Infatuation

Infatuation

Like a guilty child, your grin cannot be wiped from your rosy cheeks, your eyes watery and your skin chapped, the cold air of winter has been hanging around longer this season.

Socks and scarves, woollens and knits, the busy city streets are adorned with people rushing from destination A to B, with little to no regard for others on the narrow walkways. Walking slowly, there’s no rush, no place to be by any particular time, sweet tunes fill your head, your body warmed by the various adornments of clothing. The walk is peaceful, you’re still grinning, taking your time. You are on your way to work, though, you have an hour or so before you have to be there. No rush. No biggie.

Though physically cold outside, the harsh winter’s morning could not ruin your mood. Your heart races, thoughts rush through your mind like the busy commuters around you. Your mind has turned into a super highway of thoughts and reactions, sending signals to different parts of your body.

You think of the quiet evening just passed. His smile, warm and welcoming, he made you feel valued, comfortable, and for once, happy. You want more of his incredible presence, you always want more of what makes you happy.

…Reactions.

Endorphins…

There’s a warming sensation in your chest, it climbs up your ribcage like a flimsy rope ladder, around your lungs, warming them and filling them with air, it stops when it embraces your heart. You become aware of the flow of life around you. Warm and content, your body continues to send messages to your arms, legs, head, heart and …there…

The giddy sensation enters your mind, the seed of attraction is planted, you cannot get him out of your mind nor do you ever want to.

He’s your fantasy man.

He ignites a fire, creativity and passion inside of you that has long been dormant inside the bolts and chains that you placed inside of yourself to protect you from hurt. You never want this flame to be snubbed out by reality – or worse, the truth.

Your mind flashes you split-second fantasies. Ones you should never utter to the world around you. You feel almost guilty for thinking such things at such a time of the morning – peak hour, where people become robots on their journey. The seeming warmth of love and compassion, thrown out the window, they become commuting cattle on packed trains and buses.

In flashes of time, you close your eyes, you can imagine yourself kissing his delicious lips, soft and tender, hands winding up his collarbone to the back of his neck, pulling him into the kiss, deeper and deeper. Your eyes open, you continue walking along the footpath, a man rushes past you and almost knocks you over, not even stopping to see if you are okay. A bit shaken, but not hurt, you continue on your way with the same grace as before.

As you walk, you zone out again and are greeted with the familiar feeling of inhaling his musky scent, letting it curl up your nostrils and into your brain, to be given another shot of endorphins. You are constantly dreaming of the kiss, the hungry kiss that you crave, the one that lets you know you’re wanted. His kisses melt your once-cold exterior, your heart has softened up to butter and your legs are jelly. Your brain is remnants of mush, your heart and nether regions are doing the thinking right now.

And then it all reforms into a memory of splendorous delight.

You’ve been replaying that perfect night in your mind.

Play.
Stop.
Rewind.
Stop.
Rewind.
Play.

As each kiss is exchanged, your lips burn and tingle, your heart races as it tries to free itself from inside your chest, and wants to jump into his. His kisses on the nape of your neck, and you cling to his. Emotions and smells mix in the air around you, this is your perfect moment. Sensations and explorations, you cling to him like you’ve never clung to anyone else before. He whispers raunchy nothings into your ear, suggestions, titillations and teases, your heart beats faster, and in one perfect motion, you become one. The smile on your face is from ear to ear, your hands caress his strong but gentle frame like a day-visitor tourist, you want to remember it all.

And you have.

This is why you grin so wide, your eyes sparkle with the reignited passion, your cheeks red like candy apples – not only because of the winter’s breeze. And your smile, is more mischievous than before.

You are infatuated.
(feeling more alive than ever).

This is, you think, how creation intended us to be.

And doesn’t it feel great!

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living, in, moments, time and thoughts