I’ve wandered all over.
with so little to lose.
Been roughed up, toughed up,
shaken down, and abused.
I’ve tried and I’ve failed,
again and again.
Tried praying for answers,
and searching within.
But I still haven’t figured,
no, I haven’t got a clue.
I still don’t know where I belong,
except that it’s not
where I’ve already been.

My mama’s still praying
My dad is still paying
I still don’t have a place to fit.
Know what I’m thinking?
That it’s time to move on.
Shame don’t like staying
in one place too long.
Don’t know where I’ll go.
Some place other than here–
Let’s see, what place haven’t I been?
Maybe I’ll walk right into
the sun, where there are
no more fights, no more losses,
no more battles left to be won.

I had a dream growing up
that I’d be the perfect son.
They would see me and smile,
call me their very best one.
My dream was just that, a dream
and not a future foretold.
Because ever since then,
the family’s grown cold.
They look strangely at me,
shake their heads back and forth–
wonder what happened, and why,
how their son fell so short.
They raised a true dreamer,
an incapable prince.
His moment never came,
maybe, it was missed.
Mama, you keep on praying.
Some day, dad will forgive.
Lord knows, I’m trying to make it.
I just wish it wasn’t so hard to live.

Chris Heidt © 2008