideways
As she played upon the floor
But the bumpy plastic …

Peter was a dancer
A Polynesian hottie
He’d thrust his hips
High in the air
Showing off his bottie

Yes, Peter was a dancer
The girls down front would scream
Making him more confident
…

I’m glad that I’m not famous
With my clumsy 2 left feet
There’d be so many photos
Of me tripping down the street
Lying very awkwardly
My feet up in the air
My wobbly bits for all to see …

Mrs Thomas had a moustache
At the local corner dairy
Where she lived with Mr Thomas
Who was equally face hairy

Mrs Thomas had a moustache
And she wore it rather proud
While she scooped …

Slow cars
Busy highways
Car blinkers OFF
When moving sideways
Everyday I go insane
When driving next to
SHIT FOR BRAINS!
Why can’t you be considerate?
Get off the road, you IDIOT!
Avoi…

I reminisce of a butt
All smooth and tight
No bumps and lumps
Made worse when white

Those days ago
When all was right
The days
“Before the Cellulite”

Knee high stockings
Were …

With summer sun
The show arrived
Upon a sleepy town
Bringing forth excited gasps
From children all around

The empty field at Solway Park
Was soon a busy banter
Of trucks and tents
La…

There’s a place that I go
To creatively grow
Expressing and purging
What’s past

I do it with ease
As it’s easy to please
Where creations come
Straight from the heart

The people I’ve…

I wish I were a poet
The really clever kind
That could make up clever poems
The ones that seldom rhyme

Upon the page I’d place
Long and clever words
The kind you must look up
The kind …

I know someone beautiful
It radiates equally from within
Her elegance and charm as smooth
As her soft olive skin
Men flock to be in her presence

I know someone beautiful
Who suffered a …

Trees shed their worn brown clothing
Raw beauty now abounds
Beneath their slender trunks
Bronze carpeting surrounds

Green worn all summer season
Changed to yellow hues
A final stage of …

The bright light finds it’s opening through the clouds, shooting through enough glare to make my eye’s squint. I raise my hand to salute the sun while stretching my head forward to gain more c…

Evelyn moved her weary body around her kitchen in an awkward and uncomfortable way.

It would all be worthy, she thought to herself.

Today was Halloween and she needed to be ready for th…

There was no doubt our Mother loved us dearly. The only real problem was she didn’t love herself.

She wasn’t a bad person; after Dad left she just drank a lot and had way too many parties a…

Redbubble community had contacted me earlier in the week, asking for my help. They needed me to interview the leader of A.R.S.E, notorious shit stirrer "Danny":http://www.redbubble.com/people/…

Mabel and Bob sat next to their small campervan, drinking their tea and gazing over the ocean.

“What’s that thing over there under that rock?” Enquired Mabel.

“Where?”

“There!” Said Ma…

Sarah placed the needle on the record; the soft scratchy sound began to soothe her being.

She looked over at her husband and smiled.

As the music began, she grabbed his hand in hers a…

An evil smile ensued as he saw the small girl come through the school gate.

She looked up and saw him, took an anxious breath and tried to scurry off in the other direction. She hoped her…

Where the hell could it be? He had seen it fall, why wasn’t it right there?

Cursing out loud, Charlie lifted bits of dead Pine wood and dry bark, throwing them about with fearful frustra…