Bad Habits die hard
‘Just dip the corners’
‘Do you want to do it?… Didn’t think so’.
’It’ll take too long to dry if its too wet that’s all I’m sayin’
‘What time we got?’
‘Fifteen’
‘Plenty’
’That’s what you said the last time with the Shower Pisser’
‘That was different, I forgot the naked variable, here iron this’
‘What about the Bus Seat Snotter, nearly missed him’
‘And that was my fault how?’
‘Just sayin that’s all’
‘Yeah well enough of your ’just sayin’, unless you want to talk about the Snort Spitter?
‘Shaddup, I thought we agreed never to talk about him again’
‘Yeah well Quid Pro Quo’
’Don’t start that Latin shite . Here it’s done, now lets roll’
’And what time we got left?
‘Shaddup’
‘Look, while we’re waiting, are you sure you want to get this guy?’
‘Whatya mean?’
‘I mean he’s not the worst, he’s a finger licker, that’s it like’
’He’s a free loader finger licker, there’s a difference’
‘Yeah well if we do him this time, I’m definitely doin the Red light cyclist next’
‘Ok Ok now shaddup, here he comes. Is it folded right?’
‘Perfect, the headline is just making me cry with pride’
‘Pride and fall, now get over there and put it on top of the others, the right pile, it’s the Daily Times remember’
‘yeah yeah cool your jets……OK done’
‘Here goes’
‘OK he’s taken it up. Jesus see what you mean, licking the shit outta that thumb’
‘Slobbers all over every page, reads the whole lot and then leaves it back on the shelf, dirty bastard’
‘Ah, so that’s why you only put the arsenic on the corners, poor bastard is licking himself to death, nice one’
‘Take a picture of him with the newspaper in his hand, make sure you can read the headline’
‘why?’
‘Cos its perfection. I mean c’mon, a headline that’s about us, it reads BAD HABIT KILLERS murder again, and we’re using it to murder… again’
’Yeah, see your point. Hey, whatya think about doin one of those fuckers that park in the wheelchair spots next?
Comments
Fantastic Cathal… I will be more wary the next time I thumb through a magazine at the checkout! lol… x
yes! just check and see if it feels hot! Cheers Alison, hope you’re good
– Cathal .
i licked my finger then my thumb
that were roasted brown
with crumbs from bum
inspiring me with the shite you write
so common the Dubs keep up the fight
to make writing real keep things rude
and use your finger for finger food.
ah jaysis Tim it’s like having my very own Brendan Kenneally commenting on my work :) Great post, loved it
– Cathal .
Well now there’s an imagination at work!
Sandy, the Missus worries about my imagination some times let me tell ye :)
Thanks for the read, cheers
– Cathal .
Great imagery, really enjoyed this.
Hey hamper, yeah I kind of liked these tow killers, is that wrong of me? :)
– Cathal .
Ha ha. Very good. The dialogue only style worked really well and allowed the story to flow.
yeah it was a different way of showing the story alright, kind of hard to get the info out but yet keep it natural though! Thanks Brian
– Cathal .
I admit it… I’m a finger licker when donuts are in play…
thats ok when its your donut Luke? Just don’t go licking anybody else’s hole! (donut hole that is :)
– Cathal .
Excellent and there are so many other’s that need to be ‘taken for a ride’. I could easily give you a list of one hundred, starting with the shopping trolley ankle bashers hahahahah. This was a hoot.
pooh, I reckon you need to express this in true Pooh style with one of your stories, how about the two teenage boys you wrote about a while back, I loved those fella’s
– Cathal .
Oh my…that was a finger licking great write! I was laughing while waiting to get to the next line. The double dipper thing gets me…that’s just eeeewwww nasty!!!! E
Hiya mss3, great to meet you! AH yes the double dipper dickheads! Stop, you’ll have me on a rant again! Thanks for the read, think I’ll bounce over and read some of your stuff now, cheers
– Cathal .
It is pretty funny, a mixture of emotions… LOL
haha I’m not pissing you off any time soon…
great write, one of those that gets everyone that shits one on a bad day…xxx
would be nice to revenge some rudeness wouldn’t it :) thanks for the read
– Cathal .