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Zulu Fly...and the Pretty Girl Bench


The bench was empty when I landed on this wall, as you can see there are now four, but they didn’t arrive together and I had plenty of time to explore.
I’m Fly, or Zulu Fly if you want my full title, not to be confused with the common or garden fly. Zulu Flys are different, we’re story tellers, the fly on the wall that you always want to hear from, and today I’ve landed behind this bench which now has these pretty girls upon it. Want to listen?

I heard the first girl before I saw her, summer shoes flapping against her heels like a muffled spanish castinet, relaxing the air around her and unhurrying her pace. As she sat she didn’t need to check her watch, just lazily dropped her head to her knees and let her long hair fall forward and brush against her summer legs. She combed her ringless fingers through its length and grabbing it in two hands she balled it together and raised it into a clip shaped like a butterfly and pinned it to her head. Her hair smelled of freshly washed apple and I saw my reflection in little beads of sweat amongst the soft white hairs of her neck that she now let the summer breeze cool.
She took perfume from her brown leather bag and sprayed her feet and I spotted her ladybird as she reached forward, discreetly inked under the strap of her white summer tanning dress. She took a tablet from her bag and swallowed it with a sip of warm Evian and crossed her legs to wait.

Number two girl parked up within minutes and was the blue of the ocean side she had confidently walked from. Of dark complection and raven hair, her trousers came to below the knee of her long graceful legs and gladitorial leather adorned her feet. Elegance was her style and dark glasses her mask and number one girl watched her covetously as she model walked the slight incline. Her bag was expensive and a new diamond caught the sun before she entered the shade of my bench and I noticed her Navajo wrist band with interest. She slid her glasses to a crown and dazzled the pearls within in her mouth and if I was human I would have fallen in love.
They hugged and kissed comfortably

“So c’mon, tell me, I want to know everything” Ladybird giggled excitedly and patted the bench beside her. Elegance stood for a moment, leaned against the cool of the green washed wall and dropped the heavyweight bag with a clunk.

“I fucking hated them”

“Oh no, I don’t believe you. All of them?”

“Every God damn last one of them, including their ridiculous dog, little yapping excuse for a fur slipper. They made us sleep in separate bedrooms too, beleive that shit?”.

Elegance slumped to the bench and I had to move quickly for fear of a whip from her hair. Flies are fast but a venemous flick of a females mane has been known to catch many of us unawares.

“Well you were probably the first one they’ve seen so they were bound to be a little bit uncomfortable, don’t worry about it cricket. You’ll like them the next time, I’m always wrong with first impressions. I hated you the first time I met you remember that?”

“No” Elegance was sitting now, and staring back at her, she was good at the evils.

“Oh look here comes Kezz”, Ladybird jumped from the line of deathly sight and ran a few steps to greet the third girl of the bench.

Her name was obviously Kezz, (you’re overcome with my intelligence now aren’t you?)
She had shorter legs than her body suggested, and a gait that did nothing to enhance her femininity. Her best position was definitely sitting down, as I watched her shimmy between Elegance and Ladybird and throw her bag to the ground, kicking it beneath bench in a practiced move of her feet. She should have crossed her legs but didn’t, preferring instead to tap her feet on the concrete.

“So, what’s the plan pond scum, we chillin and spillin or shoppin and droppin?”

“Kez did you like me when we first …?”

Ladybird interrupted the question and brushed Kez’s denim and nervously exclaimed “I wish I could wear denim skirts, they always looks so, I dunno…”

“Skanky and mucky like I love doin it up against a wall?”

“Oh My God, no I didn’t mean that I was just ..” Ladybird blushed and Kez lightly punched her shoulder.

“Shadup woman and give me a neck rub, this heat is making me tense up”,

Kez shifted in her seat to face Elegance as Ladybird blew on her hands and began to massage her neck. Kez pulled the straps of her black top over her shoulders as a reminder of where the rub needed to go and a message that this wasn’t going to be a quickie. I watched Ladybird cast a quick eye at Elegance and look away again, and she seemed relieved to be doing something as she extended her bottom lip and blew a stray hair from her forehead.

“What time we got”? Kez asked as her head dropped slightly under Ladybirds soothing movements. Elegance held her watch under Kez’s nose.

“Upside down”

Elegance lifted her arm and somewhat sullenly muttered “twelve thirty”.

Excuse my interruption here, Zulu Flies are not supposed to interfere in the story, but I feel slightly guilty for saying that Kez looked better when she was sitting so I feel I should now add that Elegance only looked beautiful when she smiled, because at this point of the conversation she was looking decidedly high maintenance and in my opinion required a firm slap on her beautiful arse.

“Never on time is she, I’m Lee Marvin here”. Kez continued and then noticed the diamond and was suddenly reminded
“Hey how did you get on with the in-laws to be?” she blurted, oblivious to Elegance’s pout.

“She didn’t like them, poor cricket” Ladybird blurted and bit her lip, but it was too late and Elegance shot her another evil.

“I don’t want to talk about”

“Yeah like that’s goin to happen. C’mon spill your guts” Kez continued.

Elegance shifted uncomfortably and put a finger to her mouth as a laden shopper smelling of fish scurried past.

“Kez, can we keep it down a bit please, I don’t want to talk about it anymore, and if I was going to talk about it I wouldn’t be arranging to go for lunch in a public restaurant so the world and it’s mother could listen in”.

Kez raised her hand like a traffic cop, pulled her straps up again and rummaged through her bag, sitting back up with a cell phone against her ear as both myself and Ladybird jumped out of her way. Elegance looked at Ladybird and she blushed again and mouthed “sorry”. She was beginning to get my sympathy vote as Elegance dropped her sunglassed crown to her nose and pointedly sighed and crossed her arms as if she was in a soap opera or on a casting couch.
Hey lady it’s a bench up a shaded alley, who do you think you are? If I could have laughed I would have, but I can’t. Flies don’t laugh.

Kez scratched her hair and barked down the phone.

“Hey sis, where are you now?…….. OK, OK,…. chillax, only asking. Listen change of plan, we’re chillin and spillin but not in the restaurant,………. cos it’s too public……….. Jeez tell me about it…… anyway….. shadup for a minute will ye, bring pizza, I’m starvin and the with the puss on the faces of these two I reckon we could be here a while…. Ok cool…. yeah yeah I’ll pay…Jesus”

She snapped the phone shut, threw it into her bag and leaning forward pulled her shoulder straps down again. Ladybird assumed her position, I prepared myself for pizza and Elegance looked down the hill.

“Fuel is on the way pond scum”

“Kez I think you might need to pull your top up a bit cricket, that man walking by couldn’t take his eyes of your breasts, you don’t need to lean so far forward”

Kez didn’t answer, just lifted her hand and waved at Ladybird to continue.
I enjoyed the silence that then ensued. And just because I could, I flitted in front of Elegance to try and annoy her more, landing on her shoulder and dive-bombing her ear so she jumped with fright. But the heat was oppressive and I soon went back to the cool of the wall and waited. And if I were a betting Fly, I would have chanced a cowpat that it would be Elegance that would break the peace. I would have won.

“Kez you just fucking dribbled on my trousers” She shifted to the end of the bench and recrossed her legs.
Kez just moaned and Ladybird smiled and I watched the fourth of our girls walk the slight incline.

“Here’s your sis cricket”

“Ah food, I could eat a shit sandwich only I don’t like bread I’m that hungry”

You and me both Kez I felt like saying, but refrained. A Zulu Fly can never talk to the eavesdropees, it’s a life limiting offence, resulting in death by wing pulling or ruler flicking, car windscreen or electric zap. In other words, embarrassment, a denial of the noble death we all wish for. The duel. The battle with an adversary of equal skill. A wrist of sublime reflex. A towel that snaps with the speed of God and a hand of stamina that can withstand the forces. Yes ladies and gentleman, I refer to the teenage boy. The only true predator of the Zulu Fly. But I digress, the memories of the pizza is getting me excited.

Kez’s sister was slightly taller and a tad more graceful, other than the moments she pulled her top up to prevent it from sliding over her plentiful breasts. She carried a small purse in her left hand; the pizza slices and napkins in her right as she flapped flapped her way to the bench. Kez ran to meet her and took a pizza triangle without preamble.
Plentiful handed one to Ladybird who thanked her as if she had donated her a kidney and Elegance shoved her glasses to her crown and rolled her eyes to heaven. Plentiful whooshed Elegance up a spot and squeezed in at the end before handing her a napkin and the slice with salami.

“Eight euro Kez” Plentiful said as she took a bite and continued talking “Now can somebody please explain to me why we’re eating on the bench?”

Kez jerked her thumb to her right
“Didn’t go well with the in-laws to be”, she then nodded to her left at Ladybird
“and she’s pissed her off by saying something she shouldn’t have”

Ladybird straightened and sat forward “All I said is that you were probably the first Lesbian they’ve seen and…”

“You mean apart from their daughter of the last twenty three years?” Elegance snapped back.

“You know what I mean,” Ladybird ventured.

Elegance took a dainty nibble at her salami pizza and looked away with a body language that left no doubt, Ladybird was in trouble.
Kez buried her face in the pizza slice so she wouldn’t start laughing and Ladybird flushed pink and stared off into space. And for a fleeting moment I couldn’t help but wonder if our summer dressed girl with the perfumed feet and ladybird tattoo loved our moody Elegance. But before I could ponder this astute observation of mine two things happened.
Plentiful dropped the morsel I had been waiting for and as I swooped in for collection a woman across the street clicked her camera to capture the moment, her name is MargaretC.

I regret to say I can tell you no more, for I gathered my pizza and flew to the safety of the vent in the wall, and the four pretty girls of the bench were out of earshot. I was quite famished you must understand. Please accept my apologies
But I’ll make it up to you. I will travel to a destination of your desire where we can eavesdrop together and listen to a conversation of your choice. But before you ask, just remember one thing.

I am a Zulu Fly. And I can see you too.

© Cathal 2010

Zulu Fly...and the Pretty Girl Bench

Cathal .

Dublin, Ireland

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Artist's Description

Some time ago I favourited a picture by a fellow bubbler "MargaretC"http://www.redbubble.com/people/margaretc called Company and recently asked Margaret could I have a bash at writing a little story around it. It’s a fascinating picture with four people in different thought and I wondered what was going on.
Here’s the attempt anyway. Congratulations MargaretC on a wonderful picture, and I must confess, I started this story with no idea where it was going, and the four pretty girls sitting on the bench kind of surprised me.
I hope technology works and you can see the pic as you read !

Artwork Comments

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